“We can’t tell you the pay scale for this job because we are well aware that this position pays low across the entire country, however, we will make it $0.05 above the average of all jobs across the board so we can refer to it as competitive. That’s right, this salary is so competitive that we’re not even gonna tell you what it is. Please apply for this position of our dying company so we can contribute to your sad depressed life and assist you in wanting to put a shotgun in your mouth.”
Job title: Cashier
We offer a competitive salary! Please, please, PLEASE become part of our “team” so that our CEO can continue to wipe their ass with $100 bills while we all continue to eat nothing but pasta.
We offer a competitive salary! Please, please, PLEASE become part of our “team” so that our CEO can continue to wipe their ass with $100 bills while we all continue to eat nothing but pasta.
by TheAlwaysCorrect1 December 31, 2022
Get the Competitive salary mug.1. 90 minutes maximum
2. Show up on time, but no earlier than 15 minutes.
3. Dress how you usually dress. Don’t wear a suit unless you’re coming from a meeting.
4. Have cash in your wallet. Not because you need it. Just trust me.
5. If you can’t afford to have cash in your wallet, you can’t afford a girlfriend.
6. Ripped jeans don’t look good
7. Have a reason to leave after 90 minutes. Make some shit up if you need to.
8. Don’t say you like something just because she does. If you despise it, don’t pretend to play along.
9. Bring a condom. You never know.
10. Just in case, have a Backup Call
2. Show up on time, but no earlier than 15 minutes.
3. Dress how you usually dress. Don’t wear a suit unless you’re coming from a meeting.
4. Have cash in your wallet. Not because you need it. Just trust me.
5. If you can’t afford to have cash in your wallet, you can’t afford a girlfriend.
6. Ripped jeans don’t look good
7. Have a reason to leave after 90 minutes. Make some shit up if you need to.
8. Don’t say you like something just because she does. If you despise it, don’t pretend to play along.
9. Bring a condom. You never know.
10. Just in case, have a Backup Call
Idk what to do for this date.
“Man, just review the first date regulations for men, that’s what they’re there for.”
“Man, just review the first date regulations for men, that’s what they’re there for.”
by TheAlwaysCorrect1 December 18, 2021
Get the First Date Regulations for Men mug.A thing gay people do when they “don’t want to make a big deal out of it” but then get offended when everyone else doesn’t “make a big deal about it”, throw them a party, and begin praising them as if they are a God
“Mom, dad, I’m coming out”
Good for you, son.
“WHAT???? THATS IT??? WHERES THE FUCKING CAKE?? YOU GUYS HATE ME IM GONNA KILL MYSELF”
Good for you, son.
“WHAT???? THATS IT??? WHERES THE FUCKING CAKE?? YOU GUYS HATE ME IM GONNA KILL MYSELF”
by TheAlwaysCorrect1 December 31, 2022
Get the Coming out mug.1. Busses that are early
2. Busses that are late
3. Busses that are on time
4. Busses that go fast
5. Busses that go slow
6. Transit operators who stop for a coffee
7. Transit operators that use the bathroom
8. Transit operators in general
9. Winnipeg Transit
10. Rain
11. Snow
12. Wind
13. weather in general
14. Winnipeg transit again
15. People who sit in seats
16. People who stand
17. People
18. Busses
19. Bus fare
20. Bus stops
21. Bus benches
22. Bus seats
23. Bus windows
24. Busses
25. People
26. Transit operators again
27. Winnipeg Transit
28. Probably yourself too
2. Busses that are late
3. Busses that are on time
4. Busses that go fast
5. Busses that go slow
6. Transit operators who stop for a coffee
7. Transit operators that use the bathroom
8. Transit operators in general
9. Winnipeg Transit
10. Rain
11. Snow
12. Wind
13. weather in general
14. Winnipeg transit again
15. People who sit in seats
16. People who stand
17. People
18. Busses
19. Bus fare
20. Bus stops
21. Bus benches
22. Bus seats
23. Bus windows
24. Busses
25. People
26. Transit operators again
27. Winnipeg Transit
28. Probably yourself too
by TheAlwaysCorrect1 January 11, 2023
Get the Things to hate if you use Winnipeg Transit mug.A hand towel (20”x40”) is folded in half lengthwise (to become 10”x40”) and placed on a flat surface. A latex glove is then placed on the towel, perpendicular to the long end, slightly extending ~1” past the end. The towel is then rolled up completely around the glove. The extending 1” of the glove is then peeled back around the rolled up towel and secured with elastics to secure in place. Lube is then added to the interior of the glove and then spend 10 minutes deciding which porn flick to yank off too.
What’s this thing beside your bed?
Mom, that’s my Forever Alone Satisfier.
…your what?
Just look it up on Urban Dictionary and then leave please. Ima use it
Mom, that’s my Forever Alone Satisfier.
…your what?
Just look it up on Urban Dictionary and then leave please. Ima use it
by TheAlwaysCorrect1 December 18, 2021
Get the Forever Alone Satisfier mug.You were great and I know it’s not your fault, but the rest of the staff made this experience unenjoyable
by TheAlwaysCorrect1 February 03, 2023
Get the But mug.by TheAlwaysCorrect1 January 29, 2023
Get the Ocular Rectal Fistula mug.