Roger Clemens

Now a 45 year old attention whore, Clemens was once a great baseball player who has played for the Toronto Blue Jays, the Houston Astros, and the New York Yankees. As he got older he's become a roid freak to win back his long time boyfriend Brian McNamee. But it costed him his respect and fame.
Roger Clemens is too old. But he just won't give up.
by Smart American Male June 03, 2008
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Hayden Panettiere

We'll let's just say she's nothing like a Disney Channel actress.

Let's look stuff up. Hands down Hayden is a far better dresser with a taste of a 30 year old. Whereas girls from Disney dress very skanky. Vanessa Hudgens always takes pictures with Hayden so she doesn't look bad. Well compared to her, she does, always. Hayden 1, Disney 0.

She actually started singing at a young age, can carry a note, and has won awards for songs in movies such as A Bug's Life. Today's Disney stars have no experience at singing but they do it anyway to get money and for people like girls and gays and shit to like them. Miley, Vanessa, Ashley, the Jonases, Demi, Selena, Zac? Pfft, do you see a pattern here? This just screams "marketing ploy", and their singing voices are used to kill terrorists. Hayden 2, Disney 0.

Speaking of marketing ploys, Hayden was offered a role in High School Musical. The smart decision was that she refused and did not want the burden of being a clingy attention whore, and would rather breakout as a big star when she turned an appropriate age and have a bright future ahead of her. The Disney actors either don't know how to count, or they are just spoiled brats who want everything now. In 3 years they will all go to rehab or jail or become washups. Hayden 3, Disney 0.

Hayden is also very down to earth, and puts people first over money or fame. She's also a spokeswoman for the Whaleman Foundation and once tried to stop whaling in person. She hopes to become the president of the organization when she retires. Disney? Pfft. Name one time they really went out of their way to help people. That Miley New Year's party was just a set up by MTV to get ratings. And the Jonases get paid for sponsoring the Salvation Army. So yeah name one time...I thought so. Hayden 4, Disney 0.

It's ironic to see that one 19 year old woman beats all of the Disney Channel (ages 14 - 23) in prestige, personality, and reputation. Plus she's hot!
Vanessa Hudgens: HAYDEN! How have you been?! Like, my black slutty whore costume is gonna melt any minute. Can I get a picture with you again so I won't look like shit?
Hayden Panettiere: Does it matter? (Oh god why?)
by Smart American Male January 19, 2009
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Hayden Panettiere

A goddess of the creatures of the sea with an outgoing and friendly personality. She takes the form of an extremely attractive human who happens to be one of America's most successful movie actresses. She was a cheerleader during her years in school and has acted in many roles of cheerleaders in movies, but her most notable role is Claire Bennet from Heroes, where one of her unnecessary powers, regeneration, is put to use. The reason she has chosen the form of an attractive human is to draw the attention to build support to help keep alive her two groups of cohorts called the "Whales" and the "Dolphins", whether it's acting out as the spokesman for the Whaleman Foundation, making bold attempts to save fellow comrades from getting slaughtered personally, known as "Saving The World", or reaching out to her fans via the internet. Hayden is also a singer/songwriter, and her human boyfriend is Milo Ventimiglia, who also plays a character on Heroes.
Girl: My report is on Hayden Panettiere.
Boy: Who the hell's that?
Girl: Oh, she's an actress known as the "Cheerleader who wants to Save the World."
Boy: Pfft. Cheerleaders? Boring. Why not do one on Britney Spears?
Girl: ...Are you kidding me?! God I bet is laughing at you right now.
by Smart American Male June 03, 2008
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asterik

A justice server in the world of sports. Pretty much the greatest way to humiliate cheaters and thieves who have attempted to break records for nothing much in return.
Clear examples of the asterik:
16-0*
Barry Bonds 756 home run ball*
Marion Jones at the Sydney 2000 Olympics* (dq)
by Smart American Male June 03, 2008
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Sportscenter

A daily block of mini sports soap operas packed into one hour. Programs listed in order and the length of the episodes vary:

Yankee Country
Manny Knows Best
The Favre Saga
The Misadventures of T.O.
Lebrontourage
The Red Sox Chronicles (or sometimes a rerun of Yankee Country)

repeat the cycle until 2PM EST.

And check this, they leave women doing the morning shift.
ESPN anchor: And still to come, we take a trip to Ben Roethlisberger's natural habitat at the Pittsburgh Zoo. Later, a rapper comes on stage! What the fuck does this have to do with sports? Who knows?! Don't tell us how to do our business, bitch! It's nawmally good!
Viewer: Man, even Sportscenter could use an offseason.
by Smart American Male April 29, 2009
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SportsCenter

A daily block of mini sports soap operas packed into one hour. Programming varies each day:

"Keeping Up With The Cowdashians" (Cowboys)
"Patriot Way" (Patriots/Tebow)
"The Quarterbachelor" (Jets)
"Total Dodgers" (Dodgers)
"Red Sock Mountain" (formerly titled "The Red Sox Chronicles")
"Lebrontourage" (Briefly known as "Erik's Angels" after LeBron joined Heat)
"Diary of A Mad Black Mamba" (Lakers)
"As The Club Turns" (Tiger Woods)
"All My Crashes" (Danica Patrick)
"Johnny Football" (this is actually a like short cartoon)
and of course the Emmy award winning "Yankee Country" (Yankees)

Notable defunct shows as followed (with possibilities of each returning not ruled out, obviously):

"Manny Knows Best" (Manny Ramirez)
"The Favre Saga" (Brett Favre)
"The Misadventures of T.O." (Terrell Owens)
"Everybody Hates Barry" (Barry Bonds)
"Ocho Cinco Numero Uno" (Chad Johnson)
"Clemonpatra" (Roger Clemons)
"One Life to Lin" (Jeremy Lin)
Viewer: PLEASE can you please cover some actual sports?
Anchor: I don't know what you're getting at. This isn't sports, it's SportsCenter.
by Smart American Male August 05, 2013
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Rock Lee

A character from Naruto, the popular Anime & Manga series. Known for having only the discipline of Taijutsu & the drunken fighting style. The first person to actually successfully attack Garra of the Desert. Lee is also able to shoot lasers from his eyebrows & the his abilities comes from his bowl cut. Lee is the most popular Naruto character for African Americans to cosplay as.
Guy: Rock Lee, haven't you had enough training already?
Lee: If I can't brush my hair 300 times, I am set to go for 500 nostril flares. 214, 215, 216, 217--
by Smart American Male October 28, 2006
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