4 definitions by emerson parker
Below average looking female who is who is lacking in personality and self worth. Has a propensity for daddy issues and therefore has a habit of pursuing older men (usually married). Also has a habit of believing that the married men she gives herself to so easily think that she is special, like a glamorous mistress. She stays under the radar until attending events involving alcohol, like office and Christmas parties, where the straight laced facade will be dropped and she will entertain the advances of any willing partner. After the events she is normally the first to deny anything and then enforce her almost prudish image.
"I see Slutty Fuck-all is getting friendly with Kevin".
"Yeah, he fucked her after the pub on thursday".
"How do you know that?".
"He was bragging about getting her to pay for the hotel ".
"Really?".
"Yeah he was saying that she thinks its serious, but he's just using her for a quick fuck when he wants it".
"Stupid slut".
"Yeah, he fucked her after the pub on thursday".
"How do you know that?".
"He was bragging about getting her to pay for the hotel ".
"Really?".
"Yeah he was saying that she thinks its serious, but he's just using her for a quick fuck when he wants it".
"Stupid slut".
by emerson parker November 12, 2016
An individual, predominantly female, who lives in the greater Chigwell area. Usually overweight, unattractive and unpopular, hence their lack of actual social life. Due to their obsession with the equally shallow and materialistic cast of Towie, they feel compelled to show off their apparent affluence. Tanning sessions, shopping sprees holidays and of course the bottom of the range german car (BMW 1 Series, Mercedes A Class, Audi A1 etc.) all hide the fact that they are usually employed in a run of the mill job and still live at home, with their parents, despite being nearly 30. Any attention they do garner is exploited to its full potential, even if the person giving it to them is married. Or if in the rare instance that they are in relationship and someone else gives them the attention they crave, they will think nothing of taking advantage of the extra attention. Even to the point of going behind their (very few) friend's backs. Also in their arsenal is flirting and the suggestion of sexual favours within the workplace to ensure that they get what they want. They do however feel a certain superiority to other people, and sport a particularly smug grin when they feel like they are gaining an advantage over the "lesser" people.
Q. "How did she get a brand new BMW? She's only an assistant to the manager. Not like she does much work"
A. "She only got that job cos she blew ***** in the carpark. Anyway, she still lives at home rent free with mummy and daddy. Fuckin' Towie'tard!"
A. "She only got that job cos she blew ***** in the carpark. Anyway, she still lives at home rent free with mummy and daddy. Fuckin' Towie'tard!"
by emerson parker November 11, 2016
The act of two people constantly texting each other despite being in close proximity. Usually to conceal a relationship. The irony being that it is blatantly obvious to everyone in the room what they are doing.
by emerson parker November 12, 2016
Funny shaped, orange and gets passed around at parties. A girl of limited height, looks and morals. A little like a slutty oompa loopa.Will latch onto any guy that gives her attention, even if she is already with someone. Or they are married. After engaging in sexual congress with her guys will often deny any contact due to embarrassment.
by emerson parker October 26, 2016