Uncle Kurtie's definitions

THREE HAND MAGIC

Its when you're receiving a little head from your newest chick, you're kicked back in the reclining position. All the sudden you realize that this is the GREATEST blowjob ever. It feels like she has three hands wrapped on your junk. The balls are warm, the shaft is being massaged in two directions, it's like heaven for your package!

Dude, I was half asleep when she started, by the time she was done with the three hand magic, I blew like a buffalo!

by Uncle Kurtie June 20, 2007

chum stick

It's when you've blown your load in her mouth and she's not quite finished with the chum. She begins rubbing the head of your unit across her lips like an over size chap stick, moaning for you to give her more!

Dude, she looked like she had dry lips, so I let her use my chum stick!!

by Uncle Kurtie June 22, 2007

heinous bush pig

A girl so big and nasty that there's no other term to describe her. Generally over 5'9", over 200 pounds and lacking in hygeine.

Dude, look at that heinous bush pig! I haven't seen one so rough since last week when you caught the clap!

by Uncle Kurtie November 9, 2006

ALL PRO COCK HAMMER

When your giant clam basher performs so well that your woman advertises to her friends causing your dance card to be full at all times.

She has a lot of little hottie girlfriends, so I gave her the all pro cock hammer! My phone hasn't stopped ringing !

by Uncle Kurtie October 28, 2006

limberger lumber

When a guy doesn't bathe, causing his cheese coated piss pipe to smell like a haunch of limberger!

Dude, you should tell your brother to bathe, I can smell his limberger lumber from here.

by Uncle Kurtie October 16, 2006

schmecho

It's the reverberating sound your nuts make against her ass when you're drilling your skank in a mens room stall.

Dude, you shoulda heard the schmecho tonite while I was bustin it with your sister in the can!

by Uncle Kurtie November 9, 2006

STUBBLE NUTS

Its when youre three days out from your last nut shave, and the stubble causes a rash on your partners chin and ass cheeks.

Beth: Maggie, what happned to your face?
Maggie: That goddamn Chuck has a bad case of stubble nuts, it's killin me!
Beth: Lets go buy him some edge gel or somthin'!

by Uncle Kurtie May 6, 2007