al benedict's definitions
Glib way of saying "There is a high probability that..." It doesn't make too much sense if you think about the way gambling odds work, but I didn't create it; I just report it.
Dimes will get you dollars that his car will break down before he gets there.
Dimes will get you dollars that she doesn't really want to change jobs.
Dimes will get you dollars that she doesn't really want to change jobs.
by Al Benedict June 30, 2021
Get the Dimes will get you dollarsmug. When your email address is chosen as the lucky winner in the contest held by a spammer to determine which email address will be used for the day's, ahem, First Amendment protected free commercial speech. The end results is hundreds if not thousands of bounced messages.
by Al Benedict October 1, 2008
Get the Spamburstmug. A bruise that consists of an inner white circle (dead skin) surrounded by a blue ring (regular bruise) surrounded by a red ring (pissed off capillaries).
Red, white and blue. Get it?
A badge of honor in close contact, high velocity sports like Racquetball.
Red, white and blue. Get it?
A badge of honor in close contact, high velocity sports like Racquetball.
by Al Benedict October 18, 2020
Get the patriot bruisemug. Bob: What did you have for dinner?
Bill: Scottish food.
Bob: Sounds delicious. Haggis?
Bill: No. They have this dish where the put different round slices of a specially processed beef inside pieces of bread with an orangy, pinky sauce. Then they take potatoes and cut them up into long thin pieces and cook them in a specially prepared oil bath.
Bob: Sounds delicious! Invite me next time.
Bill: Scottish food.
Bob: Sounds delicious. Haggis?
Bill: No. They have this dish where the put different round slices of a specially processed beef inside pieces of bread with an orangy, pinky sauce. Then they take potatoes and cut them up into long thin pieces and cook them in a specially prepared oil bath.
Bob: Sounds delicious! Invite me next time.
by Al Benedict July 29, 2013
Get the Scottish Foodmug. Describes someone who reacts to criticism by becoming quiet and withdrawn. As opposed to explosive, which means that they "explode" into anger.
Usually introverts are implosive and extroverts are explosive, but neither of those are a rule.
Usually introverts are implosive and extroverts are explosive, but neither of those are a rule.
by Al Benedict June 15, 2011
Get the implosivemug. Setting up your house to ward off long term ninja infestations. It's considered impossible to keep ninjas out entirely. In fact, attempting to do so can attract their attention and just make the problem worse.
1) Coat the walls and ceilings with steel backed teflon. If the steel isn't thick enough, they can still use their claws. Make sure it's at least a 1/4 inch thick.
2) Install random rotating magnets. This makes it difficult to throw shurikens accurately.
3) Set up a DVD of old "Kung Fu" reruns in infinite reply. Warning: This may cause Seppuku incidents, which are really messy. Take my word on it. Spread plastic in front of the TV.
Avoid using pirates. I know it's tempting, but they're worse than ninjas (really loud and smelly and treasure chests are hard to find).
1) Coat the walls and ceilings with steel backed teflon. If the steel isn't thick enough, they can still use their claws. Make sure it's at least a 1/4 inch thick.
2) Install random rotating magnets. This makes it difficult to throw shurikens accurately.
3) Set up a DVD of old "Kung Fu" reruns in infinite reply. Warning: This may cause Seppuku incidents, which are really messy. Take my word on it. Spread plastic in front of the TV.
Avoid using pirates. I know it's tempting, but they're worse than ninjas (really loud and smelly and treasure chests are hard to find).
by Al Benedict December 3, 2010
Get the Ninja Proofingmug. A member of the species Homo Sapiens, esp. when being discussed in a way that only makes sense in an anthropological context. Popularized by Howard the Duck.
by Al Benedict October 2, 2008
Get the Hairless Apemug.