8 definition by Solanas69

Top Definition
The act, during Male masturbation, of ceasing to stroke the penis and instead tapping one's fingers on the underside of the Male member to maintain one's erection without "prematurely" ejaculation.
Alaura Eden is the one porn star who, even if I'm late for work, makes me resort to fret tapping so I can justify watching another minute or two of her films.
by Solanas69 March 18, 2019

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An ejaculation that, when uttered sarcastically, say by someone like Aubrey Plaza, may be a response to not being surprised at news that is supposed to be surprising or enlightening, as being fucked sideways allows the vagina to be both more deeply penetrating and stimulated in a greater variety of places than most other types of fucking. It may also refer to the desire to exit oneself from an undesirable situation to a much better one.
Although technically Judy Garland could have clicked her heels and intoned the words "Fuck me sideways" as opposed to "There's no place like home," the screenwriters were perhaps wise to leave the former idiom for the inevitable slew of Wizard of Oz pornos to follow.
by Solanas69 April 04, 2019

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A marijuana cigarette rolled so tightly, usually by someone one your "behalf," you'll barely get a hit off it; a joint so thin and white it resembles Paltrow's actual body as well as the type of joint a skinny white chick would smoke so as to maintain her dainty, "holistic" lifestyle as opposed to getting seriously baked.
"Come on man, don't roll me a Gwyneth Paltrow--I gotta get some THC up in this bitch!"
by Solanas69 January 30, 2019

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A date where only the guy considers or considered it a date.
Dude, I totally thought I was gonna get some last night, but she really did just want to exchange vegan recipes--turns out it wasn't a date, just a natalie portman.
by Solanas69 June 04, 2019

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a post-metoo term used by those in media jobs who really would prefer to say "smackbitch" but also like gettin paid. . .
Every time some ho from Jezebel says "clapback" instead of "smackbitch", Michael Che sheds a single, "you burned my forest down bitch" Native American tear from his left eye.
by Solanas69 May 22, 2019

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A male's way of describing his horniness in semi-mathematical, yet retrofit, electric feel terms. Usually refers to how likely he is to spot women out in public places and "lust in his heart" after them, a la Jimmy Carter's notorious and groundbreaking interview in Playboy Magazine. Unlike "beer goggles," the Jimmy Carter Index refers to one's tendency to lust after co-workers, media figures, and "random passers by" in a non-inebriated state, during broad daylight.
"Dude, that new prescription for my contacts is really freaking me out cuz I'm seein' tits and ass where they shouldn't even exist--I'm running high on the Jimmy Carter Index!"
by Solanas69 February 24, 2019

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The general deployment of the Male member, in a literal sense, most often its employment in sexual situations. Dickage, while a subjective term, is something that can be discussed and rated by various parties.
While there are several reasons why she may have broken up with me, I can guarantee you it had nothing to do with my dickage.
by Solanas69 February 13, 2019

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