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blenderhead1991's definitions

knee walking commode hugging snot slinging drunk

n.) a truly envious condition, indeed. To have consumed so much alcohol that most of one's motor skills are severely impaired. One in this condition will walk on his or her knees to decrease the distance he or she may fall in the event of a tumble, thus limiting injury, and the commode hugging comes in when the individual prays to regurgitate, thereby alleviating some of the associated nausea. The snot-slinging simply appears to be a side-effect--however when spoken to, a person in this condition will spray a combination of mucus and spit to who ever he or she is conversing with.
Alex drank way too many Tequia Fannybangers and did too many jello shots last night and wound up knee walking commode hugging snot slinging drunk before half the party guests arrived.
by Blenderhead1991 May 19, 2009
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maggot baby

(n.) The horribly mutated offspring of your alcoholic ex-girlfriend when she gets knocked up by the loser she picks up at the bar to make you jealous.
Earl: Hey, Ron! Have you seen Jennifer's baby?

Ron: Fuck that dirty slut and her maggot baby!
by Blenderhead1991 September 5, 2010
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detonating gonaditis

(n.) the medical name for exploding testicles. It is divided into two types, Acute Regional Gonadotrophic Hernioma (ARGH) the less serious of the two, and the always life-threatening Osteoulcerative Colonic Hernioma (OuCH).The first variety is the most common form of the disease. It is characterized by swelling of one or more testicles and acute pain in the groin region. This is accompanied by insomnia, lethargy, and in some cases, severe flatulence. Although not immediately life threatening, if left untreated the gonads will continue to swell until the patient is forced to continuously squat, eventually, the gonads burst without warning, emitting an audible pop. In the second form of the disease, detonation occurs spontaneously and without warning, which can be far more psychologically traumatic for the patient than it is physically. Even still, the force generated by the rapid pressure release can cause significant injury to the vital organs, resulting in an immediate coma and death. It is estimated that more people are killed each year from Detonating Gonaditus than are killed on the roads.

Both forms of detonating gonaditis are believed to have both genetic and environmental components. If a patient has the disease, then their risk of developing the disease in later life is believed to be close to 100%. Similarly, the risk factor is increased by smoking, drinking, and sex.
I can't believe what happened to Buddy. His balls just exploded! The paramedics said it was another sad case of detonating gonaditis.
by Blenderhead1991 September 9, 2010
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WET

My brother, Joel is WET. He's like the biggest dick I know.
by Blenderhead1991 June 9, 2011
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pounding the porpoise

To jerk off. To masturbate. To stroke one's own cock (usually with much vigor).
Damn, my cock is sore! Since Sara shot me down, I've been pounding the porpoise to an old Hustler. I really need to get me some for-real nookie!
by Blenderhead1991 September 7, 2010
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drop ballast

to have a movement of one's bowels; to take a shit (nautical in origin).
Captain Pete grabbed a newspaper and headed for the shithouse. It was obvious he was going to cop a squat and drop ballast.
by Blenderhead1991 May 13, 2009
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American Family Association

(n.) an allegedly non-profit ultra-conservative organization that advocates criminalizing homosexuality and lobbies against hate-crime legislature and same-sex marriage. The AFA has, at times, advocated gay-bashing and aheres to and publicizes the belief that all non-Christians are in league with Satan. The AFA (as it is known) owns over 180 radio stations and airs its message of intolerance and hatred through these venues. AFA members rationalize their views on homosexuality by claiming Hitler was gay (tell that to all the homosexuals who died in concentration camps)and to raise children in a Jewish household is to introduce them to a criminal way of life. The AFA submits that all AIDS patients should be quarentined.The AFA once called for a boycott of Ford Motors because Ford had offered benefits to the partners of their lesbian and gay employees. The Southern Poverty Law Center has investigated the AFA as a hate group and notes that it is "primarily an anti-gay organization."
Diane Gramely is a hate monger and spokesperson for the American Family Association of Pennsylvania.
by Blenderhead1991 May 14, 2009
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