Russell Clark's definitions

methylated grill

A term denoting the very visible damage to dentition inevitably caused by long term crystal meth use and which is usually accompanied by unnatural weight loss/muscular wasting and an acne-mottled and/or pasty complexion. The unattractive smile typically displayed by a skelatrix.

Marcus: "Hey He Man, check out your arch rival standing there at the edge of the bar." Bob: "you mean the skinny girl over there with the big hair?" Marcus: "Yeah, that's what's her name. . . Parish Chilton . . with the methylated grill.

Bob: "You're crazy, Marcus, if you're suggesting that I'm . . ." Marcus: "Chill, Bobby Brown, I know you're already hittin' that!"

by Russell Clark December 6, 2006

Parish Chilton

An upper white trash version of Paris Hilton. A white trash female or transvestite who aspires to be like Ms. Hilton and who consciously adopts fashions, speech and mannerisms made famous by the spoiled scioness of the Hotel magnate.

A conjunction of the two terms Parish and Chilton, each with mainstream references, e.g., "Parish" is the Louisiana equivalent to "County" and "Chilton" is a reference to the Auto Parts Reference Manual. The urbandictionary.com definitions of these terms are considerably seedier and decidedly connote that which is thoroughgoingly low class.

Bob: After Suzy won the lotto last year she went Parish Chilton big time and like crazy fast, fried and dyed her hair, got Botox, Lipo and boob implants and then moved with her passle of chirrens into that abandoned mansion of a spec house there in Collyel - you know, the one with the large swimming pool shaped like the Jim Beam bottle. Oh and she finally lawyered up and divorced that good for nothing moron Tommy who's been sponging off of her all these years. Next thing you know, she bought herself a Chihuahua, a Hummer H3 and is now with misteree beef on a two week cruise to Cancun.

Marcus: "One word, Bobby. . . go girl!"

by Russell Clark December 6, 2006

recycling of endearments

A common tactic of an Identity Deficit Disorder sufferer. Akin to the regifting practice made famous by Seinfeld, except not with Christmas presents for ones friends, but with endearing nicknames for ones lovers. The cynical practice of pimp daddies everywhere.

Back in High School, whenever I wasn't dating anyone, my best friend Marcus would sometimes kindly invite me out with him on his dates. I started begging off though after a few such get togethers and not just for the obvious reason that this was a kind of weird social practice, but actually mostly because I got sick of seeing how Marcus shamelessly practiced the recycling of endearments like "sweetums", "loviekins" and "babydoll". Of course the girl of the moment was none the wiser to all this.

by Russell Clark December 6, 2006

identity deficit disorder

Otherwise known as IDD, a relatively rare disorder characterized by a notable lack of original, which is to say, innovative, interesting or humorous ideas. Like Rabies, the first symptom of this "disease" is a developing fear in the victim that they may indeed be a sufferer. This leads the sufferer of IDD to develop various tactics and strategies for masking this deficit of metaphysical presence, for example, keeping one's mentor(s) in the closet and isolated from one's social circles so that one's frequent parroting of the mentor's wisdom and witticisms is not detected and can be passed off as one's own. Another common tactic of a sufferer of IDD is the practice of recycling of endearments.

The character Howard Crick played by Will Farrell in the popular film, Stranger than Fiction (2006) provides us with as good an example as any of a person suffering from what might be termed "identity deficit disorder".

What Derrida has effectively accused all thinkers of suffering from when he proved that metaphysical presence is mere illusion.

Tommy frequently recycled the ideas and suggestions of his friends and acquaintances. And in this way at least put up a passable appearance of having a personality to call his own. If Tommy ever did have an idea of his very own no one ever knew it since it'd invariably die on the vine before he could tell anyone.

by Russell Clark December 6, 2006

Misteree beef

A dumb, good-looking younger man, probably a gigolo or possibly even a dumcumpster who is suddenly seen around town with an upstart or otherwise gossipable divorcee, and one who decidedly keeps her new beau out of her usual social circles, which she has deserted for the time being. Similar but in opposite sense to the girlfriend from Canada of Saturday Night Live fame. A knowing play on the the phrase "mystery beef" or perhaps, even on "Mister eBeef", which is a reference to a no-strings-attached hookup acquired via the Internet.

Bob: After Suzy won the lotto last year she went Parish Chilton big time and like crazy fast, fried and dyed her hair, got Botox, Lipo and boob implants and then moved with her passle of chirrens into that abandoned mansion of a spec house there in Collyel - you know, the one with the large swimming pool shaped like a Jim Beam bottle. Oh, and she finally lawyered up and divorced that good for nothing moron Tommy who's been sponging off of her all these years. Next thing you know, she bought herself a Chihuahua, a Hummer H3 and is now with Misteree beef on a two week cruise to Cancun.

Marcus: "One word. . . go girl!" Bob: "Man, bruh, money can't buy good taste!" Marcus: "Who said it had too, lil bro?"

by Russell Clark December 6, 2006

scioness

The female counterpart to a scion. A female descendant or child of a wealthy, aristocratic, or influential family. An heiress to a financial empire.

Sporting a diamond-encrusted Tiara, Miss Erica Rose, unabashed debutante and scioness of the Franklin-Cindi empire, is the most promisingly treacherous of contestants vying to star on this year's Roman rehash of "The Bachelor", which shall showcase 25 ambitious young thangs dueling to wed the Prince Lorenzo Borcheezy, who it is reputed holds a number of lapsed ducal titles to small tracts of property in the Southern United States, among them the little fleabite of a (or flea-bitten) town of Collyel, Louisiana in Livingston Parish.

by Russell Clark December 6, 2006

chirrens

A term of possible Southern US origin connoting a group of half-siblings, each of whom possesses a different babydaddy and on one or more of whom's behalf the mother receives a crazy check. The term posseses no singular form and is distinct in meaning from the similar term, chirren, which is a simple corruption of the standard English, children.

After Suzy won the lotto last year she went Parish Chilton big time and like crazy fast, fried and dyed her hair, got Botox, Lipo and boob implants and then moved with her passle of chirrens into that abandoned mansion of a spec house there in Collyel - you know, the one with the large swimming pool shaped like the Jim Beam bottle. But wouldn't you know it. . . it wasn't long after this that each of those chirrens' babydaddies came out of the woodwork to show sudden interest in the welfare of his respective child. You know, I think one of the jokers even tried to claim that he had paternity over all of the children!

by Russell Clark December 6, 2006