Striving to do Worstest

The absolute zenith of all possible bad outcomes as a consequence of consistently poor decision-making.

The US response to the Corona virus seems to be evidence that we're Striving to do Worstest.
and it ain't just the president...

by YAWA March 30, 2020

fear the car

The tendency for newer model 'intelligent' vehicles to, with increasing regularity and without warning, suddenly commandeer control away from the input of otherwise experienced, competent motorists.

So I'm backing out of the driveway. Ain't nuthin' behind us besides a fire hydrant and a garbage can. What does the 'smart car' do? Lock 'em fuckin' up! Spilled my drink all across my lap... bitch!

Fear the car...

by YAWA January 25, 2020

Turdventure

A well-planned vacation that turns to shit.

What's fuckin' next!? First we miss the connecting flight, then we must pull-drag our luggage through urine soaked streets; of course the hotel A/C is shot, we get 'the shits' from drinking local water and then the REAL Turdventure begins!

by YAWA October 05, 2019

penetration barrier pillow

An object placed between two individuals sharing the same bed in order to prevent inadvertent or unwanted nocturnal fornication.

Don't worry about us sleeping in the same bed, mom...we've got a penetration barrier pillow between us.

by YAWA October 05, 2017

herd stupidity

Having preference for the epidemiological condition resulting in reduction of airborne communicable disease transmission requiring 60-70 percent of a given, closed community to have acquired natural immunity to the infection at the expense significant mortality when targeted immunization protocols can achieve the same objective without inherent suffering.

COVID-19 infection? Get you some! Put away yer mask, gimme a high-five and let's party with the germs!
Ummm. I think I'll wait for the vaccine rather than jump on your herd stupidity train.

by YAWA November 17, 2020

asparagasp

An involuntary, defensive reaction resulting from unexpected exposure to highly offensive asparagus piss-odor.

Oh snap! I forgot about eating all of that damned asparagus at dinner. Got up to piss and was slammed in the face by the stank...asparagasp got me, bro!!

by YAWA June 02, 2018

I'm on COVID

The universally proffered excuse for failing to show up for work, meet a project deadline or generally suck at meeting the current demands of existence.

Wasn't that work product due 2 weeks ago?
Are you coming to work today?
Why is your mortgage payment 3 weeks late?
Universal response: Cain't, I'm on COVID.

by YAWA January 27, 2022