blenderhead1991's definitions

knee walking commode hugging snot slinging drunk

n.) a truly envious condition, indeed. To have consumed so much alcohol that most of one's motor skills are severely impaired. One in this condition will walk on his or her knees to decrease the distance he or she may fall in the event of a tumble, thus limiting injury, and the commode hugging comes in when the individual prays to regurgitate, thereby alleviating some of the associated nausea. The snot-slinging simply appears to be a side-effect--however when spoken to, a person in this condition will spray a combination of mucus and spit to who ever he or she is conversing with.

Alex drank way too many Tequia Fannybangers and did too many jello shots last night and wound up knee walking commode hugging snot slinging drunk before half the party guests arrived.

by Blenderhead1991 May 19, 2009

atomic nipple

(n.) oversized and/or protruding areolae. Also known as a puffy nipple. May make the nipple appear to be pointy (a condition known as "banana boob") or where the areola is not protruding may resemble a slice of pepperoni.Attraction to nipples of this nature is considered to be a fetish by some. Atomic nipples are rumored to be quite sensitive.

Nichole has huge atomic nipples, which I consider to be her soul redeeming quality. I really dug sucking on them.

by Blenderhead1991 May 13, 2009

American Family Association

(n.) an allegedly non-profit ultra-conservative organization that advocates criminalizing homosexuality and lobbies against hate-crime legislature and same-sex marriage. The AFA has, at times, advocated gay-bashing and aheres to and publicizes the belief that all non-Christians are in league with Satan. The AFA (as it is known) owns over 180 radio stations and airs its message of intolerance and hatred through these venues. AFA members rationalize their views on homosexuality by claiming Hitler was gay (tell that to all the homosexuals who died in concentration camps)and to raise children in a Jewish household is to introduce them to a criminal way of life. The AFA submits that all AIDS patients should be quarentined.The AFA once called for a boycott of Ford Motors because Ford had offered benefits to the partners of their lesbian and gay employees. The Southern Poverty Law Center has investigated the AFA as a hate group and notes that it is "primarily an anti-gay organization."

Diane Gramely is a hate monger and spokesperson for the American Family Association of Pennsylvania.

by Blenderhead1991 May 14, 2009

drop ballast

to have a movement of one's bowels; to take a shit (nautical in origin).

Captain Pete grabbed a newspaper and headed for the shithouse. It was obvious he was going to cop a squat and drop ballast.

by Blenderhead1991 May 13, 2009

pounding the porpoise

To jerk off. To masturbate. To stroke one's own cock (usually with much vigor).

Damn, my cock is sore! Since Sara shot me down, I've been pounding the porpoise to an old Hustler. I really need to get me some for-real nookie!

by Blenderhead1991 September 7, 2010

Busted Out Butthole Syndrome

(n.) Abbreviated B.O.B.S., is a prolapsed rectum, usually associated with to many objects being inserted into one's rectum or entirely too much anal sex, resulting in a weakening of the sphincter muscles and the last few inches of the sygmoid colon hanging out of the afflicted's anus. A very unfortunate condition, indeed.

I had the unfortunate misfortune to shower with Randy at the gym. I couldn't believe he has Busted Out Butthole Syndrome. I swore it was a tail at first, but, much to my horror, it was the last six inches of his colon. Disgusting!

by Blenderhead1991 June 10, 2009

online predator

1.) (n.) a sexual predator who uses chat rooms, instant messenging, or social networking sites for the purpose of flirting with and meeting others for illicit sexual experiences. Pedophiles, hebephiles, and pederasts who encourage secret meetings or solicite sex with their targeted demographic through these methods are considered to be online predators.

2.) A mammal belonging to Order Carnivora (tigers, grizzly bears, timber wolves, wolverines, raccons, etc.) with an internet connection.

1.) Doug is an online predator. He's in chat rooms or on MSN all day trying to hook up with young girls. What a sicko.

2.) Zippy the Squirrel was killed by an online predator. I didn't even know that a grizzly bear could type!

by Blenderhead1991 May 13, 2009