Definitions by Stu Jones

my penis 

an object which should be in your mouth at all times

where is my penis? oh, there it is. in your mouth.

my penis by Stu Jones January 5, 2021

naked homeless guy 

A homeless guy who is naked.

I did a good thing today.

I took a picture of this naked homeless guy on the train, and I was totally going to submit it to Subway Douchery, but then I thought about it, and, like, what if that was me? So, you know, I did the hero thing. I deleted the picture from my phone.

But sometimes I think I'll never be able to delete the sorrow from my heart.

naked homeless guy by Stu Jones March 17, 2013

train hands

what your hands become when you ride the train

"I can't touch that baby. I have train hands."

"Let me wash off my train hands before I perform open heart surgery."

"If anyone says, 'What time is it? It's show time,' one more time, I'ma slap them silly with these train hands."

train hands by Stu Jones September 9, 2011

Tuh-row-row 

what the Torontonians calls Toronto

"Hi, I am from Tuh-row-row, the largest city in Canada."

"You get a lovely view of Tuh-row-row from the CN Tower."

"If you go to Tuh-row-row, watch out for the crackheads."

Tuh-row-row by Stu Jones September 9, 2011