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Definitions by Solid Mantis

Cutting a guy in half with a saw as an execution.
They said he was half the man he used to be when they got done sawing him in half.
Sawing by Solid Mantis February 12, 2018

Garden hose 

Scott's brother in law shot him dead in an argument over a garden hose. The coroner determined Scott's brother in law had the better garden hose since he could still use his.
Garden hose by Solid Mantis February 9, 2018
The flower said to the mushroom you used to be a fungi to take to parties, until they found all the decomposed bodies.
Fungi by Solid Mantis February 9, 2018

Overachiever 

An overachiever outworks everybody.
Jim-I work hard, why am I not a millionaire?
Kevin- You do work hard Jim, as hard as anybody, but somehow you're not an overachiever. You have to have something inside that makes you an overachiever to be one. You're just not an overachiever Jim.
Jim- I guess not, so why do I owe an overachiever respect, that's the part of it I haven't figured out.
Kevin- Well, an overachiever gets paid for their overachievements. It's their world since they own it, they're free to push you.
Overachiever by Solid Mantis February 8, 2018
Being open and sharing becomes lecturing when you're talking to somebody who wasn't looking for your level of openness, which seems like hypocrisy. Like everyone else, the person you're told you're lecturing is a hypocrite too.
Stop lecturing me, I don't let my friends see my butt hurt in public, you're the butt hurt one!
Lecturing by Solid Mantis February 8, 2018
A person who takes a picture with a group of people so they don't look narcissistic in the picture is a poser.
Photogenic poser-Look, there's seven other faces in the photo with mine, we're not narcissistic are we?
Poser by Solid Mantis February 7, 2018

Narcissistic 

Cats and dogs are not narcissistic or vain.
Girl- It's not true that I'm a narcissist is it mommy?
Mother- Well my darling, you're not a cat or a dog so you're not innocent, you're certainly more narcissistic than a cat or a dog.
Narcissistic by Solid Mantis February 7, 2018