Telephony's definitions

windometer

Plain and simple: an anemometer.
An anemometer is an instrument used for measuring wind speed.

Winds were clocked with my stupid sodding "rotten cat pee yellow" portable digital "windometer" (as JD from JD Quad in the UK calls them even though those things are actually called, "anemometers") ;-) as being variable to 3.60mph (4.36kph) at the surface.

by Telephony May 25, 2019

woodpeckerhead

A woodpecker (sp. Picidae) that, from some angles, its head looks like a pecker (dick, cock, willie, johnson, penus, penis, etc. is known as a woodpeckerhead.

Look at the head of that woodpecker over there! It's a woodpeckerhead!!!

by Telephony April 6, 2015

asshole thermometer

Another name for a rectal thermometer.

Hey Jerry, don't put that fucking thing in your mouth cos it's an asshole thermometer!

by Telephony May 15, 2016

5th of July

The day when you walk down the street and see things such as sticks from bottle rockets, and remnants of Roman candles scattered in lawns and in gutters, and the occasional "banana peeled" mailbox that got that way because some asshaberdasher shoved a lighted M80 or M500 illegal firecracker into it the night before.

Hey Jimbo, check out that demolished mailbox!
Must be the 5th of July or something!

by Telephony July 3, 2014

mic

The correct spelling of the abbreviation for the word, "microphone".
Many people spell it as, "mike" which is totally wrong.

Yo wassup homes? Will you please hand me the mic so I can do this here song?

by Telephony December 2, 2015

uranate like a competitive equine

Means the same as piss like a racehorse; e.g., when you have to pee really badly.

Sheesh!!! Todd had to uranate like a competitive equine this morning!!! Must have been all the brewskies he had last night!!!

by Telephony January 20, 2011

baby shit brown

Means the same as the phrase baby poop brown.
Some cars & trucks have this hideous brown paint job which has the color of baby shit; hence the phrase, "baby shit brown". This paint job is so old that it is often somewhat faded and has a matte finish (vs. a glossy finish as is usual for automotive paint jobs).

A 1970 Ford Maverick that I had in 1986 sported this type of paint -- faded, matte finish, and colored baby shit brown.

{From a website that has these phoney bologna fake "battles" between TV commercial mascots}:

Parked on the street are a 1986 Honda Accord sporting a dull baby shit brown paint finish (the doors are locked but the keys are still in the ignition) and (again with the keys already in the ignition) a 2014 Kia Soul with a custom lime green paint job.

by Telephony October 26, 2013