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Definitions by Tethys Wrenslayer

Boomer Button

The volume-down control used, inexplicably in preference to pause or mute, and usually without regard for the consequences of leaving an audio track running unheard.
1. Answering phone: “Hello, sorry I’m just watching TV. Indulge me while I press the boomer button 24 times instead of mute.”

2. John opted for the inconvenience of using the boomer button 12 times, while listening to a podcast, in order to start a conversation.
Boomer Button by Tethys Wrenslayer August 20, 2026
The ultimate tattoo, optimally positioned on the arse.
Customer: "I'd like 'Your name' tattooed on my arse."
Tattooist: "What, 'Colin'?"

Inebriant to intended conquest: “I’ve got your name tattooed on my arse.”
Your name by Tethys Wrenslayer August 19, 2026

Stacked Bungalows

noun.
Flats (UK)
Apartments (US)
“Where does Dave live?”
“Third floor of some stacked bungalows.”

“I can't afford a house, so I bought a bungalow in a stack of six.”

Lewdicrous Slip

noun.

A game played during otherwise serious high-level meetings, lectures or presentations in which each participant writes a single profane, obscure or surreal word on a small piece of paper. The slips are mixed up, and each presenter draws one at random, which they must then slip convincingly into their presentation without breaking character.

Words should be sufficiently inappropriate or incongruous to make their successful insertion funny, but not such a bastard creation that the person submitting would be unwilling to draw their own.

The term can also refer to the word or slip itself.
"Why did everyone at the back start sniggering when the Surgeon Commander said 'smorgasbord'?"

"Lewdicrous Slip. He nearly corpsed."

Advanced play: playing an outrageous word or phrase that can only be used by elaborate incuntation, e.g:

"Oh, come on #FFS, who the fuck wrote clitoris?"

Thinks: “It should be clear to us…”

Incuntation

noun.

The deliberate construction or delivery of an apparently innocent phrase so that part of it sounds like a rude or inappropriate word when heard aloud.

Unlike a mondegreen or cuntception, an incuntation is intentional: The speaker has engineered the alternative hearing for the amusement of anyone juvenile enough to notice, while retaining total deniability.
"This lesson will prep you sufficiently to deal with..."
- prepuce

"when managing our soldiers..."
- arsehole

"Did he just say…?"

"No. Incuntation."
Incuntation by Tethys Wrenslayer August 14, 2026

Cuntception

noun.

The act of detecting a sexual, surreal or otherwise inappropriate word or filth, accidentally residing in completely innocent speech. Usually by ignoring or rearranging the intended boundaries between words or syllables.

Particularly common among people constitutionally incapable of hearing an innocent sentence without finding something funny in it.
"We don't need TV to entertain us."

"Huh huh. He said anus."

"No he didn't. That's cuntception."
Cuntception by Tethys Wrenslayer August 14, 2026
Lift Interpretation Fuckwittery Threshold (LIFT)

n. The age related milestone at which an individual loses the ability to process lift related information and instead relies on strangers for navigation. Once crossed, a lift journey can become a collaborative exercise involving at least one boomer and an unwilling bystander.

Diagnostic criteria include:

- Asking whether a lift is going up while a down arrow is illuminated.
- Entering lifts travelling in the opposite direction to the desired floor.
Boomer: “How do you get to the first floor?”

Gen X: “Press 1, I guess.”

“He’s crossed the LIFT.”
LIFT by Tethys Wrenslayer June 6, 2026
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