The coMANd'r's definitions

shit gravy

diarrhea

Paige went to Cabo last weekend and had a blast, no pun intended. Loved the food, but ended up making shit gravy because if it.

by the comand'r September 20, 2018

Heat seat

The uncomfortable situation when using a toilet and the seat is warm from the previous user.

Brendan: I was at work early this am and hardly anyone was in the office, though when I went to take a dump, I found the seat was warm.

Frank: Man, what are the odds. There are four stalls and you chose the one with the heat seat.

Brendan: ya, not great way to start my day. I was simply finishing my coffee.

by the comand'r October 15, 2016

fumpire

Short for "f-ing umpire" or a lame umpire/referee who makes poor or one-sided calls in a game, especially against your team.

That fumpire is horrible. If he had another eye, he'd be a cyclops!

by the comand'r October 3, 2013

masktake

A mistake when wearing a mask. Typically associated with consuming alcohol.

Amie felt like such a fool when she caught herself sucking down her 3rd margarita when her mask was still up. She was just being Covidvgilent by pulling her mask up in between sips like she has been conditioned to do - masktake... Although she kept drinking. Drew poured her a stay-cup

by the comand'r February 14, 2022

squirt dirt

Diarrhea, same as blast mud, though typically a bit more dry.

Jimmy: Gru, that Thai food is hitting me - I gotta use your crapper.

Gru: Man, iff you gotta squirt dirt, use the downstair bathroom - more tp than in the upstairs shitter.

by the comand'r October 10, 2016

no pants month

April 2020: COVID-19 Shelter In Place. Nuff said.

Ted: Yo, how is your work from home policy working for you?

Chris: No Pants Month. Digging it. Avoiding the boomer remover and the wife is staying COVIDgilent. Molly and I may actually work on some corona boomers. Wish me luck.

by the comand'r March 21, 2020

townhousehold name

Not an A-list celebrity, but a B-lister or below. Jules Dash is closer to an A-lister than Carolla can ever be.

Barney: I saw Jimmy Kimmel the other day walking down the street, and believe it or not, about 20 minutes later I saw Adam Carolla in the Ralph’s a couple blocks away.

Ken: Jimmy is an A-list celebrity and a household name, but I don’t know who Adam Carolla is.

Barney: Man Show.

Ken: Oh ya, Carolla is just a townhousehold name…

by the comand'r July 6, 2021