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Telephony's definitions

poddy

How many people pronounce the word, "potty".
Can be used to describe the act of ejecting micturition or the urine itself.

Some people use the word to describe the act of leaving a shit as well.
Hold on a moment -- I really need to go poddy before we leave!
by Telephony June 9, 2014
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top deck dump

Pooping in the cistern (toliet tank).
The bathroom stinks to high heaven because some total fartknocker (a true buttweed) took a top deck dump!!!
by Telephony January 5, 2011
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one-banger

A one-banger is simply slang for a single-engine airplane like a Cessna 182 or a Piper Cub.
{Julio} Hey Jesus, there's a single-engine airplane taking off from the airport over there.
{Jesus} Julio, you mean to say that there's a one-banger headed this way?
by Telephony August 20, 2019
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5 minute pisses

This phrase means much the same as coffee penus, but can be used by both males and females (since all females except for perhaps late pre-op transsexuals do not have dicks).
{Jesús}: Cummon Horhay, let's get going!
{Horhay}: I'm afraid I'll have to pass; I've got the 5 minute pisses from having drank half a pot of coffee.
by Telephony May 18, 2014
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sweat

An unfortunate (but shockingly common) misspelling of the word sweet.
{seen on a sign above the loo in a public restroom

If You Dribble
While You Piddle
Please Be Sweat
And Wipe the Seat.
by Telephony October 4, 2019
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TVA Light Bulb Destructor

A device which was invented by a 7th grader, but never made it into production.

This is a product in which a hydraulic piston affair slowly comes down onto light bulbs burning base-down in receptacles at the bottom of the machine; it's sole purpose is to destroy light bulbs while they're burning.
{From a website about phoney-bologna staged 'battles' -- usually amongst commercial & infomercial spokespeople, spokesanimals, and spokesthings}:

"Robbins then goes on the rampage...he finds what's left of that case of poor, defenseless, helpless light bulbs, carries it to the bathroom, and viciously throws each remaining bulb into the toliet -- being certain that each one impacts the bowl above the waterline to assure bulb breakage and simultaneously rather loudly shouting, "BREAKING LIGHT BELBS!!!" as each lamp implodes against the inside of the water closet with that loud "POP" and the distinctive tinkling of broken glass. After every sixth bulb, Robbins pulls down on that chrome plated lever at the top left front corner of the cistern, causing the busted bulbs in there to whirl down the shitbowl! Once the case is empty, he carries it out to the dipsty dumpster at the back of the Receiving Home, lifts the lid, and nonchalantly tosses it in.

Johnson thinks about building "The TVA Light Bulb Destructor" (something he drew up in the 7th grade, where a hydraulic piston affair slowly comes down onto light bulbs burning base-down at the bottom of the machine), but realises two fairly significant issues with building the asinine thing right away.

1: It would cost money to build -- a fairly large amount of it too.
2: The time necessary to construct such an evil device is more than the time Johnson wants to stay in this decade.

So that idea rather quickly goes to pot. "
by Telephony August 27, 2014
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hum my rod

{Joe & Josh are at the baseball stadium; Joe has the "cheap seats"}

Josh: Hey Joe, how's the weather up in the nosebleed section?
Joe: HUM MY ROD Josh!!!
by Telephony June 20, 2011
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