Telephony's definitions

ṕ€n¡s

A way to type the word, "penis" that bypasses the onboard censors in many online BBS programs and forums (or, "fora" if you want to be an anal-retentive dick about it).

Some forums block posts that contain the word penis, so use ṕ€n¡s instead.
Ebay also blocks feedback containing the word penis, even if it is split into a very legitimate phrase.

On Ebay's feedback...
{Blocked}: The pen is very nice, thank you!
{Not blocked}: The ṕ€n ¡s very nice, thank you!

by Telephony January 16, 2021

fece

The singular form of the word feces; that is to say, a single stool floating in the shitbowl or lying on the ground, waiting to be stepped in and subsequently tracked inside the house.

{Hoolio}: Hey look out Hozay, there's a fece that you're about to step in!!!
{Hozay}: Thanks Hoolio! I'm glad that you told me about that so I didn't step on it and track it all over the rug inside!

{Horhay}: Hey George, did you forget to flush? There's a fece half covered in bungwipe floating in the water and you're the last one to use the bathroom!

by Telephony September 6, 2013

toilet muscle

A phrase that simply means "butt" or "ass".

One lousy screw fell off and you have to do all of ***THAT***?!? Man, what a pain in the toilet muscle!!!

by Telephony November 15, 2010

spit diaper

A partial facemask put on prisoners who have a nasty tendency to spit or hawk loogies at the arresting officer(s), courtroom inhabitants (judge, bailiff, prosecuting attorneys, jury members, court reporter, etc.), prison employees, and so on. Spit diapers fit relatively tightly over the mouth & nose of the offending spitter, and are fastened to the face with thin elastic bands that fit around the ears.

Eduardo kept spitting at the cops, so they gave him a spit diaper right after he had his mugshot.

by Telephony December 27, 2015

horse puckey cat

A cat whos ass smells like horse shit.
Cats putting their litterbox muscles in your face is not as uncommon as one might think, so you can get a snootful fairly readily. :-/

Piss you!!! My f'in cat is a true horse puckey cat if ever there was one!!!

by Telephony April 24, 2015

poo-poo spray

Any type of air deodorant / air freshener that comes in an aerosol bomb (spray can).

{Marge}: Homer, did you just leave a big fat shit in our toliet?
{Homer}: Yes dear, and I even remembered to flush!
{Marge}: The bathroom stinks to high heaven; next time please use the poo-poo spray, ok?

by Telephony July 30, 2016

Textie McTexterson

Somebody who spends almost every waking minute on his or her cellular telephone handset texting.

Alex, I've picked out a cellular telephone phone just for you, Mr. Textie McTexterson!!!

by Telephony January 9, 2019