Tin Hat Kippah's definitions

Hock my China

Verb: "To be a pest, especially by going on and on about something (usually with "don't" or other negation)." A trans-lingual Mondegreen of the Yiddish phrase "hak mir nisht keyn tshaynik" (lit: "don't rattle me a tea kettle") meaning, figuratively, to quit complaining or beating a point to death.

Listen, we're not going to Disneyland this Summer and that's final, so suck it up and don't hock my China about it.

Chad, what happens again when you hock my China?
I get yelled at?
Exactamundo! So, knock it off and go watch TV.

by Tin Hat Kippah November 12, 2020

Kevlar Neck Gaiter

A metaphorical badge of loyalty usually referenced as an item of travel gear when visiting a good friend in a tight spot.

“I’m visiting my buddy in the Army next week but he’s stationed at a pretty wild post, you know, murders, kidnappings, war brides, that kind of thing; so, I’ll definitely be packing my Kevlar neck gaiter.”
“Jesus, where’s he stationed, Fallujah?”
“Nah, Fort Bragg.”

by Tin Hat Kippah December 9, 2020

Duolingoy

A non-Jew hired obliquely to do Duolingo on Shabbos for an observant Jew and thus allow her or him to maintain their streak. Coined on analogy with Shabbos goy.

Oy, the megillah to hire my Duolingoy was just verkakte. I had to stand there with a sad look on my puss and say "it's so unfortunate that there isn't someone out there who just wants to do Duolingo once a week to brush up their Klingon" over and over again until he took the hint.

by Tin Hat Kippah December 21, 2020

haimish

Quintessentially Jewish, especially in the sense of being homey or folksy. From Yiddish heymish/heimish, "cozy, domestic, home-like."

I've always thought of Fred Meyer as being a sort of haimish Walmart.

by Tin Hat Kippah December 5, 2020

Rockfuck

Verb: "To make false promises about what you can contribute, only to show up with with little or nothing." Noun: "One who does the foregoing (also, "rockfucker")." Refers to the idea of being particularly screwed over by an unfulfilled or exaggerated promise. Origin unknown but maybe inspired by formations like "ratfuck" and "assfuck."

"The Army recruiter we invited to Career Day said he'd bring a pack full of gear for the kids to look at, and then he rockfucked us and showed up with bupkis and a handful of pamphlets."

"Steve said he knew a guy who knew a guy and so there'd be at least two kegs at the party, but he rockfucked us big time and just showed up with a 12 pack of White Claw and a bottle of Cranberry Moscato."

by Tin Hat Kippah November 11, 2020

Shit in the mikveh

"To spoil an otherwise successful endeavor or to ruin an otherwise positive moment." A sort of haimish or heimish (i.e., Jewish-inflected) version of "turd in a punch bowl" or "turd in one's drink." A mikveh is a ritual bath used for purification and conversion in the Jewish tradition and, thus, shitting in one is strictly forbidden.

Me and my buddy were having a great morning shooting out on Forest Service land until a couple of noobs with zero target acquisition skills and good sense showed up and took a massive shit in the mikveh by sending a bunch of 5.56 across our baffles.

by Tin Hat Kippah December 5, 2020

Sentinel Beach Resort

An audible sigh coming immediately after plunking down on the toilet seat before a particularly loud dump. Typically preceding a shot across the bow and very awkward for one’s neighbors in the restroom. Origin unknown but perhaps an ironic reference to the initial sense of tranquility and peace felt by missionaries, anthropologists and other visitors to North Sentinel Island in the Bay of Bengal before hearing the initial volley of arrows.

It was bad enough my dad and had to use adjoining shitters at the rest stop on the way home but when I heard his Sentinel Beach Resort I knew I only had seconds to cover my ears before he opened fire.

by Tin Hat Kippah December 6, 2020