Tochterlieber's definitions

Well, i'm glad you find this so amusing

A phrase that is never used literally, but rather is always a response to someone's laughing or poking fun at a problem the person has reason to be seriously concerned about. Sometimes this reproach is, itself, used in a half-amused, bantering way.

"The doctor said that I tested negative for cervical cancer, so I won't be at risk of infertility after all."
"Good to hear that it didn't render your reproductive organs totally out of cervix."
"Well, I'm glad you find this so amusing."

by Tochterlieber December 9, 2013

paperwork

Court documents revealing what a prisoner's charges, criminal history, downward departures, etc. are. This is used to determine whether a person is a snitch, child molestor, or other kind of person considered undesirable by other prisoners. The Presentence Investigation Report is the gold standard of paperwork, because it tells everything that the probation officer was able to dig up about the prisoner's life, and details any assistance he may have rendered to the government; but prisoners are often forbidden to have it in their possession for that exact reason. At higher security prisons, people are often expected to show their paperwork within a certain period of time (e.g. a week or a month) or they'll be checked in to protective custody by their fellow prisoners.

"Lemme see your paperwork."

by Tochterlieber March 19, 2014

parousing

Alternating between perusing and carousing around. Usually done with socia media, which often consists of a mix of light and serious posts. Parousing involves drinking plentiful amounts of alcohol and switching back and forth between (1) enjoying oneself with others in a noisy, lively way and (2) reading thoroughly or carefully.

Why am I parousing facebook at three in the darktime?

by Tochterlieber December 28, 2013

polyqueer

A catchall for polyamorous relationships and attractions with so many nuances that they can't be described in a short sentence such as "it's an open relationship" or "we're swingers" or "I want to have a stable of broads all to myself (i.e. a harem)". If the relationship would be described on Facebook as "it's complicated" then it's probably polyqueer.

"You guys are swingers, right?"
"Actually I'm in a polyqueer, ethically non-monogamous adelphogamous relationship with Jay and his brother Rob, both of whom also are part of a triad with their ambigusweetie Julia, when she is available under the terms of her geographical non-monogamous relationship with her husband Troy, who's serving in Iraq right now."
"Oh. So you're swingers, then?"

by Tochterlieber May 16, 2014

enhancement smoker

A person who smokes cannabis or other smokable drugs primarily to enhance other experiences (rather than simply for the "high" itself). Such individuals are less likely to enjoy merely smoking and sitting around doing nothing. This phrase was popularized by Jon Stewart's character in "Half Baked."

Enhancement Smoker: You ever see the back of a twenty dollar bill... on WEED?

by Tochterlieber June 26, 2008

acquaintancezone

Where you relegate people whose uninteresting posts clog up your social media feeds because they're in your "friends" circle.

"After about her 20th post this week bragging about her workout routine and the different health shakes she's trying, I had to put her in the acquaintancezone."

by Tochterlieber January 6, 2014

The french wave

A dismissive hand gesture that waves a person away, often impatiently or irritatedly. It is frequently made while not even looking at the person, who is usually someone who unwelcomely interrupted the conversation or activities of the person giving the french wave. A normal wave involves mostly motion of the arms and wrist pivoting from left to right; the french wave mostly involves motion of the fingers (which are held together) back and forth as though to say "shoo."

I tried to talk to him while he was watching soccer, and he gave me the french wave.

by Tochterlieber May 4, 2014