Towie'tard 

An individual, predominantly female, who lives in the greater Chigwell area. Usually overweight, unattractive and unpopular, hence their lack of actual social life. Due to their obsession with the equally shallow and materialistic cast of Towie, they feel compelled to show off their apparent affluence. Tanning sessions, shopping sprees holidays and of course the bottom of the range german car (BMW 1 Series, Mercedes A Class, Audi A1 etc.) all hide the fact that they are usually employed in a run of the mill job and still live at home, with their parents, despite being nearly 30. Any attention they do garner is exploited to its full potential, even if the person giving it to them is married. Or if in the rare instance that they are in relationship and someone else gives them the attention they crave, they will think nothing of taking advantage of the extra attention. Even to the point of going behind their (very few) friend's backs. Also in their arsenal is flirting and the suggestion of sexual favours within the workplace to ensure that they get what they want. They do however feel a certain superiority to other people, and sport a particularly smug grin when they feel like they are gaining an advantage over the "lesser" people.

Q. "How did she get a brand new BMW? She's only an assistant to the manager. Not like she does much work"
A. "She only got that job cos she blew ***** in the carpark. Anyway, she still lives at home rent free with mummy and daddy. Fuckin' Towie'tard!"

Towie'tard by emerson parker November 11, 2016