Telephony's definitions

defecal

A defecal is a plumbing fixture used for collecting & then disposing of defecation (poop). It is a portmanteau of the words, "defecate" and, "urinal".

The defecal is a bit like a urinal -- only the defecal is used solely for taking a plop. If you piss into a defecal, it will require maintanence -- much as a urinal would if you drop a deuce into it.

Hey James, this defecal is fucked up; some true-blue total asshaberdasher must have pissed into it! Any idea where another one is cause I really have to leave a shit!

by Telephony November 22, 2016

Hammermaker Schlemmner

What some people call Hammacher Schlemmer -- the catalogue of somewhat unusual (and usually quite expen$ive) products that's been around since 1848.

Hey Dean! I just got the Holiday 2016 copy of the Hammermaker Schlemmner catalogue, and they have a self-heating bathrobe in it! I think I'll get on the blower and order one right now!

by Telephony November 24, 2016

inseminator

Another word for penis (tallywhacker, dick, dong, prick, cock, ding-a-ling, etc.)

My Ipod reports the song, "Penis I See" by Gwar as, "Inseminator I Optically Image". How fucking queer!

by Telephony November 25, 2016

thingies

Boobs, as Butt-Head on MTVs "Beavis and Butt-Head" calls them.

I just wanna feel every part of me
Touching every part of you, huh-huh-huh
Especially your thingies, huh-huh-huh

by Telephony December 2, 2016

homo run

What a gay baseball player might hit if he hits one over the fence (either as a solo home run or a grand salami).

{radio announcer}
And Andrew Melling #24 is at the plate now...1-2 pitch...and ...he just hit a homo run!!!

by Telephony December 9, 2016

Febreze Cannon

When you're playing the video game Digimon Racing on your Nintendo Game Boy Advance, one of your weapons is the Debris Cannon -- but it really does sound like Febreze Cannon when your digimon driver shouts it out!

I was playing Digimon Racing the other day, and l heard one of my digimon shout, "Febreze Cannon!", so I went and got a can of Febreze Air Effects and studied it to see if I could launch the little fucker at slow cars in my lane and see them douched out in my rear view mirror.

by Telephony December 12, 2016

The aTRUMPinator

Very similar to The Assassinator -- some very intelligent person (***NOT*** a true-blue total asshaberdasher!) who assassinates President-Elect Donald Trump.

The aTRUMPinator was on the prowl for Trump not far from the Trump Tower in New York (which was firebombed the other day) looking to assassinate the asshole before he took the Oath of Office.

by Telephony December 12, 2016