Submitters of Words's definitions
A situation in which a desired outcome or solution is impossible to attain because of a set of inherently illogical rules
The following is a rather common Catch 22,
Conservatives usually claim one of two things about liberals:
1) They're so open-minded their brains have fallen out
2) They're close-minded hypocrites who are only tolerant of opinions they agree with.
Clearly, these two points of view cannot be reconciled. Therefore I've dubbed it the Anti-Liberal Catch-22.
I mean, which one is it then? Overly open minded idiots or closed-minded hypocrites?
Make up your minds, conservatives!
Conservatives usually claim one of two things about liberals:
1) They're so open-minded their brains have fallen out
2) They're close-minded hypocrites who are only tolerant of opinions they agree with.
Clearly, these two points of view cannot be reconciled. Therefore I've dubbed it the Anti-Liberal Catch-22.
I mean, which one is it then? Overly open minded idiots or closed-minded hypocrites?
Make up your minds, conservatives!
by Submitters of Words June 23, 2011
Get the Catch 22mug. Guy #1: I've been with her for over a year, and we still haven't had sex. She's impussible! What do I do??
Guy #2: Tool
Guy #2: Tool
by Submitters of Words January 19, 2011
Get the Impussiblemug. by Submitters of Words August 15, 2011
Get the Norweigistanmug. An alternative name for the state of California.
Since the state is full of liberals, the name is appropriate.
Since the state is full of liberals, the name is appropriate.
Calibfornia is a nice place to visit, and maybe even live. My ultra-liberal cousins live there, and they're some pretty cool people, after all.
by Submitters of Words August 5, 2011
Get the Calibforniamug. Similar to the race card, but used by conservatives.
Something they tout as an answer to every single social issue in existence. Such reasoning is fallacious, however, because in actuality life is much more complicated..
Conservative: If people don't want babies, they shouldn't have sex. That way, abortion wouldn't even be necessary. Think, liberals, think! Personal responsibility, people!
Liberal/Moderate: Ok, so if abortion was banned, it's true that less people would have irresponsible sex, and there might be far fewer abortions. You're right on that one. But what about in cases of rape? You can't mount the "personal responsibility" defense there - people don't choose to get raped.
Conservative: Make abortion legal only in cases of rape then.
L/M: Well how are you supposed to know when the hell she's lying then? You'd be encouraging women to lie. Same problem as before, she just has to employ a different method of getting around it. How are you supposed to distinguish between the liars and the true victims?
Conservative: Polygraph.
L/M: In a perfect world, those things are fully reliable. But they're clearly not. Since we don't live in a perfect world, and polygraphs sometimes fail, we may as well legalize abortion considering that there are many cases where it's very necessary. Of course there are whores who will use it as birth control. But that's unavoidable.
Something they tout as an answer to every single social issue in existence. Such reasoning is fallacious, however, because in actuality life is much more complicated..
Conservative: If people don't want babies, they shouldn't have sex. That way, abortion wouldn't even be necessary. Think, liberals, think! Personal responsibility, people!
Liberal/Moderate: Ok, so if abortion was banned, it's true that less people would have irresponsible sex, and there might be far fewer abortions. You're right on that one. But what about in cases of rape? You can't mount the "personal responsibility" defense there - people don't choose to get raped.
Conservative: Make abortion legal only in cases of rape then.
L/M: Well how are you supposed to know when the hell she's lying then? You'd be encouraging women to lie. Same problem as before, she just has to employ a different method of getting around it. How are you supposed to distinguish between the liars and the true victims?
Conservative: Polygraph.
L/M: In a perfect world, those things are fully reliable. But they're clearly not. Since we don't live in a perfect world, and polygraphs sometimes fail, we may as well legalize abortion considering that there are many cases where it's very necessary. Of course there are whores who will use it as birth control. But that's unavoidable.
"personal responsibility card"
Personal responsibility is important but it doesn't take into account factors that are outside of the person's control. For instance, conservatives are operating under the assumption that welfare discourages the work ethic and personal responsibility. But what about people with Parkinson's, or similar diseases? What about valuable workers that have been laid off en masse by struggling companies and need aid to get that back on their feet? Are they necessarily lazy and lacking personal responsibility?
Personal responsibility is important but it doesn't take into account factors that are outside of the person's control. For instance, conservatives are operating under the assumption that welfare discourages the work ethic and personal responsibility. But what about people with Parkinson's, or similar diseases? What about valuable workers that have been laid off en masse by struggling companies and need aid to get that back on their feet? Are they necessarily lazy and lacking personal responsibility?
by Submitters of Words June 15, 2011
Get the Personal responsibility cardmug. Just so you Republican asshats know, most of the people on welfare these days are children.
Just look it up you'll see I'm right.
Just look it up you'll see I'm right.
The fact is that if you vehemently oppose any form of welfare these days, you're indirectly asking for the return of child labor.
by Submitters of Words June 30, 2011
Get the Welfaremug. Contrary to popular conservative belief, political correctness is not a solely left-wing phenomenon.
politically correct (conservative)
Examples of conservative correctness:
frankfurters became "hot dogs" during world war I
french fries became freedom fries in 2003
David Horowitz's "Academic Bill of Rights"
attempts to "teach the controversy" by creationists in biology courses, and global warming deniers in environmental science courses
Any number of campaigns against plays or films, such as Life of Brian or Jesus Christ Superstar, on the grounds that they are "offensive to Christians;" conservative Catholic groups are particularly fond of this tactic
Encouragement of anti-gay activists to eschew the words "gay" and "homosexual" in favor of such phrases as "unnatural vice" and "anti-Christian"
Global warming deniers whining about being called "deniers." They prefer the term "skeptic."
"Enhanced interrogation techniques"
"Homicide bombing"
Atheist billboards are seen as insensitive to Christians.
Republicans changing the names of committees in the House of Representatives to change "labor" to "workforce" and remove any mention of "civil rights"
Free speech zones
The Dixie Chicks causing controversy by criticizing George Bush
ward churchill getting blasted to high heavens for insulting innocent americans (although this was definitely justified)
The whole fox news "war on christmas" nonsense
Conservatives
are just as PC as liberals!
Examples of conservative correctness:
frankfurters became "hot dogs" during world war I
french fries became freedom fries in 2003
David Horowitz's "Academic Bill of Rights"
attempts to "teach the controversy" by creationists in biology courses, and global warming deniers in environmental science courses
Any number of campaigns against plays or films, such as Life of Brian or Jesus Christ Superstar, on the grounds that they are "offensive to Christians;" conservative Catholic groups are particularly fond of this tactic
Encouragement of anti-gay activists to eschew the words "gay" and "homosexual" in favor of such phrases as "unnatural vice" and "anti-Christian"
Global warming deniers whining about being called "deniers." They prefer the term "skeptic."
"Enhanced interrogation techniques"
"Homicide bombing"
Atheist billboards are seen as insensitive to Christians.
Republicans changing the names of committees in the House of Representatives to change "labor" to "workforce" and remove any mention of "civil rights"
Free speech zones
The Dixie Chicks causing controversy by criticizing George Bush
ward churchill getting blasted to high heavens for insulting innocent americans (although this was definitely justified)
The whole fox news "war on christmas" nonsense
Conservatives
are just as PC as liberals!
by Submitters of Words December 11, 2011
Get the politically correct (conservative)mug.