bitchuck's definitions

maplewashing

Any ruse or attempt to appear Canadian for marketing purposes in the Canadian market, if the product or its vendor are of primarily foreign origin.

There are various confusing designations such as "prepared in Canada" (for foreign foodstuffs packaged in Canada) or "cellared in Canada" (for wines packaged in Canada but not made from Canadian grapes). At some point maplewashing is a form of whitewashing, but the inherently-regional term "maple" infers wrapping foreign product in the Canadian flag.

An analogous tactic, "pinkwashing", is a form of whitewashing which hijacks women's or LGBT causes (such as breast cancer awareness) for demographic marketing.

by bitchuck June 12, 2025

booty camp

A play on words intended to invoke "boot camp", a military training camp for new soldiers, by repackaging this as an exercise camp for vain women looking to improve the shape of their arses or "booties".

No need to march off to booty camp, ma'am, I'd be more than willing to drop to my knees and kiss your arse just the way you are.

by bitchuck November 20, 2025

facial tissue

A facial is a sexual act in which hot, sticky man-juice is spewed unto a pornstar's face.

A facial tissue is a specific type of cum rag, usually made of paper fibre, created to clean up the resulting mess.

Any tissues which are not consumed during film production are sold to the fans, which has proven a profitable venture.

Kimberly Clark introduced the first facial tissues to porn after being spooged in the face one time too many on-camera.

They've become fairly standard across most adult entertainment, with the exception of one group of gay male pr0nductions in which colour-coded handkerchiefs are still being stuffed into the left or right arse trouser pockets to signify which perversions an individual performer is seeking or willing to participate in.

by bitchuck September 12, 2024

fanny pack

An Americanism for what in proper English is a "bum bag" — a pouch or other device worn around the waist by butt sluts to hold safer-sex supplies, sex toys and other paraphernalia for kinky buttsecks. The wearer is typically clad in skintight stretch clothing to showcase their assets, leaving nowhere else to store their anal lube, condoms, butt plugs, douche or enema bulbs and other supplies needed to prepare their butts for anal sex. While jogging (running around) or cycling (peddling their arses all over town) to find a mate, the savvy buttslut comes prepared by wearing this pack (usually directly over or above the trampstamp) with everything needed to savour the fruits of Sodom.

So why, then, would a bum bag be a "fanny pack"? Most likely, a few trollops are looking for a Devil's threesome which involves double penetration — one penis in the bum, another penis in the fanny at the same time. That would require extra rubbers, extra lube and presumably redundant birth control — all of which needs to be packed away in that little pouch.

by bitchuck August 31, 2024

drop the soap

An utterly hilarious Bob Rivers song parody of "Rock the Boat" (1973) by The Hues Corporation.

And no, it's all an urban legend. It's perfectly safe to drop the soap in the prison showers. It's just not safe to pick up the soap after... the jail showers are disgusting and you really don't want to know what's down there.

Ever since this prison term began
My tush has lived in fear of some big hairy man
And I'm nervous hanging out with these thugs and thieves
They're looking for a quiet place to corner me

I hope that I get out on probation
Before someone in that washroom gives me love deviation

So I'd like to know if
You get the notion
If I touch my toes will
You get the lotion
And I'd like to know when
You make a motion
And I'd like the guard to
Hear the commotion

Drop the soap
Don't drop the soap baby
Drop the soap
Not safe to bend over
Drop the soap
Don't tap my butt, bubba
Drop the soap...

by bitchuck October 22, 2023

The fleas of a thousand Kamalas

An ancient Arabian curse which has dogged the Trump party and which will continue to do so effectively and lethally.

The curse that Arabia invoked to defeat Trump's basket of deplorables:

"May the fleas of a thousand Kamalas infest your groinal area,

and may your tiny hands be too inadequate to scratch."

by bitchuck November 1, 2024

Hooker

An adept marketer and proponent of the Love Canal.

Generally toxic. You do *not* want to know where that has been.

I tried to elope to Niagara Falls to marry a Hooker. My family disowned me.

"Why are you going to that toxic dump?", they asked. "Nothing good will ever come of this."

by bitchuck May 27, 2025