The Original Slim Bavis's definitions

censorship

Well, I guess UrbanDicktionary isn't going to let me define PG anymore. They fucking removed a definition that had been up for a year. How about this: underage pussy doctor. You can't censor that. Who's underage? The doctor or the pussy? And what's underage? Under 40? Under 25? Assholes. You let half-literate douche bags define "Punk'd" for fuck sakes. C'mon "Punk'd?" At least fucking spell it right. I'm fucking out of here, c'mon Carl let's go eat fried chicken.

Censorship is a terrrible, terrible thing invented in the fall of 2003 to keep the thoughts and zingy, one-liners of Ben Edelman from reaching the public. People who vote for George W. Bush and who secretly touch small, woodland creatures in no-no places support censorship. God it's great to drink in the morning.

by The Original Slim Bavis April 1, 2005

Crown's Disease

A medical malady where the sufferer constantly has feces nearly protruding from the anus. The poo has yet to be "pinched off" or broken away from the remainder of the turd still inside the rectum. Some call this condition "turtle heading" or simply "crowning" (a reference to the birth process). Much research has gone in to curing this terrible disease but as of now only symptoms can be treated. Such treatments include adult diapers, stool hardeners and stool softeners.

Crown's Disease can effect both undergarment and odor masking budgets for any and all sufferers.

Ultra Dan: Man, I hate those David Garrard commercials where he bitches about his Crohn's Disease. That ain't nothing. I got Crown's Disease.

Salty: That sucks, man, constantly touching cloth. What's your underwear budget for a year?

by The Original Slim Bavis January 8, 2009

Pink Socrates

Any individual who uses philosophical debate to persuade someone to sumbit to anal sex. The individual can then perform the "pink sock" manuver wherein the sides of the posterior are struck while something is inserted into the anus. This causes the anus to spasm and "attach" itself to the inserted item. The item is then rapidly removed from the anus causing the rectal lining to be pulled out with it. Hilarity ensues when the item is covered with a nice, new "pink sock".

Yo, man, Salty is the new Pink Socrates. That guy ass-banged two chicks last night and totally pink socked them. Jaime Smith and Darren's mom aren't going to be shitting right for weeks!

by The Original Slim Bavis October 27, 2004

Crown's Disease

A medical malady where the sufferer constantly has feces nearly protruding from the anus. The poo has yet to be "pinched off" or broken away from the remainder of the turd still inside the rectum. Some call this condition "turtle heading" or simply "crowning" (a reference to the birth process). Much research has gone in to curing this terrible disease but as of now only symptoms can be treated. Such treatments include adult diapers, stool hardeners and stool softeners.

Crown's Disease can effect both undergarment and odor masking budgets for any and all sufferers.

Ultra Dan: Man, I hate those David Garrard commercials where he bitches about his Crohn's Disease. That ain't nothing. I got Crown's Disease.

Salty: That sucks, man, constantly touching cloth. What's your underwear budget for a year?

by The Original Slim Bavis January 8, 2009

sub-ham, minus ham

A frequently occurring event wherein, something is inserted into the vagina (a finger, a tongue, a GI Joe doll, etc.) and something else is lost on the way out (a ring, a condom, a fake mustache, Snake Eyes' kick ass Uzi, etc.).

Damn, Civilian, I was finger-banging Kalea last night and I pulled a sub-ham, minus-ham and lost my class ring. I hope Jostens refunds my money, yo, that shit had the Chandler High wolf on it!

by The Original Slim Bavis October 26, 2004

It's Rather Hard for a Deaf Woman to Hear an Assassin Coming

A phrase to be implemented, usually from one bloke to another, when a man can overcome the suspect defenses of a witless woman and cajole her into coitus.

Shawn: "Hey man did you make any headway with that Potbelly cashier?"
Slim: "Headway? I totally banged her. It's rather hard for a deaf woman to hear an assassin coming."

by The Original Slim Bavis March 31, 2005