Blenderhead1991's definitions

pounding the porpoise

To jerk off. To masturbate. To stroke one's own cock (usually with much vigor).

Damn, my cock is sore! Since Sara shot me down, I've been pounding the porpoise to an old Hustler. I really need to get me some for-real nookie!

by Blenderhead1991 September 7, 2010

maggot baby

(n.) The horribly mutated offspring of your alcoholic ex-girlfriend when she gets knocked up by the loser she picks up at the bar to make you jealous.

Earl: Hey, Ron! Have you seen Jennifer's baby?

Ron: Fuck that dirty slut and her maggot baby!

by Blenderhead1991 September 5, 2010

Cungus Among Us

1.) A situation that occurs when, in a gathering of people or a crowd, the odor of smelly genitalia can be detected, yet not isolated.

2.) A situation in which one can smell unwashed, nasty cock and balls or rancid-smelling vagina, but the individual noticing said malodorous privates does not wish to name the person with the offending stinky genitals.

1.) Oh, God, Bert. Do you smell that? There's cungus among us!

2.) Frank rolled his eyes and simulated gagging when Gustav's cousin Gwen and her gaggle of friends strolled past. Then he whispered to Hank, "Don't sniff now, but there's cungus among us."

by Blenderhead1991 September 7, 2010

Busted Out Butthole Syndrome

(n.) Abbreviated B.O.B.S., is a prolapsed rectum, usually associated with to many objects being inserted into one's rectum or entirely too much anal sex, resulting in a weakening of the sphincter muscles and the last few inches of the sygmoid colon hanging out of the afflicted's anus. A very unfortunate condition, indeed.

I had the unfortunate misfortune to shower with Randy at the gym. I couldn't believe he has Busted Out Butthole Syndrome. I swore it was a tail at first, but, much to my horror, it was the last six inches of his colon. Disgusting!

by Blenderhead1991 June 10, 2009

gangrenous hole

(n.) a vagina that is infected with some sort of disease (not necessarily gangrene),appears generally unhealthy visually, or is displeasing to one's olfactory sense.

Ned: I am telling you bro, Erika is smoking hot, but when I got them panties off......man, it was like I was facing off your granny's gangrenous hole.

Neal: Dude....how do you know about my granny's snatch?

by Blenderhead1991 May 5, 2009

Ruthless and Toothless

1.) A condition known to occur in foul-tempered folks who have poor oral hygiene. usually female. Despite their toothless state, they still are no good at oral sex.

2.) A person who suffers from this malady.

1.) Have you seen that mean bitch, Jennifer? Not only does she have B.O. and a bush up to her bellybutton, but she's ruthless and toothless.

2.) Ruthless and Toothless got suspended from work again. I guess she showed up drunk. You'd think a pregnant woman would have more respect for her fetus.

by Blenderhead1991 September 11, 2010

knee walking commode hugging snot slinging drunk

n.) a truly envious condition, indeed. To have consumed so much alcohol that most of one's motor skills are severely impaired. One in this condition will walk on his or her knees to decrease the distance he or she may fall in the event of a tumble, thus limiting injury, and the commode hugging comes in when the individual prays to regurgitate, thereby alleviating some of the associated nausea. The snot-slinging simply appears to be a side-effect--however when spoken to, a person in this condition will spray a combination of mucus and spit to who ever he or she is conversing with.

Alex drank way too many Tequia Fannybangers and did too many jello shots last night and wound up knee walking commode hugging snot slinging drunk before half the party guests arrived.

by Blenderhead1991 May 19, 2009