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blenderhead1991's definitions

WET

My brother, Joel is WET. He's like the biggest dick I know.
by Blenderhead1991 June 9, 2011
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green hole

1.) (n.) an unwashed or otherwise smelly vaginal orifice. Referred to as such for the unsubstantiated belief that such vaginas emit a visible green cloud of noxious, toxic stench.

2.) (n.) Term used to describe a woman in possession of a vagina that suffers from the aforementioned malady.
1.) Can you believe it, Juan? I mean who knew Miss Krupitzer had a green hole? I swear to Christ, I went down on that thing and damn near gagged.

2.) After Doug sampled every girl on the cheerleading squad, he confirmed that Nicole and Heather were to be avoided; they're green holes. He's still swilling Listerine a week later.
by Blenderhead1991 September 7, 2010
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drop ballast

to have a movement of one's bowels; to take a shit (nautical in origin).
Captain Pete grabbed a newspaper and headed for the shithouse. It was obvious he was going to cop a squat and drop ballast.
by Blenderhead1991 May 13, 2009
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pounding the porpoise

To jerk off. To masturbate. To stroke one's own cock (usually with much vigor).
Damn, my cock is sore! Since Sara shot me down, I've been pounding the porpoise to an old Hustler. I really need to get me some for-real nookie!
by Blenderhead1991 September 7, 2010
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online predator

1.) (n.) a sexual predator who uses chat rooms, instant messenging, or social networking sites for the purpose of flirting with and meeting others for illicit sexual experiences. Pedophiles, hebephiles, and pederasts who encourage secret meetings or solicite sex with their targeted demographic through these methods are considered to be online predators.

2.) A mammal belonging to Order Carnivora (tigers, grizzly bears, timber wolves, wolverines, raccons, etc.) with an internet connection.
1.) Doug is an online predator. He's in chat rooms or on MSN all day trying to hook up with young girls. What a sicko.

2.) Zippy the Squirrel was killed by an online predator. I didn't even know that a grizzly bear could type!
by Blenderhead1991 May 13, 2009
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maggot baby

(n.) The horribly mutated offspring of your alcoholic ex-girlfriend when she gets knocked up by the loser she picks up at the bar to make you jealous.
Earl: Hey, Ron! Have you seen Jennifer's baby?

Ron: Fuck that dirty slut and her maggot baby!
by Blenderhead1991 September 5, 2010
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knee walking commode hugging snot slinging drunk

n.) a truly envious condition, indeed. To have consumed so much alcohol that most of one's motor skills are severely impaired. One in this condition will walk on his or her knees to decrease the distance he or she may fall in the event of a tumble, thus limiting injury, and the commode hugging comes in when the individual prays to regurgitate, thereby alleviating some of the associated nausea. The snot-slinging simply appears to be a side-effect--however when spoken to, a person in this condition will spray a combination of mucus and spit to who ever he or she is conversing with.
Alex drank way too many Tequia Fannybangers and did too many jello shots last night and wound up knee walking commode hugging snot slinging drunk before half the party guests arrived.
by Blenderhead1991 May 19, 2009
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