Stains and Smears's definitions

a weinstein

When a man jerks off into a potted plant in front of a horrified female witness.

We went out for sushi, but had to cut it short when my date pulled a weinstein with a ficus before dessert.

by Stains and Smears October 16, 2017

Couch Creature

A person who spends 95% or more of their time on the couch....They eat on the couch...Sleep on the couch...And play video games either on the Phone or TV ....on the couch...they refuse to use sheets...the fact is the only time one of these people will get up off of the couch is to use the restroom (Hopefully) or to secure food, only to bring it back to the couch to eat it......Showers are very rare and usually in the very early AM hours. Getting rid of one can be tricky and should be well thought out.

Bill: "Dude , Jimmy has been living at our house for 2 weeks since his girl friend tossed him out."
Dude " Yeah and hes starting to smell, hasn't paid for anything, and he hasn't left the house once."
Bill " Left the house, Dude he hasn't gotten off the fucking couch....hes become some sort of Couch Creature.
Dude " I was thinking of lighting the couch on fire to see if he responds."
Bill " Yeah I think its our only hope"

by Stains and Smears May 21, 2019

pumpkin love

The act of having sex with a pumpkin.

jimmy intends to make a fresh pie as soon as he shows his pumpkin some "pumpkin love".

by Stains and Smears December 22, 2017

Schizophonenia

An affliction that occurs when one is put in a position without their phone for over 24 hours...

Symptoms include:
1) Inability to think about anything at all except the fact you do not have your phone.
2) Profound loss of control
3) Social Disconnect and isolation

4) Feeling as if you have lost a part of yourself
5) Agitation at everything

Dude "My school sent us on a weekend retreat for our final and no phones were allowed"
Dude 2 " I cant be without my phone that long or i'll end up all fucked up with "Schizophonenia"
Dude " Yeah never again ...I almost lost it"

by Stains and Smears March 4, 2019

Fart-Fish-Fuck

Simple Redneck guidelines to live by...

Jeb- "What do you want to do today Zeb?"
Zeb "I don't know, we can either watch the grass grow or I guess we can do what we always do"
Jeb "Fart-Fish-Fuck it is..Ill get my pole ready"

by Stains and Smears May 30, 2018

cumsuprise

When you go to fuck your girlfriend, who you have not fucked in a week , spread her legs and fresh cum oozes out to your horror.

Jimmy went to get laid by his girl after being in prison for a month, but to his shock when he went to fuck her he received a Cumsuprise .

by Stains and Smears May 15, 2018

Lost Phone Syndrome

A serious but temporary condition that occurs when your misfortune enough to lose, misplace or have your phone stolen...
It is rooted in the fear that someone will see whats on your phone...
Physical illness will occur if your phone is not locked...

***Symptoms include : paranoia, anxiety, irrational talking to yourself and lots of erratic searching ...
The condition is 100% curable when you either locate your phone or turn your phone off ...

Billy : Why is Johnny panicking and ripping everything out of his car?
Jimmy : Dude he has "Lost Phone Syndrome" he cant find his phone,do not approach him, you don't wanna know what kind of fucked up shit is downloaded on there..
Billy : Is his phone locked ?
Jimmy : Nope, he is totally fucked !!

by Stains and Smears February 11, 2019