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bromp's definitions

mortar

To "sit on a mortar" is to suffer the consequences of a 'dirty bomb' detonation.
"Unfortunately Your Highness, my husband had some dodgy prawn chimichongas for lunch and has sat on a mortar, thus he will not be able to attend tea."
by bromp December 9, 2008
mugGet the mortarmug.

Top-decking

A house guest who defecates in one's host cistern, rather than, more conventionally, in the toilet, for comic effect.
Tony Blair and his wife Cherie were invited round by the Browns to congratulate Gordon on his appointment as Prime Minister. Cherie was furious because she never liked Gordon and wanted her Tony to stay on another 10 years. She said to herself : “I know, I'll fix 'em with a good smelly top-decking after the main course”.
by bromp May 15, 2008
mugGet the Top-deckingmug.

velcrofart

a Velcrofart describes the situation where, to pluck an example out of thin air, a bloke called Binkie has been ordered out of the Dandy Lion Arms, because the fumes from his Arse are upsetting the licensee's children, but when he re-enters the bar, the gut-wrenching stench follows him back in.
Bert - Christ who ripped that one?
Sam - Oh No! Binkie's dropped another velcrofart; they stick to him like Bud Flanagan used to stick to Chesney Allen ...
by bromp April 16, 2009
mugGet the velcrofartmug.

Pavlov's Log

Humph's and Magna Farta's def. is all very well, yet if I may venture to suggest another meaning: the term could equally well be used to define the onset of defecatory cramps caused by the aroma of ground coffee. Therefore:
" I am sorry, Your Honour, that the Defendant has not yet appeared. He is not however absent in Contempt of Court as I am able to instruct the Jury that Pavlov's Log is held and recongized here by the Court as Mitigating Circumstances. We can confirm that Starbuck's coffee house outside the Courthouse was indeed repsonsible for the onset of my client's bout of Pavlov's Log. He has been detained in the Couthouse restroom and will be appearing in due course."
by bromp May 10, 2008
mugGet the Pavlov's Logmug.

Bombay barometer

That miraculous sensor situated in the anal tract that enables the operator to determine whether the chamber is loaded with gas or solid matter, before risking a fart. The Bombay barometer may give faulty readings when, for example, swamped by large quantities of beer and curry, with disastrous results.
"Who dropped the dark blockbuster? Smells like someone's Bombay barometer failed!"
by bromp January 20, 2009
mugGet the Bombay barometermug.

Top deck

v. to top deck: a house guest who defecates in one's host cistern, rather than, more conventionally, in the toilet, for comic effect.
Tony Blair and his wife Cherie were invited round by the Browns to congratulate Gordon on his appointment as Prime Minister. Cherie was furious because she never liked Gordon and wanted her Tony to stay on another 10 years. She said to herself : “I know, I'll fix 'em with a good smelly top deck after the main course”.
by bromp May 15, 2008
mugGet the Top deckmug.

leaker

leaker n. Aus. A sexually alluring female, that is to say, one who "has holes that need to be plugged up".
O. was a leaker and would fuck anything that would help her into a job. She was a leaker who had a penchant for back door love.
by bromp March 14, 2010
mugGet the leakermug.

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