gypsy's curse

Male impotence; failure to achieve an erection. Classically blamed on a failure to buy pegs or lucky heather many years ago.

"Sorry love, I've got the gypsy's curse. It's like trying to get toothpaste back in the tube."

by Zog The Undeniable February 20, 2007

manjack

A turd so large that it contacts the bottom of the U-bend while still emerging from the unfortunate crapper's anus, causing him/her to be literally jacked up off the seat. There is a particular risk of manjack when using toilets of the curious German or Austrian design, which have the U-bend at the very front of the pan and a shallow "deck" for inspection of stools.

"How long are you going to be in there?"
"Sorry, got a bad case of manjack and I've run out of toilet paper".

by Zog The Undeniable February 20, 2007

Jade

In the UK, universally refers to Jade Goody, a runner-up on the reality TV show "Big Brother". Despite being apparently slow-witted, devoid of general knowledge and lacking in classical beauty, Goody has since made millions of pounds by appearing in celebrity magazines, diet videos (although it later transpired she had lost weight through liposuction) and the 2007 "Celebrity Big Brother", in which her reputation was severely damaged following alleged racism towards an Indian contestant.

Goody is something of a chav icon, proving that you can be a success in today's Britain despite having no talent, beauty or, in fact, any other endearing qualities.

Did you hear that Jade's pregnant again? Wonder who the father is this time?

by Zog The Undeniable February 22, 2007

woft

Acronym for "Waste Of Fucking Time". Very useful in the modern corporate environment.

That last meeting was a total woft.

by Zog The Undeniable January 23, 2004

mole at the counter

Precisely the same as turtle's head. To be in need of an imminent dump.

I'd love to stay and chat, but I've got a mole at the counter and he isn;t going to wait!

by Zog The Undeniable January 23, 2004

shit pump

A television. So named because its function is to deliver crap into your living room.

"Put the shit pump on, love. It's time for "Celebrity Big Brother" again."

by Zog The Undeniable August 16, 2011

Lexus lights

Rear lights for a car which incorporate separate coloured lenses for each lamp (e.g. tail, indicator, stop) with the rest of the cluster given a mirrored finish. First used by Lexus on the IS200 model and since copied by Mazda on most of its cars and chavs on low-rent vehicles such as Saxos and Corsas. Probably the fastest way to ruin a perfectly good supermini.

Lexus have wisely dropped this style of light from their new IS250.

Man, I gotta get me some of those Lexus lights for my chavmobile.

by Zog The Undeniable February 21, 2007