Zog The Undeniable's definitions

manjack

A turd so large that it contacts the bottom of the U-bend while still emerging from the unfortunate crapper's anus, causing him/her to be literally jacked up off the seat. There is a particular risk of manjack when using toilets of the curious German or Austrian design, which have the U-bend at the very front of the pan and a shallow "deck" for inspection of stools.

"How long are you going to be in there?"
"Sorry, got a bad case of manjack and I've run out of toilet paper".

by Zog The Undeniable February 20, 2007

three dick gob

Descriptive of a woman with a particularly wide mouth, such as Julia Roberts or Calista Flockhart.

"OK, she's no oil painting, but one look at that three dick gob and I go weak at the knees".

by Zog The Undeniable February 21, 2007

woft

Acronym for "Waste Of Fucking Time". Very useful in the modern corporate environment.

That last meeting was a total woft.

by Zog The Undeniable January 23, 2004

Easter island statue with an arse full of razor blades

Terminally po-faced, miserable, humourless. A term famously used by former Australian Prime Minister Paul Keating to describe former PM Malcolm Fraser.

"You look like an Easter Island statue with an arse full of razor blades."

by Zog The Undeniable February 21, 2007

mole at the counter

Precisely the same as turtle's head. To be in need of an imminent dump.

I'd love to stay and chat, but I've got a mole at the counter and he isn;t going to wait!

by Zog The Undeniable January 23, 2004

shit pump

A television. So named because its function is to deliver crap into your living room.

"Put the shit pump on, love. It's time for "Celebrity Big Brother" again."

by Zog The Undeniable August 16, 2011

gypsy's curse

Male impotence; failure to achieve an erection. Classically blamed on a failure to buy pegs or lucky heather many years ago.

"Sorry love, I've got the gypsy's curse. It's like trying to get toothpaste back in the tube."

by Zog The Undeniable February 20, 2007