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The Gonzo Lecture's definitions

Autumn Courtesy Flush

A process carried out by university administrators in the Autumn term which involves shedding students who don't turn up regularly to classes to ensure they aren't charged fees and become an unnecessary financial burden to the institution. This is performed by the student being summarily "deregistered" on the grounds that they are "inadequately engaged" on their programme of study. As a result, students find they are suddenly unable to submit coursework or access any university facilities whatsoever, thus providing proof that they are indeed no longer engaged.
Chris the student: Hey professor! Why can't I submit coursework or access any online library facilities in order to complete my term papers?

Professor: You've probably become an unwitting victim of the most recent "Autumn Courtesy Flush."

Chris: What's that?

Professor: You've been deregistered because you haven't been coming to class.

Chris: My God! But if I can't submit assignments I'll fail the year.

Professor: Yes, well you should have thought of that, shouldn't you? Anyway, good luck with your career.
by The Gonzo Lecture April 18, 2010
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Wednesday

A teaching day in the middle of the week designed by universities to ruin both weekends for academics.
Academic wife: Hey honey, come watch "Homes Under the Hammer" with me!"

University Academic: I can't babe, you'll have to Sky+ it. I gotta go to the campus, it's Wednesday
by The Gonzo Lecture March 25, 2010
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Ink Rape

When your tattoo artist does something to you without your permission.
Jase the Needle: So Chaz, tell me how you like your tattoo...

Chaz the victim: Fuck! What the hell is that? What have you done?!!

Jase the Needle: That's ink rape, my friend, pure and simple.
by The Gonzo Lecture April 18, 2010
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Academic Consultant

A grandiose windbag who bullshits for a fee. They can't do anything useful, so they enter teaching, but they find out they can't teach very well so they try to teach teachers, but the teacher they teach think they are tossers, so they become academic consultants.
Chas: Who the fuck is that grandiose tosser at the front of the room who keeps bullshitting?

Nick: He's what's called an Academic Consultant. Tosser.
by The Gonzo Lecture March 25, 2010
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Cum Catcher

A slang term for a woman. Considered by many (mostly women) to be a derogatory term used by people (usually men) to suggest a particular woman enjoys the practice of having men ejaculating semen into and onto various parts of her body.
"She's a real fucking cum catcher..."

"Here it comes, you fucking cum catcher!"
by The Gonzo Lecture March 3, 2010
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Work

The deceitful act of making oneself appear busy during office hours in return for payment.
I'd love to help with that important task, but I've got some other work I need to do.
by The Gonzo Lecture March 3, 2010
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Avatared

Refers to being stepped over and ignored with respect to one's rightful accolades. It's origin stems from the audacious treatment of the movie Avatar by the Oscar's Award committee in the 2010 ceremony when it picked up only 3 production related awards and lost out to another, much less grossing movie called Hurt Locker.
Dude 1: I can't understand why I never get promoted at work.

Dude 2: That's because you keep gettin Avatared.
by The Gonzo Lecture March 8, 2010
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