50 definitions by Sir Bartholomew McTavish

1. Misspelt other word for swaddling material wrapped firmly around an infant,baby or politician to ensure warmth & love.

2. Blankets that have to bolted firmly around a woman while having intercourse in the dark, 'incase God sees her naked' is the usual excuse, but she quite okay with being starkers on her own in her backgarden/playground/webcast.
(Possibly a woman who is a barren lesbian, farmhand.)
MAN: Darling I know we've only known eachother fifteen years and are having a healthy, normal,if awfully infrequent, sexual relationship with one another but would it be ok if we could, perhaps, have sexual relations on top of the funting tonight as I've never so much as seen one of your nipples! The closest is that drawing, that I drew, ten years ago.

WOMAN: (Uninteligable gibberish to the effect of 'No,sex is all you ever think about, you lazy,unshaven,quite wellhung, perverted,disgusting, patriarchal, misogynistic bastard. Give me more female orgasms while I laugh at your penis & talk to my friends about how it only gets wet once a week.' etcetera usual guff,excuses & insults.)
by Sir Bartholomew McTavish December 5, 2007
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simply congregruity between the word norkand the abbreviated word fantastic.
Meaning 'tits that are fantastic'.
1."Say Chesne, check out the rack on that munter, ok she looks like a Scottish Mastiff having a heart attack in a barrel of kippers, but the juggs sure are norktastic"

2.Lindsay NoHands

3.A drunken moment when your watching Jumpin Jack Flash when Whoopie's skirt is getting shredded and you almost hope those nuggs of her flop out.
by Sir Bartholomew McTavish June 14, 2007
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1:) Not just insane but cock-o-nuts insane.

2:) Dick & balls euphemism.

3:) Jim's granny from American Pie 3.
HERMAPHRODITE #1: Dude, why do you have that Sony Playstation 3 up your ass?
DUDE: Because I like it.
HERMAPHRODITE #1:Dude, you're not just insane, you're cockonuts.
DUDE: Thanks.
by Sir Bartholomew McTavish February 17, 2009
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ejokeulate is what happens when something soooo funny happens that you either can't stop laughing, wet yourself or have an orgasm.
Samantha: What's wrong with you?
Carl: I just saw a pensioner fall over trying to eat a creamcake. I think I ejokeulated.
by Sir Bartholomew McTavish September 11, 2008
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A disease (or Poorme condition) that stuck up rich bitches get. They are usually a friend but never fancy you, who is always falling down,getting into fights, crashing her car, breaking bones to get attention because her life is so boring being married to the richest, limpcocked bastard she could find, or having great parents who give her everything.
1) Paris.
2) Nicole.
3) Kathy.
4) Pink sang a song about them stupid, stupid girls.
5) A Brittlebitch is usually any blonde girl who does her homework/job on Wikipedia & drives a Smart Car.
by Sir Bartholomew McTavish December 5, 2007
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Euphemistic. Same as 'Shake Hands with Tommy Tank' or 'Making Love to Madame Palm and Her Five Lovely Daughters' or even 'I'm Going to do a Barclays'
SON: Don't come in Mum, I'm trying to meet Weird Al Spankovich.

MUM: Are you fucking wanking in that bathroom again?

SON: Maybe. (Ughhhhhgggh.)

MUM: Well hurry the fuck up, I need to shit as well and your Dad's downstairs fucking your sister in the other toilet.

SON: What?

MUM: What?
by Sir Bartholomew McTavish February 17, 2009
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Ewan McGreggor's character name from 'Angels and Demons' as opposed to the term Camerlengo, which although is Italian for 'Chamberlain', also happens to sound like a euphamism for someone's cock.
The character of Camerlengo Ewan McFucker will be played by none other than gay-icon Welsh actor, (trying to be Scottish) Ewan McGreggor, or as he's known to the whole universe, Obi-Wan Kenobi.
by Sir Bartholomew McTavish September 20, 2009
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