raccoon murder

1. A made up legal term that has no statute because the law sees these creatures as nuisance animals.

2. The completely legal and responsible activity of eliminating trash pandas from your neighborhood or property so as to preserve the cleanliness of the area and rid it of diseased pest.
1. Some turds went on YouTube and accused this guy of raccoon murder. Turns out, there's no such thing.

2. I was tired of half the trash cans being tipped over and the garbage being scattered throughout the neighborhood. So I went on a raccoon murder spree.
by The Cap N' July 21, 2020
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kick-start the dog

1. The act of tucking one's semi-erect penis behind their leg and then kicking that leg rearward in order to stimulate a fuller erection.

2. Tucking ones fully erect penis behind their leg and forcefully hiking that leg rearward in order to smack a woman performing fellatio under the chin.
1. I was taking a shower and sprang a semi so I used some hair conditioner to kick-start the dog.
2. Your ex-girlfriend kept talking while giving the weakest head I've ever received so I kick-started the dog and smacked that bitch in the face.
by The Cap N' June 19, 2020
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Wild Uncle

A drink that combines a shot (usually a double) of Wild Turkey poured into a pint glass with 12oz of Miller Genuine Draft in it. It is promptly consumed in a one-n'-done chug. It represents something along the lines of how your uncle would drink if he had some bad news to tell you.
Uncle: Give me a Wild Uncle and make it a double. I just don't know how to tell my nephew he's an orphan and my trailer ain't no place for kids.
Bartender: Sure thing pal. Maybe you shouldn't have drove him to a bar to break that news...
by The Cap N' April 09, 2021
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apache firestarter

Rubbing ones palms together vigorously with at least four fingers of each hand inserted into your partner's anus or vagina in an effort to stimulate an orgasm.
I finished up but, was having trouble getting that loose hole hot so I hit it with the ol' Apache Firestarter and they came like a first class package. Beat up and late.
by The Cap N' July 21, 2020
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shripp

1
n. The distinct sound of chapped butt cheeks breaking the adhesion caused by a combination of caked skin, body hair, and fecal matter.
2
v. The act is separating the fleshy portions of the buttocks where the left and right gluteus maximus join at the anus creating a sound similar to opening old velcro.
1: I had to use the airport bathroom after a long flight and my ass made a shripp.

2: I shripped so loud that the two guys in the stall next to me giggled and one said, "Sounds like a virgin".
by The Cap N' April 25, 2021
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udilliterate

1. Urban Dictionary Illiterate.

2. When someone is too stupid to spell or grammar check a post that they want to be in Urban Dictionary.

3. When someone doesn't read or ignores the guidance on defining words in Urban Dictionary so they try to post the names of their love interest or perceived antagonist in an effort to satisfy their own ego while also neglecting to understand the finer points of stalking, slander, and libel.
1. These udilliterate kids don't seem to understand enough about real words to be able to articulate the made up definitions of fake words. They're literally unrelatable.

2. Why would these udilliterates try to define somebody's name on Urban Dictionary thinking it's going to get you laid or be a big enough slight to change the way someone is? I could list exactly how many times that's worked. Zero.

2.
by The Cap N' July 20, 2020
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ottawa jizz rag

1. Any cloth article that has been saturated with jizz and worn for a prolonged period of time to the point that the fibers have been broken down and holes are now present. This item is usually a serious risk of infection to the wearer and others who come into contact with it.

2. A Snuggy.
Karl has been in quarantine for two weeks. He's not sick but, if he keeps wearing that Ottawa jizz rag, he will be.
by The Cap N' August 10, 2020
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