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authoor's definitions

dirtface

the feeling of dried up dirt, sweat, and/or sex juice on your face after a long day of hard work.
After a long day of hard work, Fundo got home and slept, only to find the Shroud of Fundo on his pillow when he awoke. He thought it was a message from the messiah, but it was really just his dirtface.
by authOOr June 27, 2006
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fortune crookie

When you crack your fortune cookie open, the fortune crookie takes your fortune and reads it first, so as to make the fortune theirs. Similar to the hamburglar, only with fortune cookies.

Legend has it that the first person to read the fortune, after the cookie has been opened, will own that fortune, unless the fortune is read aloud, by which the fortune becomes no longer valid.
When Fundo cracked his fortune cookie open, the fortune crookie ran past and grabbed the fortune out of the cookie before Fundo had a chance to read it.
by authOOr June 29, 2006
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detective

The person or persons who asks too many questions, wanting to know too much detail, especially when the detail is not necessarily essential to the conversation.
Friend: Hey Fundo, wanna hang out with me and a couple of chicks tonight?
Fundo: I can't. I got a hot date tonight.
Friend: What's her name?
Fundo: Lacy.
Friend: Where you taking her?
Fundo: Damn, man. Who are you? The fuckin' detective?!
by authOOr June 26, 2006
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"In The Pen" Dance Day

July 4th. The day, in prisons nation-wide, where each crew picks a person from their team, and dukes it out to decide which crew fairs strongest.
Fundo committed crimes on July 1st to get locked up so that he could celebrate "In The Pen" Dance Day.
by authOOr July 4, 2006
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grind test

The test where the woman grinds on a male to see if he is fit for mating.
Melba rubbed on Fundo's lap in the office to see if he was worthy of her tacos. Fundo passed Mella's grind test.
by authOOr June 29, 2006
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pimple

Also known as a baby pimp, or a young individual growing up, learning the ways of the pimp.
Gumby, the pimp of all pimps, started out as a pimple, and grew up to become a pimp.
by authOOr June 18, 2006
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assistance

When one needs assistance, they need sex.
Fundo needed assistance, but with no females handy, his right hand had to become handy.
by authOOr June 23, 2006
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