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Sam is a Dick's definitions

free tour

When a girl gives a guy a small amount of sexual gratification, but withholds the rest until he commits to a relationship.
Last night she gave me the free tour, but I'm definitely gonna subscribe.
by Sam is a Dick November 13, 2006
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Bass player

Typically the one in the band with the biggest penis.
I went home with the lead singer last night and was totally unsatisfied. Tonight I'm fucking the bass player.
by Sam is a Dick April 2, 2007
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Libertarian

Someone who believes that the government is evil but giant corporations would never do anything bad.
Someone who believes that a company's right to make money is more important than the people's right to breathe.
Someone who gets indignant when I kick him in the nuts for blowing smoke in my face.
Someone ranting about the government, usually from the back of a cop car.
The grown up (sort of) equivalent of a kid punching his fist in the air and saying "if you get hit it's your own fault."
Someone too stupid to whack off and pass gas at the same time.
John says he refuses to pay his taxes because he's a Libertarian. The judge didn't share his perspective.
by Sam is a Dick April 3, 2007
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Jena 6

Six high schoolers who were told to ignore a racially motivated threat against their lives. They retaliated by jumping one of the instigators, beating him unconscious. They were charged with attempted murder and conspiracy to commit murder. Apparently a shoe is now a weapon of murder.
The Jena 6 should've finished the job on a kid who thought it was funny to threaten their lives.
by Sam is a Dick October 30, 2007
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STUD

Mark Foley enjoys spending time with young STUDs.
by Sam is a Dick October 25, 2006
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jew camping

To take an expensive RV, with all the amenities, into the woods and spend the entire time inside the vehicle.
Jew #1: What's the difference between Jew camping and staying home?

Jew #2: What?

Jew #1: No, I was seriously asking you.
by Sam is a Dick October 14, 2006
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high-functioning neurotypical

A neurotypical with just enough autistic traits to be tolerable.

These positive traits include:
Not needing to make small talk
Not playing head games
Not playing office politics
Prefering function over prettiness
Not complaining that you hurt their feelings every five seconds
Willingness to discuss things over e-mail rather than phone (bonus points if they prefer this)

In time it is hoped that these neurotypicals might learn to pass for aspie.
This website was designed by a really high-functioning neurotypical, you can tell because it actually works.
by Sam is a Dick October 25, 2006
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