bachelor bob's definitions
malk
noun
Any milk alternative made from a non-dairy source (e.g. soy, rice, oats, spelt, bulgar, hemp, coconut, almond, cashew, hazelnut, macadamia, pistachio, sunflower, etc.). Since the National Milk Producers Federation is trying to convince the Food and Drug Administration to outlaw the labeling of any product as "milk" that does not come from a mammary gland, a new name is needed. And since humans should not be drinking liquid from any mammary gland other than a human's, "malk" is definitely the healthiest and least gross choice after a person is weaned.
noun
Any milk alternative made from a non-dairy source (e.g. soy, rice, oats, spelt, bulgar, hemp, coconut, almond, cashew, hazelnut, macadamia, pistachio, sunflower, etc.). Since the National Milk Producers Federation is trying to convince the Food and Drug Administration to outlaw the labeling of any product as "milk" that does not come from a mammary gland, a new name is needed. And since humans should not be drinking liquid from any mammary gland other than a human's, "malk" is definitely the healthiest and least gross choice after a person is weaned.
Mom: "Do you want whole or chocolate milk on your Frosted Flakes?"
Son: "Seriously?! Do I look like a calf or are you just trying to make me diabetic? I'll take hemp malk on my organic, non-GMO, fair trade muesli, thank you very much."
Son: "Seriously?! Do I look like a calf or are you just trying to make me diabetic? I'll take hemp malk on my organic, non-GMO, fair trade muesli, thank you very much."
by Bachelor boB January 3, 2017
Get the malkmug. A sexual partner used as exercise equipment, specifically for aerobic, standing, rear-entry penetration. To qualify, the penetrator must manipulate his partner's nipples.
co-worker: "Bob, you're looking fit."
Bob: "You bet! It's amazing what 10 minutes a day on my nipliptical does for the glutes."
Bob: "You bet! It's amazing what 10 minutes a day on my nipliptical does for the glutes."
by Bachelor boB May 19, 2007
Get the niplipticalmug. n. A person who is sexually attractive due to the entirely natural state of their body; the person's defining characteristic. Not intentionally masculine, feminine, or androgynous, as those labels are continuously redefined by each society. Rather, a person who is overtly real, unmodified, and physically defined only by their genes and their interaction with the environment.
adj. (of a person) sexually attracted to unmodified people.
• involving or characterized by sexual attraction to natural body image : hikersexual desire.
adj. (of a person) sexually attracted to unmodified people.
• involving or characterized by sexual attraction to natural body image : hikersexual desire.
Oh Shari. I just can't take it anymore. All society offers me are metrosexuals, poofs, prettyboys, armchair warriors, billboard cowboys, and emos. I'm gonna' thru-hike the A.T. in hopes of finding one of those dreamy hikersexuals. You know; a *real* man!
<beeeep> Hey Bob... just wanted you to know. I threw my trophy wife out yesterday. I got tired of waking up next to someone I didn't recognize or want until after she'd spent 3 hours putting herself together every morning. I quit my job, put my place on the market, and am headed for the P.C.T. to locate one of those backcountry hikersexual babes. You know; a chick with brown body hair, everywhere nature intends.
<beeeep> Hey Bob... just wanted you to know. I threw my trophy wife out yesterday. I got tired of waking up next to someone I didn't recognize or want until after she'd spent 3 hours putting herself together every morning. I quit my job, put my place on the market, and am headed for the P.C.T. to locate one of those backcountry hikersexual babes. You know; a chick with brown body hair, everywhere nature intends.
by Bachelor boB December 30, 2007
Get the hikersexualmug. A country so archaic, illiberal, and self-defeating that it had to rename itself in order to stop giving turkeys a bad name.
Don't insult turkeys -- relatively intelligent and beautiful birds -- by associating them with Türkiyes. If you need an appropriate comparison, think of 'Sand Russians' when you think of Türkiyes.
by Bachelor boB June 2, 2022
Get the Türkiyemug. A dysphemism for infatuation, specifically a man's for a woman. Used to express such extreme infatuation that the man would go to any length to please the woman in an attempt to enter into a relationship with her. Discovering "her" to actually be a transvestite or transgendered male and the heterosexual male then proceeding to perform oral sex on the "woman" is the quintessential example of extreme infatuation. This implies that any lesser requirement for a relationship is well within the man's willingness to provide.
boB: "Jacey is so hot, I'd suck her dick!"
Paul: "Yes, she has many fine qualities, but that's certainly beyond the pale."
boB: "Yeah, well, we'll see who taps that ass first."
Paul: "Ironically, that may be 'her' primary sexual orifice. Let's hope you can achieve copulatory success without resorting to such lengths."
boB: "Wa?"
Paul: "Yes, she has many fine qualities, but that's certainly beyond the pale."
boB: "Yeah, well, we'll see who taps that ass first."
Paul: "Ironically, that may be 'her' primary sexual orifice. Let's hope you can achieve copulatory success without resorting to such lengths."
boB: "Wa?"
by Bachelor boB January 7, 2011
Get the I'd suck her dickmug. Paul: "Yo Spammond, what happened to the latest 'love of your life'?"
Kris: "After I finally hit that shit, she somehow didn't seem so perfect anymore."
Paul: "Sounds like you nutted your way out of her VDF."
Kris: "After I finally hit that shit, she somehow didn't seem so perfect anymore."
Paul: "Sounds like you nutted your way out of her VDF."
by Bachelor boB January 18, 2012
Get the VDFmug. 1) any female who dresses as though she weighs 15-30 lbs. less than she actually does. Frequently sports an exposed roll of non-baby fat overlapping the waist of her pants and/or breasts unintentionally bulging out of bra cups.
2) any unacceptably unattractive female who would become acceptably attractive upon losing 15-30 lbs.
2) any unacceptably unattractive female who would become acceptably attractive upon losing 15-30 lbs.
I hooked-up with a plumpkin at the mall food court, hoping to gradually sweat the jellyrolls off of her. But once she had a man, rather than getting leaner and hotter, she just got lazier and bought bigger clothes.
by Bachelor boB July 29, 2008
Get the Plumpkinmug.