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carl j. maltese's definitions

should have polished the wood

What you should have done...instead of getting her pregnant!
He: "Damn! I should have polished the wood instead of knocking you up!"

She: "You were. But you forgot I was there!"
by Carl J. Maltese November 9, 2007
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Hanes grazer

Derogatory term for a homosexual male. First used by Howard Stern.
"Are you just another turd tapping Hanes grazer!?"
by Carl J. Maltese April 13, 2007
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space marine

Technically, the troopers in "Starship Troopers" were known as 'The Mobile Infantry,' storm troopers, shock troops, marines, and army special forces all rolled into one.

The military personal featured in "Aliens" and "Space: Above and Beyond" were 'space marines.'

'Space Marines' were also featured in the Japanimation show "Space Battleship Yamato/Star Blazers." In the original Japanese show they were called 'The Space Calvary."

In the James Bond movie "Moonraker," Drax's space station is attacked by U.S. Astronaut Marines--different beast entirely.
"The Space Marines will make their stand here on Broomus! Victory or death!"
by Carl J. Maltese April 16, 2007
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GRASER

Acronym for: Gamma Ray Amplification by Stimulated Emission of Radiation.
"Popular Science magazine says the GRASER really does exist.
That's all fine-and-dandy...like we don't have enough weapons of mass destruction at our disposal."
by Carl J. Maltese March 29, 2007
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Bill Frist

This millennia's Perpetual Poster Boy for birth control, incest, congenital mental impairment, miscegnation, sexual debauchery, beastaltiy and animal cruelty.
Also: He is the Incredible Christ Appointed Doctor who was able to determine that Terri Schiavo was responding to visual stimuli simply by watching a video of her for a whole hour! When Miss Shiavo finally did pass-away, her autopsy revealed there was no way she could have been responding to visual stimuli. She was blind.
Be sure to read Bill Frist's self-published genealogy "Assholes beget assholes"...uh, I mean "Good people beget good people."
by Carl J. Maltese December 6, 2007
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SHADO

Supreme Headquarters Alien Defense Organization.

Supreme Headquarters Allied Defense Organization.

Fictional secret organization from the British sc-fi TV show "UFO." Said organization was established in the far-flung, futuristic year of 1980 and waged a covert war with maurauding "unhuman" aliens who were kidnapping humans for their own sinister purposes.
"Once you join SHADO, you can never leave!"
by Carl J. Maltese April 12, 2007
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raining like a double-cunted cow pissing on a flat rock

An archaic "hick" term for heavy rain or snow fall.
"Sheeeeeet! It sure is cumin' down out there! Raining like a double-cunted cow pissing on a flat rock!"
by Carl J. Maltese April 28, 2007
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