Zog The Undeniable's definitions

mole at the counter

Precisely the same as turtle's head. To be in need of an imminent dump.

I'd love to stay and chat, but I've got a mole at the counter and he isn;t going to wait!

by Zog The Undeniable January 23, 2004

Easter island statue with an arse full of razor blades

Terminally po-faced, miserable, humourless. A term famously used by former Australian Prime Minister Paul Keating to describe former PM Malcolm Fraser.

"You look like an Easter Island statue with an arse full of razor blades."

by Zog The Undeniable February 21, 2007

woft

Acronym for "Waste Of Fucking Time". Very useful in the modern corporate environment.

That last meeting was a total woft.

by Zog The Undeniable January 23, 2004

shit pump

A television. So named because its function is to deliver crap into your living room.

"Put the shit pump on, love. It's time for "Celebrity Big Brother" again."

by Zog The Undeniable August 16, 2011

three dick gob

Descriptive of a woman with a particularly wide mouth, such as Julia Roberts or Calista Flockhart.

"OK, she's no oil painting, but one look at that three dick gob and I go weak at the knees".

by Zog The Undeniable February 21, 2007

Jade

In the UK, universally refers to Jade Goody, a runner-up on the reality TV show "Big Brother". Despite being apparently slow-witted, devoid of general knowledge and lacking in classical beauty, Goody has since made millions of pounds by appearing in celebrity magazines, diet videos (although it later transpired she had lost weight through liposuction) and the 2007 "Celebrity Big Brother", in which her reputation was severely damaged following alleged racism towards an Indian contestant.

Goody is something of a chav icon, proving that you can be a success in today's Britain despite having no talent, beauty or, in fact, any other endearing qualities.

Did you hear that Jade's pregnant again? Wonder who the father is this time?

by Zog The Undeniable February 22, 2007

Lexus lights

Rear lights for a car which incorporate separate coloured lenses for each lamp (e.g. tail, indicator, stop) with the rest of the cluster given a mirrored finish. First used by Lexus on the IS200 model and since copied by Mazda on most of its cars and chavs on low-rent vehicles such as Saxos and Corsas. Probably the fastest way to ruin a perfectly good supermini.

Lexus have wisely dropped this style of light from their new IS250.

Man, I gotta get me some of those Lexus lights for my chavmobile.

by Zog The Undeniable February 21, 2007