Definitions by aquajerk/surly

Nickelback

when someone shits directly into your ear. Named after one of the world's worst bands, as anyone with good taste in music would have concluded

Friend: What's wrong?

Me: "Owww, my ear hurts. I was listening to the radio and got Nickelbacked. IT BURNS!!

Friend: Yeah, I know. I've been there, man. Let's get some GOOD music into that ear of yours right away.

Nickelback by aquajerk/surly December 27, 2011

simpleton 

someone who drives Chevys, drinks Budweiser, listens to Nickelback, votes Republican, and basically does absolutely NO thinking on their own, at all, just does/thinks/believes what advertising/media tells them.

My sister just got her third Dachsund and of course named it a people name: Charles; total lame yuppie-wannabe. And then Carl just bought a pickup truck, and of course it's a Chevy, his fourth one, cause he's an "All American", like the commercials tell him. He also had Nickelback blasting when he pulled up in it, and had a case of shitty Budweiser beer in the truck. God, my sister and my friend are both such a couple of simpletons.

simpleton by aquajerk/surly December 27, 2011

tackycardia 

A disorder characterized by one having the affinity to give too many overly-tacky holiday cards.

The last 3 Christmases, Jon sent me and everyone in the family a card which was composed of little more than the words "Ho,Ho,Ho." It is apparent that he suffers from tackycardia.

tackycardia by aquajerk/surly December 26, 2011

poopfacial 

similar to a standard cosmetic facial, instead using fecal matter as the medium on the subject's face rather than makeup, lotion, etc. A more thorough version of the Chocolate Mustache.

Joe got so wasted last night and was being such an asshole, that we had to give him a full poopfacial; the Chocolate Mustache simply wouldn't do.

poopfacial by aquajerk/surly December 18, 2011

Metallica 

A band among the pioneers of Metal in the 1980's who, although talented in the instrumental department, sucks as far as singing and lyrics go, and is very overrated. THUNDER...THUNDER...THUUUUUUNNNDDEEEEERRRR. How childish. A very large portion of their fan base includes guys between the ages of 30-40 years who still live with their parents and are not very intelligent. In my opinion, liking this band is excusable if you're a teenager in high school, but when you get older and still like them, I mean, really?

Highly immature 30 year old: Metallica rules!

Me: Yeah, I thought so, too. In HIGH SCHOOL! Then I grew up, and realized that they are just a bunch of wannabes who think they're badass but they're really not.

Metallica by aquajerk/surly November 5, 2011

alcosthesia 

the state of being "under", either passed out, blacked out, or both, due to excessive consumption of the recreational beverage ethyl alcohol.

Jim had no clue which of us drew dicks on his face last night, as he was under alcosthesia.

alcosthesia by aquajerk/surly November 3, 2011

poopface

the funniest insult ever. Was most common in elementary school, but was not as funny back then.

Sorry I'm so late. Drew wouldn't borrow me the car. He was being a poopface.

poopface by aquajerk/surly October 30, 2011