bachelor bob's definitions
A country so archaic, illiberal, and self-defeating that it had to rename itself in order to stop giving turkeys a bad name.
Don't insult turkeys -- relatively intelligent and beautiful birds -- by associating them with Türkiyes. If you need an appropriate comparison, think of 'Sand Russians' when you think of Türkiyes.
by Bachelor boB June 2, 2022
Get the Türkiye mug.When a woman momentarily possesses the mental state of a man (i.e. pays attention and thinks rationally). This is apparently a novel state for most First World women, nearly akin to achieving orgasm.
In a moment of mindfulness, I put down my Danielle Steele novel and felt a wave of despair and suicidal thoughts, suddenly seeing my life for the pointlessly hollow shell of consumerism that it is. Then I downed a mimosa and admired my nails until the clarity passed.
by Bachelor boB July 11, 2021
Get the mindfulness mug.A category of fatality invoked during, and due to, the self-taking of a photograph. Like a 'Darwin Award' recipient, but a true event.
Did you hear about the couple's fatal fall in Yosemite National Park while taking a cliff edge photo in October 2018? Just another case of natural selfielection.
by Bachelor boB October 31, 2018
Get the natural selfielection mug.malk
noun
Any milk alternative made from a non-dairy source (e.g. soy, rice, oats, spelt, bulgar, hemp, coconut, almond, cashew, hazelnut, macadamia, pistachio, sunflower, etc.). Since the National Milk Producers Federation is trying to convince the Food and Drug Administration to outlaw the labeling of any product as "milk" that does not come from a mammary gland, a new name is needed. And since humans should not be drinking liquid from any mammary gland other than a human's, "malk" is definitely the healthiest and least gross choice after a person is weaned.
noun
Any milk alternative made from a non-dairy source (e.g. soy, rice, oats, spelt, bulgar, hemp, coconut, almond, cashew, hazelnut, macadamia, pistachio, sunflower, etc.). Since the National Milk Producers Federation is trying to convince the Food and Drug Administration to outlaw the labeling of any product as "milk" that does not come from a mammary gland, a new name is needed. And since humans should not be drinking liquid from any mammary gland other than a human's, "malk" is definitely the healthiest and least gross choice after a person is weaned.
Mom: "Do you want whole or chocolate milk on your Frosted Flakes?"
Son: "Seriously?! Do I look like a calf or are you just trying to make me diabetic? I'll take hemp malk on my organic, non-GMO, fair trade muesli, thank you very much."
Son: "Seriously?! Do I look like a calf or are you just trying to make me diabetic? I'll take hemp malk on my organic, non-GMO, fair trade muesli, thank you very much."
by Bachelor boB January 3, 2017
Get the malk mug.|ˈfrāvən|
n. compound word derived from 'fake' and 'raven,' the later term used to label naturally black hair on the rare person whose ethnicity does not dictate black hair color (e.g. Celtic, Southern European, and Baltic). This distinctly differs from an ethnicity that does dictate black hair (e.g. African, Asian, and Native American). Ergo, fraven is artificially black hair on someone who could potentially have naturally black hair. Term is gender neutral.
Most often found on emo and goth individuals. Intended as a counter-culture statement against flonde (fake blonde) and the accompanying mindset / disposition. Those with fraven hair virtually never grasp that fake hair color cannot be a true antithesis to another fake hair color. As artificially colored hair now makes up ~97% of all American females between the ages of 12 and 65, the truly counter-culture hair color is actually 'natural.'
n. compound word derived from 'fake' and 'raven,' the later term used to label naturally black hair on the rare person whose ethnicity does not dictate black hair color (e.g. Celtic, Southern European, and Baltic). This distinctly differs from an ethnicity that does dictate black hair (e.g. African, Asian, and Native American). Ergo, fraven is artificially black hair on someone who could potentially have naturally black hair. Term is gender neutral.
Most often found on emo and goth individuals. Intended as a counter-culture statement against flonde (fake blonde) and the accompanying mindset / disposition. Those with fraven hair virtually never grasp that fake hair color cannot be a true antithesis to another fake hair color. As artificially colored hair now makes up ~97% of all American females between the ages of 12 and 65, the truly counter-culture hair color is actually 'natural.'
