bryan gilbreath's definitions

crawlleague

A 'crawlleague' is a co-worker or colleague whose lack of self-respect and character forces them to spend much of their working life, and their sad, sad social life on their knees.

Employee #1: Wow, that guy seems to be a rising star in your firm. Every time I visit your office he's hanging on your bosses' every word and staring at him with those big doe eyes.

Employee #2: Yeah, my 'crawlleague' is a real tool alright.

by Bryan Gilbreath March 7, 2012

mikegrain headache

The headach one gets from working with someone named Mike.

A: Dude, you look like you're in agony. What's up?
B: I've got a "Mikegrain headache" man. Worst ever. There's a project due next week and he's freaking out like it was due yesterday.

by Bryan Gilbreath August 28, 2009

nagnify

When someone takes a small issue and nags about it as if it's a larger issue than it really is.

A: Why don't you bury those bodies deeper so it doesn't stink up our crawlspace so much!?

B: Sheesh, have you ever tried digging under a house before? How about you shutting your yap and not 'nagnify' the situation!

by Bryan Gilbreath October 1, 2009

slaprehensive

Hesitation one may experience before slapping someone such as a loved one or employer.

A: Dude! That was so cool when you backhanded the boss! Too bad you lost your job.

B: Thanks! At first I was a bit 'slaprehensive'. But then I remembered what an ass he is. It was totally worth it!

by Bryan Gilbreath September 23, 2009

science friction

The difference of opinion between scientific schools of thought.

A: Well, I'm glad we all finally agree that the beginning of everything hinges soley on the 'Big Bang' theory.
B: Hold on there, Poindexter! I think we have found ourselves in a position of 'science friction'. You see, I subscribe the the time's arrow school of thought.

by Bryan Gilbreath October 23, 2010

partial mirth abortion

The act of cutting off someone's joke by beating them to the punchline.

A: Hey, did you tell your co-workers that joke I told you last night?
B: Yeah.
A: Well, how did it go over?
B: It was a 'partial mirth abortion'. I was pausing, as you should for comedic effect... just about ready to tell the punchline..... and some jerk beat me to it.

by Bryan Gilbreath March 1, 2011

Enragement ring

A piece of jewelry, typically a ring, that is purchased for a girlfriend in an effort to make her happy after you have made her angry.

A: Wow, your girlfriend is pretty pissed that you were out all night and didn't call her. What are you going to do?
B: Yeah, you're right, she's pretty mad. I might have to buy her an 'enragement ring' to smooth things over.

by Bryan Gilbreath September 8, 2009