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argonak's definitions

The Rack

noun:

A device to which a victim is strapped by their hands and feet, and then they are stretched opposite ways, so as to cause the dislocation of several body parts, and eventual tearing of the body.
The Rack can also be used to relieve back pain.
by Argonak April 12, 2008
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pistol rape

Just as pistol whipping implies the use of a pistol to whip a person, pistol raping involves the use of a pistol to sexualy violate a person.

Pistol rape can be carried out in several ways, and most involve the victim's orfices being penetrated in one way or another.
Phillip: "As long as I had him at gun point, I thought that I might as well pistol rape him."

Rodion: "Cool."
by Argonak April 13, 2008
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backdoor sledgehammer

This can mean many things, all of which are (as the name implies) destructive to the recipient's anal opening.

Noun: Something which is used to inflict massive anal damage (broomhandle, monster dildo, armadillo, shoe, etc.)
Noun: The actual technique of using a tool (as described above) to pound the victim's anal opening into submission.
"After being tied down to prevent escape, the man was given a thorough backdoor sledgehammer."

"I will use this lampshade as a backdoor sledgehammer if you come near my house again."
by Argonak October 11, 2008
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Heretic's Fork

noun:

A medieval torture device which consisted of a two-sided fork which would be strapped to the victims neck so that any movement of the jaw caused extreme pain.

The victim was then forced to say the word "abiuro" which is latin for "I recant" or else they were hung or burned at the stake.

This device qualifies as a funkatron.
Tom: "I don't really think that god exists..."

Bill: "STFU or Im gonna tell the pope and he will strap a Heretic's Fork to your neck!"

Tom: "..."
by Argonak April 12, 2008
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Backdoor Pirate

noun:

1. A pirate whose preferred method of pillaging is though the backdoor.

2. Someone who engages in the giving of anal sex.

3. A common name for a hypothetical homosexual piece of pornography. However there is no evidence to suggest that there is either a movie or a magazine which has the words "Backdoor Pirate" anywhere in it.
#1:
Rodion: "I am a backdoor pirate."

Sarah: "Eeek!"

#2:
Joey: "HAahah I bet your dad stars in Backdoor Pirates 7!"

Rodion: "You fucktard...there's no such thing!"
by Argonak April 12, 2008
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funkatron

noun:

1. Something "funky" or "strange". Often used to describe an item with a purpose which is unknown or mysterious.

2. Occasionaly used to describe a person who exhibits "funky" or "strange" qualities.
#1:

Rodion pulls out a speculum.

Phil: "What is that funkatron?"

Rodion: "Let me show you..."
by Argonak April 11, 2008
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slipmeister

noun:

1. Literaly, a master of slipping. However, most often not associated with the act of slipping and falling, but rather the act of "slipping in" or "sneaking around".
The class had started 5 minutes ago, but Mr.Khoruzhenko slips into class undetected by the teacher.

A student whispers: "What a slipmeister..."
by Argonak April 11, 2008
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