Definitions by Tethys Wrenslayer
LIFT
Lift Interpretation Fuckwittery Threshold (LIFT)
n. The age related milestone at which an individual loses the ability to process lift related information and instead relies on strangers for navigation. Once crossed, a lift journey can become a collaborative exercise involving at least one boomer and an unwilling bystander.
Diagnostic criteria include:
- Asking whether a lift is going up while a down arrow is illuminated.
- Entering lifts travelling in the opposite direction to the desired floor.
n. The age related milestone at which an individual loses the ability to process lift related information and instead relies on strangers for navigation. Once crossed, a lift journey can become a collaborative exercise involving at least one boomer and an unwilling bystander.
Diagnostic criteria include:
- Asking whether a lift is going up while a down arrow is illuminated.
- Entering lifts travelling in the opposite direction to the desired floor.
LIFT by Tethys Wrenslayer June 6, 2026
Meningism
A word that has two very different meanings depending on the speed of its utterance.
1. Said quickly; a clinical syndrome of headache, neck stiffness and photophobia. Often indicative of inflammation in or around the meninges.
2. Said slowly; a situation describing multiple male bukkake recipients.
1. Said quickly; a clinical syndrome of headache, neck stiffness and photophobia. Often indicative of inflammation in or around the meninges.
2. Said slowly; a situation describing multiple male bukkake recipients.
Meningism by Tethys Wrenslayer February 19, 2023
Seeing Toto
When a small group of homosexuals arrange to meet up to see a band or other event but due to their incompetence, one is missing. This is either due to forgetfulness or a manufactured excuse.
1st dude: Why isn’t Matthew here?
2nd dude: He said his car windscreen is broken.
1st dude: But we’re seeing Toto!
2nd dude: He said his car windscreen is broken.
1st dude: But we’re seeing Toto!
Seeing Toto by Tethys Wrenslayer January 30, 2023
Lube the dog’s arse
Lube the dog’s arse by Tethys Wrenslayer December 30, 2022
scroty brush
A hairbrush festooned with short, sharp, stiff bristles. Often taken from an ex-wife, it can provide immense relief when rasped against an itchy scrotum.
My scrotal pruritus was so intense last night that I borrowed my wife’s hairbrush to relieve it. Little does she know, it’s now my scroty brush.
scroty brush by Tethys Wrenslayer December 30, 2022
Rudford
A small village in Gloucestershire, UK. Famous for a conservatory that periodically fills with junk and mysteriously empties itself.
Rudford by Tethys Wrenslayer January 15, 2022