An airplane passenger who immediately vacates their seat the moment the airplane pulls up to the gate and stops.
They quickly grab their bags from the overhead compartment and push forward, anxiously waiting in the aisle to deplane - like a rat abandoning a sinking ship - even though they still have 5 minutes before the doors open. They are usually talking loudly on their cell phones during this entire process.
Their laptop computers and carry on bags press into the faces of the seated passengers, who are oftentimes also treated to an unwanted ringside view of the aisle rat's rear end.
(Husband and Wife seated across the aisle from each other)
Pax 1: Honey, could you hand me my bag?
Pax 2: I can't. These damned aisle rats are in the way.
Any self-absorbed teenage (or wanna-be teenage) self-annointed princess who can't leave the house unless she's plastered with designer clothes labels.
Boy: "Man, did you hear about those dolphin massacres in Japan? How messed up."
AB: "Have you seen me in this shirt before?"
Boy: "Yeah. I mean, dolphins are intelligent and docile animals."
AB: "And my jeans? They make me look fly, huh?"
Boy: "Mmm Hmm. But what can we do to help those dolphins. Is Greenpeace involved, do you think?"
AB: "Oh look, there's Madison. Can you believe she's wearing pink AGAIN!"
Boy: (sigh) "You're such an AbercromBitch..."
A person who sits on the toilet for an inordinate length of time because they're playing a game on their cell phone.
Sis: Damnit Tommy, get outta there! I need to take a shower!
Bro: Calm down, I'm almost done (click, click, click, click).
Sis: I hear that d-pad! Get your ass off the Can, you toilet gamer!
To get "Fucked at the drivethrough" (from the movie Lethal Weapon). A social fact that the number of times your fast food order will be screwed up is directly proportional to your frequency of using the drive through window. Why? Because they know you'll be several miles away before you notice the mistake, and by then it'll be too much of a hassle to turn around and go back".
Driver: "Dude, can you pass me my double cheeseburger?"
Passenger: "Your what? Oh man, they gave you a ceasar's salad..."
Driver: "DAMN! I'VE BEEN JOE PESCI'D!!"
A person who continues shopping even though they have reached the cash register. They order cigarette cartons that are located in distant locked cabinets, paruse the lottery gaming options available to them, or wait for loved ones who are still retrieving that one can of refried beans that they forgot to pick up during their normal shopping rounds.
(husband & wife on cell phone)
Her: "Honey, are you on your way back from the market yet?"
Him: "I should be, but some damned Register Clot is still deciding if they should buy the chunky or the creamy peanut butter".
The red ring that imprints itself around your ass when you sit on the toilet for too long.
Man 1: "Dave, why are you walking funny?"
Man 2: "Had to take a lengthy dump, and now my underwear's rubbing against my toilet hickey"
A suburban teenager who identifies with the urban hip hop culture, but doesn't have any idea what an underprivileged life is. They listen to hip hop, wear their pants way below their waist, and act like the "man's keeping them down" while they watch their 42" flat screen TV's, attend private school, text constantly on their iPhones and spend hours on Facebook sharing their plight with other e-gansters.
Parent's Text: Almost home, did you finish your homework?
Response: OMG, wifi down for 20 mins tonight. Fix it. Cant live this way. Couldn't watch Snoop's new youtube. Almost had to go to coffee bean.
Parent's Text: You poor thing, how can we raise you under such circumstances? I'll be home soon. Do you need a latte from Starbucks, or are you still a Facebook Gangster?
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