Russell Clark's definitions

dumcumpster

A man who only has sex with cumdumpsters, usually out of necessity rather than prefernce.

Benny is a real dumcumpster who wouldn't get laid if it weren't for the drunken pursuit of buddies' discarded bobags.

by Russell Clark May 14, 2006

homophrenia

A postmodern personality disorder occurring most commonly during adolescence and young adulthood and characterized by latent homosexuality and/or the growing fear of becoming or turning homosexual.

Homophobia is the most important diagnostic indicator of homophrenia.

by Russell Clark December 6, 2006

Misteree beef

A dumb, good-looking younger man, probably a gigolo or possibly even a dumcumpster who is suddenly seen around town with an upstart or otherwise gossipable divorcee, and one who decidedly keeps her new beau out of her usual social circles, which she has deserted for the time being. Similar but in opposite sense to the girlfriend from Canada of Saturday Night Live fame. A knowing play on the the phrase "mystery beef" or perhaps, even on "Mister eBeef", which is a reference to a no-strings-attached hookup acquired via the Internet.

Bob: After Suzy won the lotto last year she went Parish Chilton big time and like crazy fast, fried and dyed her hair, got Botox, Lipo and boob implants and then moved with her passle of chirrens into that abandoned mansion of a spec house there in Collyel - you know, the one with the large swimming pool shaped like a Jim Beam bottle. Oh, and she finally lawyered up and divorced that good for nothing moron Tommy who's been sponging off of her all these years. Next thing you know, she bought herself a Chihuahua, a Hummer H3 and is now with Misteree beef on a two week cruise to Cancun.

Marcus: "One word. . . go girl!" Bob: "Man, bruh, money can't buy good taste!" Marcus: "Who said it had too, lil bro?"

by Russell Clark December 6, 2006

chaw

An embarrassing lie from which one cannot extricate oneself.

He was caught in a chaw once they confronted him with the person whom he said started the rumor.

by Russell Clark September 24, 2003

hedgling

A naive though usually amiable person who always tailors his or her opinions, tastes or behavior to suit the prevailing social group of the moment. A person whose social tendencies range from chameleon-like approval seeker to unwittingly disingenous. A person with a weak or poorly defined sense of self.

The youngest of the mayorial candidates was a real hedgling, seeming not to realize he had changed his stand on the issues after each interview.

by Russell Clark May 14, 2006

openlid

Describing a student with more college hours than typically required for graduation but who remains ineligible for a degree.

Yo, that mug been to 'bout eight different universities in the past 10 years though he still openlid!

by Russell Clark May 21, 2003

Boskop

A species of the genus Homo native to the Boskop region of South Africa between 10,000 and 30,000 B.C., averaging between 5.0 and 6.0 feet in height and boasting of an average cranial capacity of 1500-1800 cubic centimeters versus the more modest average of 1250-1500 cc for modern homo sapiens.

Boskop man exhibited a high cranial-to-facial ratio approaching 5-to-1 versus the modern ratio of 3-to-1. Consequently Boskop man exhibited a high degree of neotony with a cranial-to-facial ratio more appropriate to that of a two to three-year-old homo sapiens child.

The Boskop people are to many archaeologists inexplicable because no evidence remains of the factors that must have been present in their environment which over time selected for the appearance of out-sized brains. The Boskop were, according to Loren Eiseley, both negroid and neotonous in appearance and may well represent the highest level yet achieved in the evolutionary development of the genus homo.

by Russell Clark March 15, 2008