Tuna Wanda's definitions

Candy Ass

A spineless, indecisive sissy courted by democrats with the promise of entitlements and hate crime legislation. The group of candy asses includes prancing poofters, mama's boys, pantywaists, mush wimps, guys who drive chick cars, and residents of Berkeley, California.

That William sure is a Candy Ass. He is so spineless, he wants the government to wipe his nose and be responsible for his failures.

by Tuna Wanda June 5, 2005

shyster

The proper name for an attorney or a lawyer. A money-grubbing scoundrel who tries to save subhuman scum from execution, or who sues honest people who are trying to do their jobs.

It's very hard to win a lawsuit against you when you're against a big corporation with plenty of shysters.

by Tuna Wanda May 30, 2005

yuppie puppie

A day care brat. The spawn of a yuppie and a soccer mom. A child raised without its mother among many others of its kind. It has no manners, no discipline. If it is female, it is saddled with a name like Cassidy or Madison or Shropshire. If it is male, it never learns to be masculine.

Yuppie puppies are the future of America. Unfortunately, they are all going to be future yuppies and soccer moms and liberals.

Donald and Taylor have two female yuppie puppies named Chungus and Fiester.

by Tuna Wanda May 30, 2005

new age

An age when people who have had the marvelous blessings of living in a Judeo-Christian tradition, a free education, free libraries, and access to information, reject everything they have learned, and all of their common sense. They adopt the customs of people who live with cobras in the road, and pretend to believe in reincarnation. This leads to such preposterous principles as "meat is murder."

Who were you in your previous life, Rebekah?

Previous life?!! What do you think I am, a Hindu? A snake charmer? An ass-trologer? A New Age Yuppie? Come on, Rosemary, gimme a break!


New Age Yuppie: Don't take part in the rodeo! Meat is murder!

Cowboy: Get outta my way, you brainless New Age twerp! That steer sure as hell ain't MY grandpa!

by Tuna Wanda May 30, 2005

trendy

A sheep. A person without any self-identification or thoughts of her own. A person who does what the crowd is doing, out of insecurity and immaturity. A person who looks like everyone else because of an immature fear of being himself.

When you interview people for this job, be sure to weed out all the trendy people. I want someone who will work, not look in the mirror all day.

by Tuna Wanda May 30, 2005

skill

Talent or ability. Something employers do NOT want in a candidate. They want youth and perhaps an attractive appearance.

I spent 25 years developing my job skills, and can't find a job. The bosses only want inexperienced doofuses right out of college.

by Tuna Wanda May 30, 2005

thunderjugs

Very large, impressive breasts. The kind you write home about.

Oh, sweety?

Yes, dear?

Don't look at that girl over there.

Where? Oh, wow, you mean the one with the thunderjugs?

by Tuna Wanda May 30, 2005