The coMANd'r's definitions

extortion abortion

When an extortion attempt turns in to an aborted mission

When an extortion attempt turns in to an aborted mission

Hub: dude, what even happened to the whole shit-show with Patricia?

Barney: you mean the voice memo threatening me with urban dictionary posts to get me fired?

Hub: ya, did you turn that voice memo in to the police and California Bar Association?

Barney: nah, from some reason she backed off after filing a bunch of anonymous complaints, essentially pulling an extortion abortion and not sure why. Oddly he switched is focus on Kat

Hub: ah, dousche defined

by the comand'r January 11, 2024

COVIDgilent

Keeping careful watch for possible danger driven by the COVID-19 Virus

Ken: Mom is freaked out about the COVID-19. She is scaring me because every time I cough, she is telling me we need to go to the drive-thru testing.

Barney: Ya, Mom is just being COVIDgilent about da rona to be protective of our family.

by the comand'r March 18, 2020

co-V-ed

The term used to identify mixed gender educational facilities in the COVID-19 pandemic. COVID-19 turns co-ed to co-V-ed.

Jill: Kat’s going back to college in August and the dorms are open.

Paige: Really?

Jill: Ya, she’s attending a CO-v-ED university. Back to school Fall 2020.

Paige: Make sure she remains COVIDgilent.

by the comand'r June 21, 2020

crossfade cocktail

A key move used by savvy drinkers where you have about one quarter of your cocktail left as you approach the bartender for your next, as not to go bone dry. Similar to the DJ crossfade smooth transition from one song to the next by turning the volume down on the first song as it ends and up on the new song as it begins.

Barney: Eric got toasted last night

Pablo: Ya, it was his birthday and he was full on with the crossfade cocktail. Never had an empty. Melissa kept Drew happy to with a stay-cup. It was a great party that resulted in no target vomiting.

by the comand'r October 22, 2022

squirt dirt

Diarrhea, same as blast mud, though typically a bit more dry.

Jimmy: Gru, that Thai food is hitting me - I gotta use your crapper.

Gru: Man, iff you gotta squirt dirt, use the downstair bathroom - more tp than in the upstairs shitter.

by the comand'r October 10, 2016

no pants month

April 2020: COVID-19 Shelter In Place. Nuff said.

Ted: Yo, how is your work from home policy working for you?

Chris: No Pants Month. Digging it. Avoiding the boomer remover and the wife is staying COVIDgilent. Molly and I may actually work on some corona boomers. Wish me luck.

by the comand'r March 21, 2020

Heat seat

The uncomfortable situation when using a toilet and the seat is warm from the previous user.

Brendan: I was at work early this am and hardly anyone was in the office, though when I went to take a dump, I found the seat was warm.

Frank: Man, what are the odds. There are four stalls and you chose the one with the heat seat.

Brendan: ya, not great way to start my day. I was simply finishing my coffee.

by the comand'r October 15, 2016