UFO Alarm Clock

This knee charmer is often found in unique individuals with ties to super rich secret submarine service. Although known in military jargon as “foreign objects“, emergency surgery usually unearths armament shrapnel and pieces of snooze buttons from top quality alarm clocks. Still as mysterious as jimmy Hoffa’s disappearance, this enigma of a titillating experience is easily summarized as suspenseful supreme “pop” sensation and not for the feeble mortal, a UFO Alarm Clock is like kryptonite to Superman. If you ever run into someone who has experienced the rare UFO alarm clock, feel free to gift them only the best sour beers for a speedy recovery!

“Hey John, I heard about that UFO Alarm Clock”, you good bro?”

“Yeah man, nothing a good Sour Brew can’t fix”

by Torsiondrummer July 29, 2020

Peniurky

Peniurky. A penis turkey - the phallic shaped turkey is rarest among refrigerators decorated by innocent children who inadvertently design this pecker shaped body covered in feathers around the fall holiday season. Two larger feathers almost cocoon and slightly tear dropped shaped can mistakenly be seen as peniurky balls when the peniurky is flipped upside down. It is rumored this cock-a-doodle-do sounding cockalorum is cocksure confident and certainly cocky.

John: “Hey guys, have you seen this latest peniurky”?

“Oh my god Shelia, that is the biggest peniurky ever! It looks happy, but hungry”!

by Torsiondrummer September 30, 2018

Covid Casserole

A Covid Casserole is the vile and strategically neglected casserole at any potluck. Usually this noteworthy casserole looks worse than it tastes and is a gentle reminder no one is immune from the random processed “family recipe“ concoction of the 1960s market cookbooks. Normal people simply pass over and reject this Pooh-Pooh wrinkle with a synthetic smile. Still, heathens are brave enough and wolfish enough to take a deep breath, brace their stomach for full impact and prepare for a journey back in time! These semifinalist savages who risk scurvy are rest assured the porcelain god will stand tall and flush repulsive excrements as often as necessary to wash away such loathsome excrement.

“Is anyone trying Aunt Edna’s tuna filled jellied bouillon with frankfurter casserole from her secret cookbook”?

Uncle Charlie: “Hell nah! That Covid casserole isn’t fit for hobos”!

by Torsiondrummer December 10, 2023

Creeping Nukism

Sarcastic term used in the submarine fleet, mostly by forward submariners, to describe the slow takeover of aft “Nukes” and their nerdy engineering culture of nerdism. They over think everything and make life miserable and difficult, unless you’re a Nuke! Nukes are famous for being the golden children of the boat, exhausting procedural compliance to the Nth degree, a requirement culture of working near the reactor and engineering spaces. Besides finding their rack for sleeping or the mess decks for eating, these top tiered Nerds know nothing about the forward half of the boat, control spaces and weapons areas. Junior officers graduating to division officer jobs up forward, try “creeping-nukism” philosophy on such admired and prideful Torpedo Divisions, who put the smack down on such tomfoolery without prompting.

TMSN Shmuckatelli: “Chief, the Div-O wants me to make the weekly training to include a 100 question test, with a matrix for scoring, on a 7 vector scale, 3 calculus problems, a 5 part numbering system, an illustrated prt breakdown of 10 drawings, and definitions to require clinical laboratory expertise beyond normal automation to perform”.

TMC Ragan, “Dont get hoodwinked or bamboozled by the creeping nukism, they work harder to get out of work, instead of just doing the work.”

by Torsiondrummer November 12, 2023