toilet gamer

A person who sits on the toilet for an inordinate length of time because they're playing a game on their cell phone.
Sis: Damnit Tommy, get outta there! I need to take a shower!
Bro: Calm down, I'm almost done (click, click, click, click).
Sis: I hear that d-pad! Get your ass off the Can, you toilet gamer!
by Russell H July 11, 2007
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Register Clot

Derived from "blood clot", a register clot stops the flow of commerce by continuing to shop even though they have reached the cash register. They order cigarette cartons that are located in distant locked cabinets, paruse the lottery gaming options available to them, or wait for loved ones who are still retrieving that one can of refried beans that they forgot to pick up during their normal shopping rounds.
(husband & wife on cell phone)
Her: "Honey, are you on your way back from the market yet?"
Him: "I should be, but some damned Register Clot is still waiting for the clerk to return with the 2-for-1 brand of creamy peanut butter"...
by Russell H May 22, 2007
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Joe Pesci'd

To get "Fucked at the drivethrough" (from the movie Lethal Weapon). A social fact that the number of times your fast food order will be screwed up is directly proportional to your frequency of using the drive through window. Why? Because they know you'll be several miles away before you notice the mistake, and by then it'll be too much of a hassle to turn around and go back".
Driver: "Dude, can you pass me my double cheeseburger?"
Passenger: "Your what? Oh man, they gave you a ceasar's salad..."
Driver: "DAMN! I'VE BEEN JOE PESCI'D!!"
by Russell H November 26, 2007
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Mashed Potato

A pimple on your face that has popped without your knowledgs.
"Damn, Terri had a nasty mashed potato on her cheek this morning..."
by Russell H May 24, 2007
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Mergeopath

Combines Merge with Sociopath. Defines a driver (usually male, usually talking on a Bluetooth device, usually driving a luxury sports sedan), who passes up an entire line of vehicles at an offramp before cutting/forcing their way into the line at the last possible moment before the exit.

Mergeopath's are self-absorbed, obviously far too important to wait in line like the rest of the common commuters, and cause an immediate rise in the blood pressure level of all those who are aware of their assholish conduct.
(wife on cell phone talking to her husband)

"Yeah, honey, I should be home in about twenty min...OH CRAP (sound of brakes and a purse flying off the passenger's seat to the floor)! I JUST GOT CUT OFF BY SOME DAMNED MERGEOPATH!"
by Russell H May 22, 2007
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AbercromBitch

Any self-absorbed teenage (or wanna-be teenage) self-annointed princess who can't leave the house unless she's plastered with designer clothes labels.
Boy: "Man, did you hear about those dolphin massacres in Japan? How messed up."
AB: "Have you seen me in this shirt before?"
Boy: "Yeah. I mean, dolphins are intelligent and docile animals."
AB: "And my jeans? They make me look fly, huh?"
Boy: "Mmm Hmm. But what can we do to help those dolphins. Is Greenpeace involved, do you think?"
AB: "Oh look, there's Madison. Can you believe she's wearing pink AGAIN!"
Boy: (sigh) "You're such an AbercromBitch..."
by Russell H May 24, 2007
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Facebook Gangster

A suburban teenager who identifies with the urban hip hop culture, but doesn't have any idea what an underprivileged life is. They listen to hip hop, wear their pants way below their waist, and act like the "man's keeping them down" while they watch their 42" flat screen TV's, attend private school, text constantly on their iPhones and spend hours on Facebook sharing their plight with other e-gansters.
Parent's Text: Almost home, did you finish your homework?

Response: OMG, wifi down for 20 mins tonight. Fix it. Cant live this way. Couldn't watch Snoop's new youtube. Almost had to go to coffee bean.

Parent's Text: You poor thing, how can we raise you under such circumstances? I'll be home soon. Do you need a latte from Starbucks, or are you still a Facebook Gangster?
by Russell H February 21, 2011
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