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Definitions by Rydo

Most women experience vagony in childbirth. Others experience it in ill-advised handrail sliding incidents.
Vagony by Rydo January 27, 2012

Male Pattern Balls 

An inevitable patch of hairless scrotum where the testicles mostly rest against the gusset of the gentleman's underwear, resulting in friction baldness.
After a few years of carefree post-pubescent abandon, eventually every guy will suffer from male pattern balls.
Male Pattern Balls by Rydo September 30, 2011

Random Anus Pain 

An unbelievably sharp/stabbing/debilitating pain in the District of Brown that normally lasts for up to 5 entire seconds and then completely disappears with no other side effects or manifestations.

A roughly biannual phenomenon, Random Anus Pain will occur (as the name suggests) for no apparent reason.

Usually happens when the sufferer is in the car, but not always. There is also an ensuing terror that 'This is it!' followed by perhaps several minutes of hyperventilating and the urge to immediately call someone and tell them about it.

It is thought that Random Anus Pain is similar to the body's 'falling off a mountain' flinch reaction when you are about to fall asleep. Except R.A.P. is your body's way of telling you that it can ruin you at any given moment, so you better start appreciating it.
You think childbirth was sore? You've obviously never had Random Anus Pain...
Random Anus Pain by Rydo January 24, 2011

District of Brown 

I got invited to the District of Brown for a ball game. Please don't make me go back there.
District of Brown by Rydo January 22, 2011

Shoodery 

The act of carry another person on your shoulders. The person being carried will be facing forward with their legs draped on the carrier's chest. The carrier can then grip their shins for balance. Most easily done as a fun carrying method of a child, but occasionally with a fun-loving adult.

Warning: Giving an adult male a Shoodery can result in unwanted testicle-neck contact.

Named as such by the people of Glasgow, Scotland (Glaswegians) who pronounce the word 'shoulder' as 'shooder'.
Big Tess was so drunk the other night, I had to give her a Shoodery home. I only wish I'd known she was going commando, I had to prize her off with a crowbar and an inventive sort of suplex.
Shoodery by Rydo December 28, 2010

This is actually happening 

A phrase for use to highlight an ensuing awkward or unbelievable event. Mentioning that it is 'actually happening' helps to address either the awkwardness or awesomeness in the situation to everyone present. Therefore, can be used as a positive reinforcement to encourage the behaviour or as a negative reinforcement to discourage the offender.
Use in positive situation: Three hot women approach man and his friends in a bar and ask if they can join them.
Lucky Man: "This is actually happening."

Use in negative situation: A friend among a group starts to complain about other members of the group in an irrational and mood-ruining manner.
Any other group member: "This is actually happening."
This is actually happening by Rydo December 21, 2010
The fluctuating dilation of the anus after a traumatic event, that makes it reflect the differing sizes of the British 50 pence and 20 pence coins (both coins are hexagonal).
Phone conversation.

Friend: "What's up man?"

Sufferer: "Dude, I've eaten nothing but white bread for three days and I've just had my first shit."

Friend: "Woah, nightmare!"

Sufferer: "Tell me about it, I've been curled up on the couch for the past hour and a half sucking my thumb while my ass is all '50p 20p'."
50p 20p by Rydo December 20, 2010