Uncle Kurtie's definitions

SKIM MILK TITTIES

Titties that look like two fried eggs nailed to a 2x4. More commonly referred to as " banana titties ". Generally found on women that you wouldn't fuck on a bet.

We were at the party, she took off her shirt and scared the shit out of the whole crowd with her gnarly skim milk titties.

by uncle kurtie November 14, 2006

THREE HAND MAGIC

Its when you're receiving a little head from your newest chick, you're kicked back in the reclining position. All the sudden you realize that this is the GREATEST blowjob ever. It feels like she has three hands wrapped on your junk. The balls are warm, the shaft is being massaged in two directions, it's like heaven for your package!

Dude, I was half asleep when she started, by the time she was done with the three hand magic, I blew like a buffalo!

by Uncle Kurtie June 20, 2007

tarantuknuckle

Its when the labia of your woman covers the panocha completely, it looks like the exposed fangs of the Congo Bird spider ( tarantula ). Looks very inviting until she sinks the fangs in to fuck your life to pieces.

Man, she has the greatest lookin tarantuknuckle I've ever seen, I hope it eats my dong.

by uncle kurtie December 29, 2006

limberger lumber

When a guy doesn't bathe, causing his cheese coated piss pipe to smell like a haunch of limberger!

Dude, you should tell your brother to bathe, I can smell his limberger lumber from here.

by Uncle Kurtie October 16, 2006

ALL PRO COCK HAMMER

When your giant clam basher performs so well that your woman advertises to her friends causing your dance card to be full at all times.

She has a lot of little hottie girlfriends, so I gave her the all pro cock hammer! My phone hasn't stopped ringing !

by Uncle Kurtie October 28, 2006

heinous bush pig

A girl so big and nasty that there's no other term to describe her. Generally over 5'9", over 200 pounds and lacking in hygeine.

Dude, look at that heinous bush pig! I haven't seen one so rough since last week when you caught the clap!

by Uncle Kurtie November 9, 2006

boss hogans

Boss Hogans are simply put " perfect titties " You know, the right shape, the right nips, the right size, the right perk. Very hard to find, especially in a matched set.

Whoa Chuck, look at those Boss Hogans! They're awesome! Tell your little sister to get some new shirts, she's grown since last summer!

by Uncle Kurtie May 31, 2007