The Captain's definitions

scrotal highway

A route seldom traveled.

US Highway 69.

Intersects with the Bungchute expressway.

She drove on down the old scrotal highway, but really ran out of steam when it came to the ballsack turnpike

by The Captain December 20, 2003

snatch gristle

The labia minora, or inner lips, of the vagina; especially those that protrude beyond the labia majora, or outer lips, of the vagina and resemble the tough elastic cartilage of meat.

Damn! I almost choked on that bitch's snatch gristle!!!

by The Captain January 22, 2004

Captain Crunch

Some bunk ass weed sold by some cracker jack ass niggas usually contains seeds stems leaves and is dry and crunchy know to cause headaches

The homie: yo this nigga Nathan was tryna sell me some captain crunch it was full of seeds and hedge clippings it fell apart right when i touched it.
ME: Haha the nigga was prolly trying to scrape up some money for a decent hair cut for once haha.

by THE CAPTAIN January 6, 2014

Hipsterdufus

A fake hipster, who has fallen behind in trends. A Hipsterdufus would be seen still listening to The Strokes in the latter half of 2001.

by The Captain March 12, 2003

emocoustic

Emocoustic ee-moh-koo-stik (adj.) - Variety of music consisting of emotionally driven lyrics backed by acoustic instruments, usually a guitar.

Edwin McCain is a fine example of an emocoustic artist, and even bands such as Ill Niño and Open Hand have "emocoustic" songs.

"The strands in your eyes that color them wonderful, Stop me and steal my breath, And emeralds from mountains thrust towards the sky, Never revealing their depth"

- Edwin Mccain

by The Captain August 14, 2004

alienjack

Scary, psychotic man who is very, very good looking while being very, very temperamental.

"Oh, damn. It's Alienjack at the door. Hide! Wait, go get it. No, hide!"

by The Captain September 29, 2003

beer fairy

Like most dorm mates or people who live accross the hall in an appartment complex, these lucky individuals drink themselves into a state where they mentally and physically become gay. They will hump everyday friends, maliciously. Straight by day, gay by beer. Around these people watch your brews and your cornholes.

Oh for shits sake, Cowboy's humping Kevin again.

by the captain May 13, 2005