11 definitions by The Fig
An individual who chooses to defecate or urinate in the middle stall of a three stall format bathroom of either urinals, toilets or both, where one person is already on the outside stall/urinal.
Get this...I was just about to drop a deuce, cleaned the seat up and everything, and a Middle Man came in to shit right next to me! I could see the dude's feet and everything...think it's the freak from the auditors! I pulled anchor and left to crap later, I cannot take a dump while looking at someone's feet, I effing HATE that!
by The Fig December 30, 2011
This crazy rock-like substance that is "hard to get" without shedding a lot of blue blood (but not Blue-Blood) used in the movie Avitar to make smart, thinking people perseverate on this STUPID word for the entire film.
Can you believe those morons who wrote/directed such a creative film were unable to come up with a better word than "unobtainium?" Who came up with this, are they still finding work writing? Are they kicking themselves? What happened to words like kryptonite?
by The Fig February 1, 2010
DSM-IV
1) A condition wherein, a person who is an expert at a task, is forced to watch or teach a person who is horrible at the task move really really REALLY slowly. E.G., a luddite using a computer mouse for the first time. The person who is adroit at the task, slowly goes crazy watching the inept person trying to complete this simple thing, and wants to alternately strangle and choke them...but you'd never do such a thing.
2) When walking in a large city, with many pedestrians who are moving slowly, and are not self-aware, that block your path, don't walk straight, stop to take pictures of buildings, et cetera...and you...the fast walker, want to strangle and or choke them and move on...but you'd of course never do such a thing.
3) Anytime you're so pissed at someone or a pet, and you fantasize about strangling and choking them...even though you are so anti-violence that you're a vegan and a card carrying member of Amnesty International
1) A condition wherein, a person who is an expert at a task, is forced to watch or teach a person who is horrible at the task move really really REALLY slowly. E.G., a luddite using a computer mouse for the first time. The person who is adroit at the task, slowly goes crazy watching the inept person trying to complete this simple thing, and wants to alternately strangle and choke them...but you'd never do such a thing.
2) When walking in a large city, with many pedestrians who are moving slowly, and are not self-aware, that block your path, don't walk straight, stop to take pictures of buildings, et cetera...and you...the fast walker, want to strangle and or choke them and move on...but you'd of course never do such a thing.
3) Anytime you're so pissed at someone or a pet, and you fantasize about strangling and choking them...even though you are so anti-violence that you're a vegan and a card carrying member of Amnesty International
So I'm at my sister's, and holy shit, I effing wanted to strangle-choke her like six times! She's trying to find some pictures on her puter, and I'm showing her how to use Windows Explorer, and WOW, she's a total computer idiot! Finally, I just knocked her ass out of the chair and showed her what to do before someone (her) got strangled, and or choked!
by The Fig June 11, 2011
A room in a corporate office formally known as "Wellness Room" or "Sick Room" where savvy and horny worker bees can go to masturbate or "rub one out" in privacy.
Dude, so yesterday I'm all at work and Priscilla starts sending me all kinda durtee email notes and hot-'n-steamy sexts about how she's super horny and CAN'T wait until I get off work and get to her place...but it was only 10:00 a.m.!
I immediately hit the rub-out-room and drain the venom from my cobra! There was no way I could handle seven more hours of office work with a sack full of venom!
I immediately hit the rub-out-room and drain the venom from my cobra! There was no way I could handle seven more hours of office work with a sack full of venom!
by The Fig July 23, 2014
adverb
1) When an individual begins a romantic relationship which started on-line, and thinks that he/she has an instant, intimate connection to the other person...which just scares the shit out of the other person when there is marriage and kid talk on a first date!
2) The feeling in a nascent relationship (first date) that you're totally going to get laid that night!
3) When you meet a girl/guy for the first time and one of both of you start talking about super serious shit that happened to you as a kid when it's WAY too early
1) When an individual begins a romantic relationship which started on-line, and thinks that he/she has an instant, intimate connection to the other person...which just scares the shit out of the other person when there is marriage and kid talk on a first date!
2) The feeling in a nascent relationship (first date) that you're totally going to get laid that night!
3) When you meet a girl/guy for the first time and one of both of you start talking about super serious shit that happened to you as a kid when it's WAY too early
So I've got a date with this Jenn, who I met on-line, we only talked once on the phone, but emailed for like two weeks everyday and it was instamacy right away! I totally think I'm falling in-like with her, she's 5'8", nice rack, great body, and really funny...I already went to the website to figure out what our kids will look like. Would you think it was odd if someone asked you to marry them on the first date?
by The Fig February 23, 2011
When a person births a turd pile so large that it fills the bowl so completely that a small portion is above the surface of the toilet water.
Last night we had Italian then drank A LOT and had late-night Mexican and thus morning I had a tremendous shit, so big I birthed a poohberg
by The Fig April 4, 2022
Sometimes you just want a regular fuckin' keyboard instead of trying to write an email with a slows-as-fuck-to-type on handputer!
by The Fig February 25, 2016