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Tuna Wanda's definitions

church key

A beer can opener. Unfortunately, use of this instrument has declined since the pop top appeared in the mid 1960s.
Lolly and Harriet are bringing the beer. Don't forget to bring a church key.
by Tuna Wanda May 22, 2005
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dog

A canine pet owned by a person for fun and companionship. It is fed, loved, and cared for.

A canine working partner owned by a rancher to help herd animals. It is fed, loved, and cared for.

An animal companion who shares living space with a yuppie or a dink couple. It is spoiled rotton and treated far better than many people. It serves in lieu of a child, is never disciplined, and is the favorite topic of conversation.
Samantha and her dog walk along the river each day.
by Tuna Wanda May 14, 2005
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tit sling

Marissa went to Wal Mart to buy a new tit sling.
by Tuna Wanda May 15, 2005
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Thunder Buns

An affectionate name for a lady or gentleman who lets a great many binderfenders and dead badgers.

A prodigious farter.
Who do you have for third period English?

Mrs. Sweeney.

Oh, wow, you have Old Thunder Buns? I wish I was in there with you! It's gonna be a gas!
by Tuna Wanda May 30, 2005
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martini

A drink made with gin, vermouth, and an olive. Named after Martinez, California.
The good old bartender at Sweeney's
Is known for his ale and free wienies.
But I find him uncouth
To gulp gin and vermouth,
Chill the glasses, and piddle Martinis.
by Tuna Wanda July 18, 2008
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colored guy

A black African American.

A person who the liberals want to be kept in his place. As long as the colored guy works odd jobs, he will vote for liberals who will promise him entitlements. If a colored guy succeeds and does well in business, he will vote against liberals and their heavy taxes. Then, the liberals will call that colored guy Uncle Tom or Aunt Jemima.
Clarence Thomas is a colored guy hated by liberals because he doesn't want to be kept down on the plantation.
by Tuna Wanda May 14, 2005
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LSMFT

Luck Strike Means Fine Tobacco.
An old advertising slogan for a brand of redneck tobacco cigarettes.

Loose Straps Mean Floppy Tits.
An old expression used to explain the meaning of LSMFT.
Tommy Joe: Whoa there, Donny Bob! Look at that fine young lady bouncing around!

Buddy John: LSMFT!
by Tuna Wanda May 29, 2005
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