Definitions by The Captain

Captain Crunch 

Some bunk ass weed sold by some cracker jack ass niggas usually contains seeds stems leaves and is dry and crunchy know to cause headaches

The homie: yo this nigga Nathan was tryna sell me some captain crunch it was full of seeds and hedge clippings it fell apart right when i touched it.
ME: Haha the nigga was prolly trying to scrape up some money for a decent hair cut for once haha.

Captain Crunch by THE CAPTAIN January 6, 2014

squampster 

Half squirrl half hampster....

Fuck off.

The Dugly Squampster house

squampster by The Captain May 13, 2005

beer fairy 

Like most dorm mates or people who live accross the hall in an appartment complex, these lucky individuals drink themselves into a state where they mentally and physically become gay. They will hump everyday friends, maliciously. Straight by day, gay by beer. Around these people watch your brews and your cornholes.

Oh for shits sake, Cowboy's humping Kevin again.

beer fairy by the captain May 13, 2005

cod 

slang for cock. In the old days men wore a so-called "codpiece,"which looked lsort of like underwear on the outside...

The captain liked the look of the wench:"Hold her down whilst I slips her me cod!" he yelled...

cod by the captain April 22, 2005

beautifuck 

It’s when you fuck a really gorgeous girl for no apparent reason. Usually happens to a mediocre to semi good-looking male with a hot casual friend or a random from the bar. Ugly people may need the assistance of alcohol or roofies, and in most case that’s illegal.

One thing lead to another, then bam, another beautifuck.

beautifuck by the captain March 30, 2005

ripped 

fucking a girl hardcore until she rips

"wow, I ripped the shit out of that girl last night"
"Sean and Ryan love ripping girls!"

ripped by the captain February 8, 2005

carmex 

something that is sweet to put on your eyelids and feels really cool

dude i was drunk last night and i put carmex on my eyelids, it was awesome

carmex by the captain February 5, 2005