bromp's definitions

Tony Blair Legacy

Bromp's def. is defo on the right track – the Turd Way is indeed The Tony Blair Legacy. He rightly defines this grinning politician in designer clothing with a designer turd clogging the works. But may I suggest that he worked the word Turd to a greater effect, by associating it with Blair's election ticket in 1997 as the harbinger of the Third Way: i.e a typical power-mad politico, who wants to be all things to all men left/right/black/white & centre, who will do literally anything to get elected, even changing religion probably at the instigation of his mad grinning ugly wife in order to be electable as Pres. of the new EU vatican. The Tony Blair Legacy is like The Turd Way.

Bert - “What d'you think of this Barak Obama's chances then – he promises a lot, don't he?”

Sid - “Dunno, Bert, but he might just be part of The Tony Blair Legacy ..”

by bromp May 15, 2008

Barnsley blow job

During sexual congress in the "missionary position", when the lady "drops a gut" with sufficient gusto to blast her suitor's balls up his arsehole.

Rebecca was always going to deliver a Barnsley blow job in revenge for the night when I used her new white designer dress to muffle a fart, after enjoying a one-on-one romp.
The fart was a controlled blockbuster, but the sad proof of the detonation was clear for all to see when the next morning she strode proudly out of my apartment onto the
street, where the neighbours had a good laugh at all the shit up the back of her dress.

by bromp May 10, 2008

uri geller smeller

A Uri Geller Smeller is named after the man who claimed he could bend spoons and stop clocks just by looking at them, and is the result of a violent incident of "sitting on a mortar" after a bad curry, when the foul miasma emanates from the WC and works its way around the house bending spoons and stopping clocks as it goes.

Postman: "I shouldn't go to number 10 Downing Street just yet without a gas mask, Officer. There's been a Uri Geller Smeller incident! Give it 20 minutes if I were you."

by bromp March 19, 2008

velcrofart

a Velcrofart describes the situation where, to pluck an example out of thin air, a bloke called Binkie has been ordered out of the Dandy Lion Arms, because the fumes from his Arse are upsetting the licensee's children, but when he re-enters the bar, the gut-wrenching stench follows him back in.

Bert - Christ who ripped that one?
Sam - Oh No! Binkie's dropped another velcrofart; they stick to him like Bud Flanagan used to stick to Chesney Allen ...

by bromp April 16, 2009

leaker

leaker n. Aus. A sexually alluring female, that is to say, one who "has holes that need to be plugged up".

O. was a leaker and would fuck anything that would help her into a job. She was a leaker who had a penchant for back door love.

by bromp March 14, 2010

Top deck

v. to top deck: a house guest who defecates in one's host cistern, rather than, more conventionally, in the toilet, for comic effect.

Tony Blair and his wife Cherie were invited round by the Browns to congratulate Gordon on his appointment as Prime Minister. Cherie was furious because she never liked Gordon and wanted her Tony to stay on another 10 years. She said to herself : “I know, I'll fix 'em with a good smelly top deck after the main course”.

by bromp May 15, 2008

turdwayman

Slimey politicians of no substance or conviction who want to appeal to everyone left/right/centre/multi-culti. These set out their agenda as The Third Way, which means they want everyone of all poiltical shades to see them as their perfect leader, when in fact, like Tony Blair, they have nothing more to offer than their hunger for power. Bill Clinton was another but less obvious example of the followers of the Turd Way.

Steve "well what do think of this Barack Obama then?"

Tony "don't know, might be just be another turdwayman".

by bromp May 16, 2008