Bob: "I see y'ur little girl's hair has darkened from Disney blonde to a boring, unsexy, natural brunette. How long b'fore her 'friends' convince her to turn herself into a flonde or a fraven?"
Paul: "Since her mother is not shallow enough to artificially color her hair and we promote education, not appearance, our daughter does not have any counter-productive role models."
Bob: "What're you, a terrorist? You tryin' to destroy A'murica?!"
Paul: "Since her mother is not shallow enough to artificially color her hair and we promote education, not appearance, our daughter does not have any counter-productive role models."
Bob: "What're you, a terrorist? You tryin' to destroy A'murica?!"
by Bachelor boB December 29, 2015
Get the fraven mug.colloquialism
In India, all litter, urine, and feces eventually makes its way into the rivers, thanks to a complete lack of waste collection and water treatment, much like pre-20th Century Europe, USA/CAN, etc. Indians know this, but try not to/do not think about it, especially when 'cleansing' themselves by 'bathing' in the brownish-grey, litter and sewage filled 'sacred' waters of the Ganges/Ganga, which they further pollute with religious offerings (i.e. decorative litter) and dead bodies (not an exaggeration). Such (willful) ignorance eventually bites everyone in the ass. Ergo, any flagrant environmentally damaging human behavior can be lumped under the colloquialism 'blessing the Ganges.'
In India, all litter, urine, and feces eventually makes its way into the rivers, thanks to a complete lack of waste collection and water treatment, much like pre-20th Century Europe, USA/CAN, etc. Indians know this, but try not to/do not think about it, especially when 'cleansing' themselves by 'bathing' in the brownish-grey, litter and sewage filled 'sacred' waters of the Ganges/Ganga, which they further pollute with religious offerings (i.e. decorative litter) and dead bodies (not an exaggeration). Such (willful) ignorance eventually bites everyone in the ass. Ergo, any flagrant environmentally damaging human behavior can be lumped under the colloquialism 'blessing the Ganges.'
Cop: "Seeing how your McDonald's bag and Bacon McDouble wrapper are still stuck to my windshield, you won't mind this citation for littering."
Dwayne: "Yo, that ain't trash. That's just me usin' my's Constitutional right to freedom of religion. I was blessing the Ganges, dolla' menu style."
Elizabeth: "Why are you coming back in from outside? I thought you went to the bathroom."
Elly-May: "There was too long of a line for the one stall, so I headed for the alley beside the bar and blessed the Ganges."
Thaddeus: "Um, was that used engine oil I saw you dumping into the storm water drain this morning when I was leaving for the farmers market?!"
Ted: "Naw, Cuz. I just used 10W/40 to totally bless the Ganges."
Dwayne: "Yo, that ain't trash. That's just me usin' my's Constitutional right to freedom of religion. I was blessing the Ganges, dolla' menu style."
Elizabeth: "Why are you coming back in from outside? I thought you went to the bathroom."
Elly-May: "There was too long of a line for the one stall, so I headed for the alley beside the bar and blessed the Ganges."
Thaddeus: "Um, was that used engine oil I saw you dumping into the storm water drain this morning when I was leaving for the farmers market?!"
Ted: "Naw, Cuz. I just used 10W/40 to totally bless the Ganges."
by Bachelor boB December 17, 2013
Get the blessing the Ganges mug.An utterance of encouragement to treat a person/thing as being one's permanent possession/property, free to be mistreated/misused, especially when both the encourager and encouragee know such not to be the case. Commonly done when loss/destruction of a partner/object is imminent, or when one does not take the partner's next partner/item's next owner into consideration.
Kris: I don't think it's going to work between Jamil and me. Our relationship seems so tenuous.
Paul: When you know it's all but over, bone it like you own it!
Andreas: I've been using Paul's car while he's on a 5-week hike, but I'm afraid that it's about to die of its own accord.
Booby: If it's on its way out anyway, bone it like you own it.
Paul: When you know it's all but over, bone it like you own it!
Andreas: I've been using Paul's car while he's on a 5-week hike, but I'm afraid that it's about to die of its own accord.
Booby: If it's on its way out anyway, bone it like you own it.
by Bachelor boB September 21, 2012
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