fearman's definitions

atheist

Someone who refuses to bow to the alleged power of any alleged supernatural entity, however great that power is alleged to be. One of a group of people far wiser and more common than they are usually given credit for. Someone who thinks in terms of reason rather than fear. In particular, someone who refuses to let their perfectly natural fear of death overwhelm their reason. Someone who accepts that even if there were a god worth worshipping, which cannot be proved, the divinity would be worth worshipping precisely because it supports or represents such things as justice, truth, love and compassion, which are universal human ideals and are not, contrary to the propaganda, derived from any religion. Someone who accepts that, as guides to the good life, such ideals therefore come before all else. A humanist. Atheists are often accused, by religionists who have found support in postmodernist relativism, that atheism is a religion like any other. If anorexia could be considered a favourite food, these postmodernist types might have a point ... but I'm doubting it.

Someone once said there are no atheists in foxholes. Firstly, oh yes there are: and secondly, even if it were true, that would be more an argument against foxholes than against atheism.

by Fearman September 6, 2007

do a Begbie

To toss/drop a beer glass over the side of a balcony on pub customers below, esp. if this results in injuries downstairs. May be accidental, but strictly speaking is intended to provide a pretext for the dropper to come downstairs, claim to be upset, and escalate the punch-up. From the stunt pulled by Francis Begbie in the 1996 classic movie, Trainspotting. At its classiest when the glass is thrown nonchalantly over the shoulder, like a pinch of salt.

That fellah over there with the scars down one side of his face is leaning over the rail with his Erdinger glass in one hand and has a look of sick anticipation in his eyes. I suspect he may be about to do a Begbie on the broad with the big boobs and the red T-shirt.

by Fearman April 10, 2008

silicone ship

A busty woman, obviously heavily augmented in the breast area.

Don't look now, but I see two silicone ships at three o'clock.

by Fearman November 25, 2007

axis of evil

A list of countries that "President" Bush II chooses to use as a distraction from domestic issues and questions about his own popularity. Members of the axis are usually (but not invariably) Muslim, are often grindingly poor outside the palaces of tribal elites, and more to the point do not possess the ability, as states, to retaliate against American soil if subjected to an armed invasion.

China is not part of the Axis of Evil because it possesses ICBMs and incidentally is a large market for American businesses.

by Fearman January 29, 2008

Ultima Thule

1. A weird and wonderful land beyond the nethermost north wind that some nineteenth-century mystics once imagined to be inhabited by incredibly evolved blond blue-eyed people known as the Hyperboreans. Proof positive that some people had way too much to drink.

2. Somewhere you see when you are paralytic drunk.

Belief in Ultima Thule barely survived the arrival of nuclear submarines at the North Pole.

After ten pints of lager and a few shots of absinthe or whiskey, he's headed for Ultima Thule.

by Fearman January 25, 2008

Saturn

1. Sixth planet from the Sun and second largest in the system. The outermost planet known in classical times. 764 times Earth's volume, 94 times its mass. Orbits once in nearly 30 Earth years at a distance of roughly 925 million miles. Gravity at cloud decks averages about 1.16 times that on Earth. The least dense planet in the system, overall density roughly .687 times that of water. Diameter 74,898 miles through the equator, give or take five miles; 67,560 miles through the poles, give or take 13 miles. Average temperature at visible cloud decks is about 185 degrees Centigrade below zero. Atmosphere is mostly hydrogen with some helium and traces of other elements, similar but not identical to that of Jupiter. Cloud patterns appear more subdued than on Jupiter, due at least in part to an upper layer of haze. Best known for its bright and extensive ring system, consisting of countless trillions of blocks of (mainly) water ice. Most of the ring system is within a diameter of 225,000 miles or so, but is only a few hundred feet thick; scaled down to the size of a city, the rings would be as thick as a sheet of newsprint. Saturn has a retinue of major satellites comparable to those around Jupiter; only one of them, Titan, is particularly large. The latter is an intriguing body recently imaged by the Cassini Probe and visited by the Huygens Lander, and the only moon in the solar system with an appreciable atmosphere.

2. Roman god of time and farming, equivalent to the Greek Kronos. Best known for his feeling of unease at the possibility that his sons would outdo him, which he assuaged in the most efficient way possible; by eating them. One of them, however, escaped. His name was Jupiter, and the rest, as they say, is mythology.

3. The family of rockets used in the Apollo mission that (Uncle Sam, take a bow) landed humans on the Moon.

Saturn is often referred to as the Lord of the Rings.

Goya painted Saturn devouring one of his children.

The Saturn V rocket blasted off, taking Armstrong, Aldrin and Collins to the moon.

by Fearman May 12, 2008

Grand Poo Bah

A Grand Poo Bah is any overbearing and pompous authority, often claiming numerous titles, roles or distinctions and frequently overplaying their hand. An overstuffed shirt. Someone who expects others to lick up to them for nothing. From a character in the 1885 Gilbert and Sullivan operetta The Mikado. Not to be confused with the Grand Pooh Bear, who is someone else again.

There's Larry again, trying to tell everyone what to do and swanning around like he's the Grand Poo Bah.

by Fearman March 4, 2008