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The Original Agahnim's definitions

Joan Rivers route

Becoming everything you made fun of yesterday. A life where smiling was once easy, but becomes harder and harder while cynicism grows as the end gets closer and closer, and the reality that nobody will miss you when the end does get here sets in.
The bubbly girl went the Joan Rivers route through life, and the more she started to practice everything she once preached against, the more she tried to change reality from what ot was into a new one. It got harder and harder to respect her as she got older (though nobody really did have much respect for her if any before anyway).
by The Original Agahnim June 23, 2021
mugGet the Joan Rivers routemug.

Poseur

Someone more desperate than anybody to prove to others that they are a wonderful, colorful person.
The poseur worked hard at being loose all her life, so that people would like/love her. She always said she didn't care what anybody thought, or preached to everyone about how they should all be themselves and stop trying to prove they were good people, but really she was more desperate than anybody to convince others she didn't care what anybody thought. There were those of them that could see through the rungs in her ladder, as she could see through the rungs in theirs.
by The Original Agahnim November 2, 2021
mugGet the Poseurmug.

Misinformer

Not everybody becomes an informer to a government official, since not everyone has a path to power on their mind.
The misinformer girl would laugh about what happened with the governor when she wasn't on camera or in front of a crowd, but would put a serious poker face on when she was talking in detail about everything she claimed the governor did to her.
by The Original Agahnim August 3, 2021
mugGet the Misinformermug.

Elf hats

Something that makes anything seem harmless even if it really isn't.
Emperor Judge- Would you like firing squad, hanging by the neck, or getting sawed in half by two midgets wearing elf hats?

First convict (with all the menacing humorless brevity he can muster)- I'll take firing squad, I'm firing squad hard. I was born a marine, so I don't have to actually join the armed forces to be what I'm destined to be.

Emperor judge- Okay, you got it, firing squad it is for you.

Emperor judge to second convict- Would you like firing squad, hanging by the neck, or getting sawed in half by two midgets?

Second convict- I've always been a roughneck, so I'll take hanging by the neck to show em' even if I die, I can still hang.

Emperor judge- Okay, we will hang you, it should be fun!

Emperor judge to third convict- What about you, do you want firing squad, hanging by the neck, or getting sawed in half by two midgets wearing elf hats?

Third convict- I'll take getting sawed in half by two midgets wearing elf hats for 5,000 Trebek!

Emperor judge- I don't think I've ever met a convict so eager to die. Before you start thinking this is going to be funny, you do know how long it is actually going to take two midgets to cut you in half and split you don't you? They have to reciporicate about four times for every one time a regular person has to do it, it's not going to be fun for you, but I'm going to order a feast to watch my favorite kind of execution.
by The Original Agahnim November 27, 2021
mugGet the Elf hatsmug.

Unrealistic expectations

Expecting somebody to find and do something impossible.
The teenager commited suicide due to unmet unrealistic exectations by someone in his family. Unrealistic expectations are the kind where somebody is really never going to be good enough, even if they did something impossible, then they went on and did a thousand more impossible things.
by The Original Agahnim July 25, 2021
mugGet the Unrealistic expectationsmug.

Malibu's Most Wanted

A satire/parody about the life of a white hip hop legend named B-Rad that lives in the basement of a mansion.
Don't you miss Malibu's Most Wanted?
by The Original Agahnim November 12, 2021
mugGet the Malibu's Most Wantedmug.

Unvaccinated

Not meeting Joe Biden's standard for intelligence.
You are not the genius Joe Biden thought you were if you are still unvaccinated. Oh well.
by The Original Agahnim July 28, 2021
mugGet the Unvaccinatedmug.

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