Double-bitch

When one basketball gets wedgied on the hoop, and so you shoot another ball at it, and happen to somehow make both balls.

Me: Dude, Michael. Did you see Doug the other day? He nailed the elusive double-bitch.
Michael: Damn. Doug is a real hooper.

by Somewhat Schizo September 14, 2021

Adolt

Someone who is not really an adult, but a grown up child.

Me. Doug, the way you are so immature makes me think you're an adolt.

by Somewhat Schizo July 31, 2023

Lildo

A small marital aide.

Me: Mike, I was at Dougie's sister's place, and I kid you not. This bitch had like 3 lildos on the nightstand. I was out.

Michael: Damn.

by Somewhat Schizo June 17, 2023

Absolutly

Drunk on Absolut

Me: You, Doug. I was Absolutly last night.

Doug: I thought you didn't like vodka?

by Somewhat Schizo February 19, 2023

Aguiliar

A chick who says she can sing Christina Aguilera songs but can't.

Doug: Dude, Michael, You shoulda seen karoake at the bar last night. This chick was an Aguiliar

by Somewhat Schizo September 20, 2021

whapeesh

An onomatopoeia you say to insinuate somebody is whipped.

Me: Hey, Juan. Come hang out at the arcade with me tomorrow.

Juan: I can't, man. The wife wants me to take her dad to the airport tomorrow.
Me: Whapeesh. (Makes whipping gesture with my hand)

by Somewhat Schizo April 26, 2022

Liagnosed

When a doctor diagnoses you with a condition, but they turn out to be wrong.

Michael: Man, the doctor had me on Stratera for ADHD for 8 years, and it turns out I never even had it.

Me: You got Liagnosed, man.

by Somewhat Schizo September 20, 2021