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Telephony's definitions

Twenty Twisted-Stick-Tire

How the year 2020 might appear when viewed from above.
{From a daily update to a BBS about wheelchairs & scooters}:
01-07-20 {or "2020 07 Jan.", or even "January 07, Twenty Twisted-Stick-Tire" if you prefer}.
Just making my daily check-in from Tok AK. USA...my people (who live in Nicaragua) we have but one bunghole...er...uh...I mean I only have a sodding Cingular update planned for my website today...it concerns my having added an aerial video of flights of my DJI Phantom 3 standard FPV Drone to my website.
by Telephony December 9, 2019
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cigarette stub

Hey Jackson!
Check out that sand urn in front of the 7-11!!
It's just overflowing with cigarette stubs -- guess nobody believes in cleaning the fucker!!!
by Telephony August 16, 2013
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hot water heater

What many people (even news anchors on well-respected TV news channels!) call a water heater.

You don't want to heat water that's already hot for Pete sakes!! It's proper to call it a 'water heater' or you can even call it a 'hot water tank' -- but never a 'hot water heater'.
{Latoya}: Gary, I think the hot water heater is busted; I can't get any hot water out of this faucet to do the dishes!

{Gary}: Latoya, we don't have a 'hot water heater' -- we might have a hot water cooler, a water heater, or a hot water tank, but no hot water heater! Which of those do you want me to check?
by Telephony August 16, 2012
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spider under the table

This phrase means exactly the same as a fly on the wall -- that is, somebody who covertly watches or listens in on something that is not intended for them to see or hear.
From the Star Trek: The Next Generation episode, "Lower Decks":

"How would you like to be a spider under that table?"
"What?"
"A spider under the table."
"Is that like a fly on the wall?"
"I guess so."
by Telephony August 29, 2014
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disposable plastic baby toliets

To put it as briefly as I can: disposable diapers

They can be called disposable plastic baby toliets because they're made of plastic, you throw them into the garbage can (or diaper pale) when they're full, and they have but one purpose: a baby pisses & shits into them, thus making them disposable plastic toliets for babies.
{Horhay}: Hey Linda, I can't find the diapers and the baby needs to be changed!
{Linda}: Don't worry Horhay, the disposable plastic baby toliets are in the cabinet above the shitbowl.
by Telephony June 13, 2013
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didgeridon't

People who hate the sound that a didgeridoo makes call it a didgeridon't.
I fucking hate that cocksucking didgeridon't being "played" by the dock! Sounds like a motherfucking wounded elephant trying to give birth!!! :-(
by Telephony September 12, 2016
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head

A toilet; esp. on a ship.
Called that because in the days of sailing ships, the toilet was simply a hole in the deck near the ship's bow (the front or head of a ship).
Hold on there Sarge! I need to go to the head and leave a shit!
by Telephony November 3, 2014
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