Skip to main content

The Gonzo Lecture's definitions

Autumn Courtesy Flush

A process carried out by university administrators in the Autumn term which involves shedding students who don't turn up regularly to classes to ensure they aren't charged fees and become an unnecessary financial burden to the institution. This is performed by the student being summarily "deregistered" on the grounds that they are "inadequately engaged" on their programme of study. As a result, students find they are suddenly unable to submit coursework or access any university facilities whatsoever, thus providing proof that they are indeed no longer engaged.
Chris the student: Hey professor! Why can't I submit coursework or access any online library facilities in order to complete my term papers?

Professor: You've probably become an unwitting victim of the most recent "Autumn Courtesy Flush."

Chris: What's that?

Professor: You've been deregistered because you haven't been coming to class.

Chris: My God! But if I can't submit assignments I'll fail the year.

Professor: Yes, well you should have thought of that, shouldn't you? Anyway, good luck with your career.
by The Gonzo Lecture April 18, 2010
mugGet the Autumn Courtesy Flush mug.

Ink Rape

When your tattoo artist does something to you without your permission.
Jase the Needle: So Chaz, tell me how you like your tattoo...

Chaz the victim: Fuck! What the hell is that? What have you done?!!

Jase the Needle: That's ink rape, my friend, pure and simple.
by The Gonzo Lecture April 18, 2010
mugGet the Ink Rape mug.

needle choir

A pleasant crescendo caused by the multiple sounds of tattoo artists' needles in a tattoo studio.
Jase the Inker: Isn't that a pleasant sound to the ears of the needle choir?

Customer: Ah fuck, watch what you're doing, that really hurts you fucker!
by The Gonzo Lecture April 18, 2010
mugGet the needle choir mug.

Swamp Fart

A release of gas from the anal cavity renowned for its particular moistness and pungent odour. Unlike a normal fart, and other categories of cruel fart, the swamp fart is distinct in a number of important respects. It is formed by poorly-digested vegetable or fruit matter incubating in the colon for an extended time period. This results in an uncomfortable build-up of methane gas, which when combined with semi-liquid foodstuffs, produces a wet fart sound when omitted. This is often confused with a pudding fart due to its bass timbre. However, a swamp fart is so foul smelling that it causes an immediate gagging response from those nearby. Commonly, those responsible for swamp farts quickly vacate the environments contaminated by their own farticles both to avoid blame and to check their undergarments for undesirable debris, often referred to as fart sauce.
Kimi and Chaz are sitting in their local pizza restaurant.

Kimi: Was that you Chaz? God that stinks!

Chaz: (Sniggers) Sorry love, I just produced an impromptu swamp fart. Better out than though, I can tell you!

Kimi: You're disgusting Chaz! Shall we order now?

Chaz: No...I have to go to the bathroom. I think I might have fart sauce in my shorts...
by The Gonzo Lecture March 3, 2010
mugGet the Swamp Fart mug.

Gonzo Lecture

A university lecture characterised by a replacement of the more formal yet boring teaching methods advocated by teacher training colleges and academic managers by insane sounding rants in which the lecturer replaces dry subject matter with their own uncomfortable, personal truth. Based on Hunter S. Thompson's particular brand of gonzo journalism, the Gonzo Lecture is characterised by first person point of view run wild and an oft-indistinguishable fusion of real-world facts and fictional confabulation. The gonzo lecturer may often combine their personal narrative style with contrived personal and often avant-garde anecdotes, expressions of angry disillusionment, foul language and other methods such as textbook throwing. Meta levels of thought are often subtly conveyed through homage to popular cultural symbols and controversial opinions with which the audience identifies. The objective of The Gonzo Lecture is to wake-up the audience to their own oppression by corrupt power systems through engaging them in personal reflection, prompted by their own discomfort. This reflection is designed to stimulate an aspiration on their part to rethink their self-concept as a channel towards personal change. The Gonzo Lecture, as part of the wider field of Gonzo Education is sometimes considered unprofessional by those not yet intellectually freed from the shackles of oppressive power.
Example 1:
Lecturer: This textbook on your required reading list is a piece of total fucking dog-shit! (throws the book into the lecture theatre to be fought over by the audience)

Student 1: This lecture is totally fucked up, man.

Student 2: Yeah...it's fuckin gonzo, dude.

Student 1: But that book IS totally shit, man.

Example 2:

Lecturer: So big corporations encourage you to volunteer in order that you can work for them for free in order that you can get good work experience for your CV so when you graduate you can get a good job with them, cos they already know you're a fucking gullible patsy who will serve them well for the future. Does that sound fucked up to you?

Student: (thinks...) Fuck, I volunteer for free all the time and never thought I was being taken advantage of. I love this Gonzo Lecture, it speaks truth.
by The Gonzo Lecture March 3, 2010
mugGet the Gonzo Lecture mug.

pedagogy

A word used by academics to confuse students and justify all manner of outrageous crimes against humanity in the name of education. It is primarily applied in situations when an academic requires the ability to smokescreen their own maladjusted intention and win unwinnable arguments with the minimum amount of effort.
Jane "Professor, I'd like you to explain to me why I got such a low grade."

Professor "Well I don't really have the time to explain the inner workings of pedagogy to you young lady. Even if i did, I'm not sure I could help you to understand."

Jane "Huh? What are you talking about?"

Professor "You see? Exactly."
by The Gonzo Lecture March 3, 2010
mugGet the pedagogy mug.

Work

The deceitful act of making oneself appear busy during office hours in return for payment.
I'd love to help with that important task, but I've got some other work I need to do.
by The Gonzo Lecture March 3, 2010
mugGet the Work mug.

Share this definition

Sign in to vote

We'll email you a link to sign in instantly.

Or

Check your email

We sent a link to

Open your email