34 definitions by TomKVideo

I will punch you in the tits

A phrase commonly used in the Mid-Atlantic bar scene to ward off mother hens trying to cock block.

Fat Chick: "No, Kerri, we need to go!"

Bar Patron: "Woman, I will punch you in the tits!"

by TomKVideo December 29, 2009

Jesus finish

When you come on a chicks tits when she is wearing some sort of crucifix. Bonus points if she licks it off the crucifix. Double bonus if it's on a Sunday.

Give her the Jesus finish. But wait until after midnight so it can be Sunday.

by TomKVideo September 29, 2009

deer haunches

Womens legs that are skinny in the calves -- and overly massive in the thighs. Can make for wild sex.

Sarah is rocking those fucking deer haunches.

by TomKVideo December 29, 2009

Kinko's

A great place to go to get a poster or banner sized blown up picture of your roommate's girlfriend sucking your dick.

Guy 1: "I'm going to Kinko's. I've got a poster to make before Thursday."

Guy 2: "Art project?"

Guy 1: "My roommates birthday. His girl and I got him a gift."

by TomKVideo September 29, 2009

conquest pound

When a tool and/or douchebag extends his closed fist in hopes of finding a similar closed fist to meet his in agreement.

Usually used after two to three light beers.

Usually in reference to a girl at a bar he hopes to talk to and show off his expensive bad tattoo he saw in a book -- and then copulate with.

Josh and Trevor move in close and notice three girls at the edge of the bar. Without saying anything, they look at each other with semi-homoerotic undertones and connect with a conquest pound.

by TomKVideo August 3, 2009

freakjacker

A dude who likes to whack it off to the really obscure shit in private.

So, according to Phil's internet history, he was looking for Jane Jetson, nipple-less girls, and salmon. All in the same 4 minutes. Freakjacker.

by TomKVideo April 14, 2010