authoor's definitions

fortune crookie

When you crack your fortune cookie open, the fortune crookie takes your fortune and reads it first, so as to make the fortune theirs. Similar to the hamburglar, only with fortune cookies.

Legend has it that the first person to read the fortune, after the cookie has been opened, will own that fortune, unless the fortune is read aloud, by which the fortune becomes no longer valid.

When Fundo cracked his fortune cookie open, the fortune crookie ran past and grabbed the fortune out of the cookie before Fundo had a chance to read it.

by authOOr June 29, 2006

pencil pusher

One who sells pencils at the local street corner
or
One who pumps lead into bystanders.

Ticonderoga called the cops on Fundo for illegally selling pencils. Fundo was labeled a pencil pusher.

by authOOr June 27, 2006

Little Superstar

Infamous gang leader and a real killer. The retired dancer with moves like nobody's business. Some say he's a midget. Some say he's a kid. Some say he's a myth. Some say he's a legend. I say he's alive living in the middle of East Bumblefuck, but a little bit south of there.

Fundo: Have you checked out that Little Superstar popping and stopping?
Fundita: That indian midget?
Fundo: I hear he's not even indian at all.
Fundita: Then, what is he?
Fundo: Little Superstarian.

by authOOr October 16, 2006

trick door

A trick door is the door that you try to push open when you really must pull open, or a door that you try to pull open when you really must push open.

Fundo broke his wrist trying to push open the trick door that only opened by pulling.

by authOOr June 30, 2006

The Man

The man is a man who wishes to be The Man, and tries his hardest to be The Man by either doing what The Man has done, or saying he did what The Man has done.
In reality, there is only one man who is fated to be The Man, who if he becomes The Man before the age of 25, or if he does not survive until the age of 100, the world will crumble.

Fundo: I found out who the real The Man was, and lost respect for that pretend The Man.
Fundala: Really?! I don't even know who the pretend The Man is. Who's the real The Man?!
Fundo: Are you crazy?! Don't ask me that. I'll get killed for giving out information like that.

by authOOr August 8, 2006

towel pole

Another name for an erect penis. Only those with strong erections possess the skills to hang a towel off of their dinghy.

Bathtub Betty wanted to do some pole dancing, but Shower Sharpo wasn't strong enough to possess the towel pole.

by authOOr June 18, 2006

third string

A third string is the backup to your second string booty call hoe. Definitely unwanted, they're an easy and guaranteed lay.

Fundo's second string hoe was busy pig roasting, so Fundo called up his backup to his backupe. Though he didn't really dig her like that, he knew that she was a third string hoe and that anything goes.

by authOOr July 7, 2006