Stivchik's definitions

Do Gooder Two-Shoes

Someone who is both a Do gooder and a Goody Two-shoes at the same time.

So someone who always likes to appear like they're helping someone while also working hard to maintain a whiter-than-white morally superior image.

It's getting so tedious with Helen. Every time I speak to her she manages to allude to how earnest and woke she is. There’s always some virtue signalling in there and some humble brags or other comments that hint at what a good, moral and worthy person she is. She’s such a Do Gooder Two-shoes.

by Stivchik August 15, 2019

angle dangled

When you meet a girl for a date and she’s way better looking on all her online photos than she is in real life.

It means she knows her angles, she's dangled her angles and you’ve been ANGLE DANGLED.

- How did your date go, yesterday? You seemed excited.
- The difference between her profile pictures I'd been looking over and how she is in the flesh is really big. It doesn’t seem fair.

- Aha! You’ve been angle dangled, dude.

by Stivchik June 21, 2019

sweatshopped

When you purchase an item of clothing or footwear from a retailer that you had always previously trusted to provide a minimum standard of quality but when you get home, a detail - such as a button, a buckle or a zip comes off in your hand before you’ve even had a chance to wear it.

A - Hey, aren’t you going to wear those new boots you got today?
B - Oh man, I’ve been sweatshopped. I’ve tried to do them up and the zip came off in my hand.

by Stivchik April 26, 2019

rucsacker

Someone distinctly lacking self-awareness. Like a person who comes onto public transport wearing a rucsac and doesn’t realise that he’s knocking into people behind him every time he turns around.

In his own world.

Quite possibly on the spectrum.

Don’t pay too much attention to Joe, he’s just a bit of a rucsacker. He often has no concept of the effect he has on people with the things he does or says. You’ll get used to it.

by Stivchik April 26, 2019

instagrazing

The act of aimlessly scrolling and clicking on Instagram for way too long, as though something useful, productive or revelatory could ever come of it.

Phone grazing.

- Hey man, what have you been doing?
- Oh, nothing really, just instagrazing.

by Stivchik April 25, 2019

thumb dribble

that
annoying thing
when people
send you
a message
a few words

at a time

…forcing you to wait and wait until their message ends up looking like a wise, ancient scroll inciting needless drama and anticipation to their communication like it’s some sort of top secret briefing.

- Did Jim not text you about tonight?
- Yeah, but it was all in one of his thumb dribbles that went on and on, so I stopped reading it.

by Stivchik April 22, 2019

mouth gout

That slightly sour, uncomfortable feeling in the bottom corners of your mouth after you‘ve gorged on things like salami, olives, red wine and cheeses and your gums aren’t used to being bombarded with so many rich, salty flavours - so it takes a while for the funny tingling in your jaw to go away.

Hey, why are you pulling those funny faces, what’s the matter with you?

Oh man, I hit the canopes in the other room hard when I got here, I was starving. Delicious - but now I’ve got the mouth gout.

by Stivchik December 6, 2018